Jiggerycock Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 Go to Bradford, you'll soon be fucking running mate... and fast.."I gym" = "you Cunt".Bollocks, no such thing as "solitude" in a gym, it's all posing cunts pretending to ignore everyone else yet secretly wanting "approval" and a quick shag from that fit blonde who actually does ignore everyone because she IS better than any of you.. Coffee is black. And I'm a 6' blonde haired blue eyed Vikingr who everyone fancies, even the bloke down the road with the fit wife does.Feelings mutual, but I'm not corpulant, and I have will power, except when it comes to....Ah, fuck.. you got me on the bacon sandwiches.. however I will outlive most of you cunts and still look better in the grave... my wifes' gran had a bacon butty every morning and lived until she was 94, my gran lived to 97 on bacon and sausage for breakfast....You mis-typed that, you meant "suck my huge bundle maggots for a cock, "Salt makes everything taste better, especially seasalt on caramel. Christ was a half starved weedy cunt who stunk of fish.You clearly don't come from Aylesbury, where these weebles abound, popping out of their egg sacks at the rate of one a minute, else you'd change your tune PDQ.Still, it doesn't matter if you last saw your cock just before puberty or your tits are in your shopping basket or you've given up on any pretence of dignity or responsibility for yourself. You pay your taxes and it's down to the NHS and society to come to terms with your greed and diseases. Anyway, this is the 21st Century and it's all about 'how you feel and stuff'Now pass me that doughnut because I'm just big boned, that's all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 Now pass me that doughnut because I'm just big boned, that's all.I'm not having that doughnut after you... it was supposed to be a jam doughnut, not a custard one... sick fuck.... Anyway.. it's not rocket science, same goes in as goes out, otherwise you get fat or starve... don't eat too much processed shit and you can eat more or less what you like...Now.. where's the bacon and lard gone...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 I used to 'gym'. When I did go it was a love / hate relationship. I hated it when I first got in there and I loved it when I left but it was good for me so I persevered for years. What fucked me off though was the garrulous twats who insisted on exercising in proper combat trousers and caterpillar boots matched with a piece of string they reckoned was a vest. They would arrive bench press large weights by arching their back and bouncing it off their chest for 30 seconds and then spend the next 9 minutes telling the mirror how good they are. The dirty cunts would then drive home without showering or changing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 I'm not having that doughnut after you... it was supposed to be a jam doughnut, not a custard one... sick fuck.... Anyway.. it's not rocket science, same goes in as goes out, otherwise you get fat or starve... don't eat too much processed shit and you can eat more or less what you like...Now.. where's the bacon and lard gone...?It may not be rocket science but it's still gone over the heads of a vast swathe of our population.Fuck the lot of them. When the nuclear winter comes down on us, they won't get through the doors of the shelters - and if they do, they'll be shot by the guards for sticking their mitts in the cookie jars, before the kids got first dibs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 Never had the slightest inclination to go to the gym. I much prefer to just go out running in the fresh air and doing a few weights in the garage. My neighbour is always saying how he's been for a run at the gym. No you haven't, you cunt, you've been on a machine where you jump in the air and the road moves under you. Full of pretentious cunts, some of which are no doubt working out with their personal trainers, and hoping to spend their way fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 Gyms are full of cunts,fat cunts,fit cunts,posey cunts,I only went once cos my mate said they had got a new machine in,fucking great it was,full of crisps,twix's,coke,crunchies etcI can picture you now, Neil, you husky leviathan. Buttons straining to bursting point on your Matalan nylon shirt as you squat over a mirror, wanking furiously and desperately hoping to spot the tip of the crunchie bar you rectally inserted earlier for your cheap Thursday thrill. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 I can picture you now, Neil, you husky leviathan. Buttons straining to bursting point on your Matalan nylon shirt as you squat over a mirror, wanking furiously and desperately hoping to spot the tip of the crunchie bar you rectally inserted earlier for your cheap Thursday thrill."Thank crunchie its thursday"? I don't fucking think so,you're a day early you soppy cunt 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 What really gets on my tits, and although I have never set foot in a gym because they are for irons, I am certain that this happens in the gym changing rooms.Alpha male cockjockys. Cunts that swagger around naked like they fucking own the place.I'm drying my hair, modest like, towel around my waist and some naked fucker will be swaggering around, having conversations with cunts. Put it away, no one wants to see your tiny cock you cunt. They really dont understand that the only changing room a real man should be starkers in, is the ladies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 "Yeah, just been to the gym. Lifted weights for about ten fucking seconds, walked on the treadmill for five minutes then went for a pint and a chippy and put on twenty times the calories I just burned off." Gormless bastards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 Or stupid cunts who lift twice their own bodyweight and think it makes them fit but couldn't run from one side of the fucking gym to the other.Gas the cunts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 Now.. where's the bacon and lard gone...?You used it to style your chavvy hair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 21, 2015 Report Share Posted August 21, 2015 You used it to style your chavvy hair.Now, you are soooooooooooo far wrong it's unbelievable..... my hair is nearer this than a chavs'... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted August 21, 2015 Report Share Posted August 21, 2015 Ding. Are you fucking alright? That post resembles the kind of thing I'd expect to read shortly preceding "...then he ended his own life by asphyxiation. Yes, his cock was hanging out but it took detectives a long time to notice it." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 21, 2015 Report Share Posted August 21, 2015 Ding. Are you fucking alright? That post resembles the kind of thing I'd expect to read shortly preceding "...then he ended his own life by asphyxiation. Yes, his cock was hanging out but it took detectives a long time to notice it." Why oh why did I use up all my likes on all the other worthless shit on this site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted August 21, 2015 Report Share Posted August 21, 2015 I have come to realise long ago that excessive lard and steroid bulk go hand in hand with low IQ and should be exterminated immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 21, 2015 Report Share Posted August 21, 2015 Ding. Are you fucking alright? That post resembles the kind of thing I'd expect to read shortly preceding "...then he ended his own life by asphyxiation. Yes, his cock was hanging out but it took detectives a long time to notice it." Actually, it's more likely to precede a fictional submission to Penthouse Forum about a bukkake party for transvestite bin men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 22, 2015 Report Share Posted August 22, 2015 Ding. Are you fucking alright? That post resembles the kind of thing I'd expect to read shortly preceding "...then he ended his own life by asphyxiation. Yes, his cock was hanging out but it took detectives a long time to notice it."Me? Never felt better... well.. when I say never....Why oh why did I use up all my likes on all the other worthless shit on this site...as opposed to this worthless shit...?Actually, it's more likely to precede a fictional submission to Penthouse Forum about a bukkake party for transvestite bin men. I've fucking told you before.. do NOT get me mixed up with Judy and Brony's BBQ... In that post I very nearly said that I'm younger, taller and much better looking... but then I thought I'd save it for later... fucking proles.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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