Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 He could get Chris Ewbank on his show talking abaht his favourite rethipe of theriously theared thirloin thteak. Fuck me by the time they were finished the whole crew would be in life jackets!Dont worry, you will get the hang of the quote thing.I find my only dilemma this morning is which hand rejected me first and how I can pursuade the other to do the deed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 Welcome Charles, in your initial attempt at contributing to this forum i notice that you do have a certain, je ne sais quoi, about you but your grasp of the techy bits of the website seems to have quickly determined your IQ level. May i be the first to enquire if you would like a suck on Judges' dick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 He could get Chris Ewbank on his show talking abaht his favourite rethipe of theriously theared thirloin thteak. Fuck me by the time they were finished the whole crew would be in life jackets!I had heard that his favourite tune is "theventy thixth twumbonthe in the big pawade". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 I had heard that his favourite tune is "theventy thixth twumbonthe in the big pawade".You heard wrong, alfie. Eubanks favourite ditty is thex and drugth and wock and woll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 Although he also liked thither thledge.(Enough Ewbank jokes now.....ed) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 6, 2015 Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 He could get Chris Ewbank on his show talking abaht his favourite rethipe of theriously theared thirloin thteak. Fuck me by the time they were finished the whole crew would be in life jackets!I suggest you embrace those suicidal thoughts you no doubt experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 I just caught the end of an advert for one of the Oliver-cunts shows, and he used the phrase "wazzy wazzy woo woo" to describe the act of putting something in a blender. I need to think up a suitable phrase to describe the sound a fucking wood chipper might make while ingesting the aforementioned Oliver-cunt, then do it for real and see how close I was. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 I just caught the end of an advert for one of the Oliver-cunts shows, and he used the phrase "wazzy wazzy woo woo" to describe the act of putting something in a blender. I need to think up a suitable phrase to describe the sound a fucking wood chipper might make while ingesting the aforementioned Oliver-cunt, then do it for real and see how close I was.Brrrrr-tunk-tunk, brrrrr-tunk-tunk, brrrr-ptang!It goes without saying that this describes the "feet first and still conscious" approach favoured by connoisseurs everywhere, the final "ptang" being the expulsion of the skull. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 Brrrrr-tunk-tunk, brrrrr-tunk-tunk, brrrr-ptang!It goes without saying that this describes the "feet first and still conscious" approach favoured by connoisseurs everywhere, the final "ptang" being the expulsion of the skull. Feet first is the "pucka" way to do it, that's for sure. I'm not entirely sure about the sound his skull would make though, it's contents being a total vacuum. Some sort of imploding noise I'd imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 I see this cunt is all over the internet having lost 2 stone,did someone cut his tongue off?I wonder how he managed. All he probably had was an expensive personal trainer and access to the best health and fitness advice available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 Feet first is the "pucka" way to do it, that's for sure. I'm not entirely sure about the sound his skull would make though, it's contents being a total vacuum. Some sort of imploding noise I'd imagine. If I recall my Batman correctly, that would be a "Thwooop". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 If I recall my Batman correctly, that would be a "Thwooop".Your Robin and I claim my £5.(Like you never saw that coming). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted October 20, 2015 Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 Fuck off Oliver you total spasmodic cunt, if I want sugar in my fizzy drinks then I will choose to have it, who the fuck are you to push for a sugar tax. Educate the cunts of parents who fill their brats with sugar, dont make the rest of us pay for their poor parenting. Fucking officious twatting bellend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted October 20, 2015 Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 This cunt is getting ideas way above his fucking station. He's a fucking chef who only got famous because of the brain-dead celebrity, obsessed cunts who make up the majority of the population in this fucking country. He'd do well to remember that and stop his preaching and fucking whining.But of course he won't, the cunt.Fuck off Oliver you total spasmodic cunt, if I want sugar in my fizzy drinks then I will choose to have it, who the fuck are you to push for a sugar tax. Educate the cunts of parents who fill their brats with sugar, dont make the rest of us pay for their poor parenting. Fucking officious twatting bellend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 20, 2015 Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 This fucking spacker is charging a fiver for a bag of pork scratchings and eleven quid for a lemon soda at his breakfast club / butchers (barbecoa, bread st london) gordon ramsay (another scrote faced flyd) stated "if you are in the st pauls area and you fancy a casual dining (arse reaming) experience you could not do better! Was recently working in building across road and saw a massive ox tongue hanging in the window, for a split second i thought the cunt was going through logo change / brand relaunch - crayon munching cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted October 20, 2015 Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 I know someone who's been to one of Oliver's restaurants and after paying something like £100 a head for three courses the first thing they did when leaving was go to a McDonalds as they were fucking starving. Rip-off fucking shite for stuck-up cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted October 20, 2015 Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 Wet lipped cunteroo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ahriman Posted October 20, 2015 Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 Fuck you Jamie Oliver, if you want to take my can of fizzy pop you can pry it from my cold dead diabetes ridden hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted October 21, 2015 Report Share Posted October 21, 2015 Wet lipped cunteroo.Jamie Oliver is the Ralph Wiggum of the culinary world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 21, 2015 Report Share Posted October 21, 2015 This fucking spacker is charging a fiver for a bag of pork scratchings and eleven quid for a lemon soda at his breakfast club / butchers (barbecoa, bread st london) gordon ramsay (another scrote faced flyd) stated "if you are in the st pauls area and you fancy a casual dining (arse reaming) experience you could not do better! Was recently working in building across road and saw a massive ox tongue hanging in the window, for a split second i thought the cunt was going through logo change / brand relaunch - crayon munching cunt.Oliver is not the spacker, it is the stupid fucking cunts who spend £11 on said lemon soda who need psychiatric evaluation and possibly euthanasia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted October 21, 2015 Report Share Posted October 21, 2015 Wet lipped cunteroo.Are we talking about Katie Price again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted October 21, 2015 Report Share Posted October 21, 2015 Jamie Oliver is the Ralph Wiggum of the culinary world.Haha! Bang on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted October 21, 2015 Report Share Posted October 21, 2015 I go to Jamies Italian in Greenwich quite a lot. It's fucking good, nice beer and it's not that expensive. Around £60/70 for the two of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted May 7, 2016 Report Share Posted May 7, 2016 This utter fucking swollen-tongued gurn-and-grin to the camera cunt has just described eggs as 'the worlds most democratic protein'. What a fucking cunt worthy fucking cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted May 7, 2016 Report Share Posted May 7, 2016 36 minutes ago, Bubbles said: This utter fucking swollen-tongued gurn-and-grin to the camera cunt has just described eggs as 'the worlds most democratic protein'. What a fucking cunt worthy fucking cunt. Well, he is sort of right. High in protein, cheap, versatile and a classless staple food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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