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Spunkless Wanking.


Guest Quincy Cockfingers

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers

Woe betide the cunt who spills his seed on the ground with enough gusto that the factory's two workers chuck down tools and picket.

Not only is it a waste of valuable spunkium phosphate that would otherwise be supplementing the missus's diet, providing an excellent hair conditioner, and generously enhancing her facial skin-tone, it also may contribute to marital issues via the suspicion one is injecting ones payload into orbit around another body. 

At the height of my masterbatory powers I would of a day cream around the house or garden 5 or 7 times a day- alas! Now I must watch my step.

I am sure I am not alone when In hesitating over that 4th ham shandy thinking "fucking just do it QC , she's going to give out fuck all later anyway", then Sod's law, she arrives home with a glint in her eye and you know you must contractually deliver the goods. 

Quick! Eat 6 bananas! A packet of zinc supplements! And to work! Much grunting and over acting and you realise you are not capable of delivering a 5th hot yogurt! What to do? She will catch on at the lack of "trickle down economics", so- withdraw, gasp dramatically, place one finger against one nostril and blast the snot from the other over her back.

cushdy.

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Just now, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Quick! Eat 6 bananas! A packet of zinc supplements! And to work! Much grunting and over acting and you realise you are not capable of delivering a 5th hot yogurt! What to do? She will catch on at the lack of "trickle down economics", so- withdraw, gasp dramatically, place one finger against one nostril and blast the snot from the other over her back.

cushdy.

An absolutely fucking terrifying image.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
Just now, Bubbles said:

You are one depraved cunt, Quincy. 

I'm quite pleased with this one. To be honest I'd only thought up the phrase "spunkless wanking" having read something about alcohol free beer and got stuck in, hoping that it would sort itself out mid process- and as it often does, it did.

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Guest Bill Stickers

Quincy, this is definitive proof that your brain has not developed since you were 15 years old.

Nobody past that age bothers to crack out more than 2 wanks a day.

I dread to think what your internet search history looks like... at 5+ videos a day you must have wandered into the filthiest, most vile crevices of kink and fetish. 

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Guest DingTheRioja
12 minutes ago, neil298 said:

Not half as disturbing as knocking one out the day after a prostate biopsy,imagine a blackcurrant yoghurt but darker,fucking frightening.Even that couldn't entice Mrs N to grab a spoon!

Neil, lowering the fucking tone as usual.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said:

Quincy, this is definitive proof that your brain has not developed since you were 15 years old.

Nobody past that age bothers to crack out more than 2 wanks a day.

I dread to think what your internet search history looks like... at 5+ videos a day you must have wandered into the filthiest, most vile crevices of kink and fetish. 

Bill, I hesitate to contradict you. My imagination is as you might have detected cess pool fecund and of no need of IT support.

I take it everyone has run out of likes today, and tomorrow I can expect 12 or so on top of this shit. Ladies- do not be bashful.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said:

Quincy, this is definitive proof that your brain has not developed since you were 15 years old.

Nobody past that age bothers to crack out more than 2 wanks a day.

I dread to think what your internet search history looks like... at 5+ videos a day you must have wandered into the filthiest, most vile crevices of kink and fetish. 

True athletes push the envelope into later years bill. 

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Guest deebom

I have never wanked so much that I have run out of jizz.

Quincy you disappoint me greatly and I've never met you. Tell me, do you find that friends and family always seem to to be busy whenever you try to make plans with them?

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2 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Woe betide the cunt who spills his seed on the ground with enough gusto that the factory's two workers chuck down tools and picket.

Not only is it a waste of valuable spunkium phosphate that would otherwise be supplementing the missus's diet, providing an excellent hair conditioner, and generously enhancing her facial skin-tone, it also may contribute to marital issues via the suspicion one is injecting ones payload into orbit around another body. 

At the height of my masterbatory powers I would of a day cream around the house or garden 5 or 7 times a day- alas! Now I must watch my step.

I am sure I am not alone when In hesitating over that 4th ham shandy thinking "fucking just do it QC , she's going to give out fuck all later anyway", then Sod's law, she arrives home with a glint in her eye and you know you must contractually deliver the goods. 

Quick! Eat 6 bananas! A packet of zinc supplements! And to work! Much grunting and over acting and you realise you are not capable of delivering a 5th hot yogurt! What to do? She will catch on at the lack of "trickle down economics", so- withdraw, gasp dramatically, place one finger against one nostril and blast the snot from the other over her back.

cushdy.

Nice. Out of likes though...

Your balls must be like raisins and your bell-end a tinned tomato with the skin hanging off.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
1 hour ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Bill, I hesitate to contradict you. My imagination is as you might have detected cess pool fecund and of no need of IT support.

I take it everyone has run out of likes today, and tomorrow I can expect 12 or so on top of this shit. Ladies- do not be bashful.

The biggest wanker on Cunts Corner. You couldn't make this shit up.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
5 minutes ago, Gurt said:

Nice. Out of likes though...

Your balls must be like raisins and your bell-end a tinned tomato with the skin hanging off.

Does it make you hard thinking about Kwinces cock and balls, you fucking poof.

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Just now, Drew P Pissflaps said:

Does it make you hard thinking about Kwinces cock and balls, you fucking poof.

Does it make you jealous that other people have stairs?

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Guest luke swarm
2 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Woe betide the cunt who spills his seed on the ground with enough gusto that the factory's two workers chuck down tools and picket.

Not only is it a waste of valuable spunkium phosphate that would otherwise be supplementing the missus's diet, providing an excellent hair conditioner, and generously enhancing her facial skin-tone, it also may contribute to marital issues via the suspicion one is injecting ones payload into orbit around another body. 

At the height of my masterbatory powers I would of a day cream around the house or garden 5 or 7 times a day- alas! Now I must watch my step.

I am sure I am not alone when In hesitating over that 4th ham shandy thinking "fucking just do it QC , she's going to give out fuck all later anyway", then Sod's law, she arrives home with a glint in her eye and you know you must contractually deliver the goods. 

Quick! Eat 6 bananas! A packet of zinc supplements! And to work! Much grunting and over acting and you realise you are not capable of delivering a 5th hot yogurt! What to do? She will catch on at the lack of "trickle down economics", so- withdraw, gasp dramatically, place one finger against one nostril and blast the snot from the other over her back.

cushdy.

Good work Quince.....Many an older gentleman has wrestled with this dilemma and the only choice is to ration ones hand shandy quota as ones resources start to dwindle. Trouble with porn these days is that is so easily available. This is a long way from the struggle in the old day.......the seedy private shops and guilty glances on entering and red faces on exit with ones chosen literature in a brown bag. Whatever happened to color climax anyway

Nowadays its straight onto tinternet and the content is catering to some very strange cunts indeed. Any perversion is only a click away and this has led to an almighty surge in kitchen roll and computer wipes sales. Another lost opportunity to get rich lost.

So the solution to your dilemma....develop a slight intermittent  shoulder injury and when its obvious that you cannot deliver the sauce just say..sorry love but I cannot concentrate with this damned pain. they will love you more as this as it proves you tried even though in a lot of pain..it err works for a friend of mine.    

  

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Guest Bill Stickers

If this thread doesn't have the new members joining in their droves I simply don't know what will. A timeless nomination with high quality responses. More! More! 

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