Pub "regulars"

[Bubba C]

Annoying, divorced fucking cunts whose kids hate them, who have an arse groove in "their" stool at the local. 

Trying to have a relax in a pub in the Cotswolds and there are 2 alcoholic fucking morons, who think me and the ball and chain are fascinated by their every word and wish to partake in their retarded conversation about Tina Turner. 

Cunts who frequent the same pub more than once a week without working there need putting to sleep. 

[Guest Judas]

Just now, Bubba C said:

Annoying, divorced fucking cunts whose kids hate them, who have an arse groove in "their" stool at the local. 

Trying to have a relax in a pub in the Cotswolds and there are 2 alcoholic fucking morons, who think me and the ball and chain are fascinated by their every word and wish to partake in their retarded conversation about Tina Turner. 

Cunts who frequent the same pub more than once a week without working there need putting to sleep. 

Agreed, but only surpassed by cunts who go to the pub on their own...

[Witheredscrote]

2 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Annoying, divorced fucking cunts whose kids hate them, who have an arse groove in "their" stool at the local. 

Trying to have a relax in a pub in the Cotswolds and there are 2 alcoholic fucking morons, who think me and the ball and chain are fascinated by their every word and wish to partake in their retarded conversation about Tina Turner. 

Cunts who frequent the same pub more than once a week without working there need putting to sleep. 

Trying to relax in a Cotswold pub, impossible, there are too many cunts live there, and I know there is definitely one more tonight.

[Decimus]

1 minute ago, witheredscrote said:

Trying to relax in a Cotswold pub, impossible, there are too many cunts live there, and I know there is definitely one more tonight.

Get fucked, you skin flint cunt.

[Witheredscrote]

1 minute ago, Decimus said:

That tardy French cunt Withers turned up 50 minutes late for our rendezvous at The Nelson in Norwich. I can confirm the age old saying that "wogs begin at Calais" because he's as black as the ace of spades. Either that or he hasn't washed in 15 years, which seems more likely, the loathsome fucking toad.

And he ordered a half.

Fuck off, its owned by Premiere Inns and I fucking hate Lenny Henry. Have a good night, that cunt does.

[Guest I know that Cunt]

6 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Annoying, divorced fucking cunts whose kids hate them, who have an arse groove in "their" stool at the local. 

Trying to have a relax in a pub in the Cotswolds and there are 2 alcoholic fucking morons, who think me and the ball and chain are fascinated by their every word and wish to partake in their retarded conversation about Tina Turner. 

Cunts who frequent the same pub more than once a week without working there need putting to sleep. 

What a shit nom, the only "two alcoholic fucking morons" there was you and someone else. Fuck off

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

Down in darkest Leith you still find pubs that open at about 7:00 for the benefit of 'dock workers'. Usually full of shaky old men that make incomprehensible noises at nothing in particular. 

[Guest I know that Cunt]

3 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Down in darkest Leith you still find pubs that open at about 7:00 for the benefit of 'dock workers'. Usually full of shaky old men that make incomprehensible noises at nothing in particular. 

A bit like you in here then you stupid cunt.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

Just now, I know that Cunt said:

A bit like you in here then you stupid cunt.

Mind if I bring ma dug in pal? He'll no bite you eh? He's a canny beast an tha'. Fuckin....

[Cuntybaws]

A few years back I found myself in a pub that had once appeared on “Britain's Hardest Pubs” and every old cunt in there was still banging on about it five years later in the mistaken belief that this would somehow impress the stranger in their midst. It was like being in the Slaughtered Lamb out of “American Werewolf in London”, although thankfully without any Yorkshiremen. Not one of the cunts would have lasted five fucking minutes in the poshest pub in Glasgow either, let alone a Gorbals pillbox.

[Guest Manky]

41 minutes ago, Judas said:

Agreed, but only surpassed by cunts who go to the pub on their own...

I go yo the pub on my own or in company. Anything between none to seven times s week. There are enough laws covering drinking without cunts on here issuing their own guidelines.

Essentially, if it suits, it is OK. But no Welsh.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

This pub has Union flags outside! How Jolly! Look Rupert, they're painting the curb stones! 

[Guest luke swarm]

8 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

A few years back I found myself in a pub that had once appeared on “Britain's Hardest Pubs” and every old cunt in there was still banging on about it five years later in the mistaken belief that this would somehow impress the stranger in their midst. It was like being in the Slaughtered Lamb out of “American Werewolf in London”, although thankfully without any Yorkshiremen. Not one of the cunts would have lasted five fucking minutes in the poshest pub in Glasgow either, let alone a Gorbals pillbox.

I watched that Britains Hardest Pubs once and probably like a lot of people thought that it was incorrectly named......the title of that series should of course have been..........Britains Thickest Cunts in Pubs.

   

[Guest Judas]

11 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

A few years back I found myself in a pub that had once appeared on “Britain's Hardest Pubs” and every old cunt in there was still banging on about it five years later in the mistaken belief that this would somehow impress the stranger in their midst. It was like being in the Slaughtered Lamb out of “American Werewolf in London”, although thankfully without any Yorkshiremen. Not one of the cunts would have lasted five fucking minutes in the poshest pub in Glasgow either, let alone a Gorbals pillbox.

I'll tell ya this, bet it was in  was in Govan.

[Guest Judas]

2 minutes ago, Manky said:

I go yo the pub on my own or in company. Anything between none to seven times s week. There are enough laws covering drinking without cunts on here issuing their own guidelines.

Essentially, if it suits, it is OK. But no Welsh.

Only needy cunts goto the pub on their own. The lonely cunts monitor conversations closer than the FBI. Be careful the lonely fucks will jump in a conversation and give their unwanted opinion. Then you will spend the rest of the evening trying to shake them off. Beware the paper reading, real ale drinking loner.

[Guest luke swarm]

46 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Annoying, divorced fucking cunts whose kids hate them, who have an arse groove in "their" stool at the local. 

Trying to have a relax in a pub in the Cotswolds and there are 2 alcoholic fucking morons, who think me and the ball and chain are fascinated by their every word and wish to partake in their retarded conversation about Tina Turner. 

Cunts who frequent the same pub more than once a week without working there need putting to sleep. 

Cotswolds Bubba, be careful down there, if they somehow try to steer the conversation from Tina Turner to sheep, get the fuck out of there and quick. 

[Guest Manky]

5 minutes ago, Judas said:

Only needy cunts goto the pub on their own. The lonely cunts monitor conversations closer than the FBI. Be careful the lonely fucks will jump in a conversation and give their unwanted opinion. Then you will spend the rest of the evening trying to shake them off. Beware the paper reading, real ale drinking loner.

Fucking bollocks. Drinking is for pleasure and not some bizarre ritual with rules and regulations for failed Masons you daft cunt.

[Witheredscrote]

5 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

Cotswolds Bubba, be careful down there, if they somehow try to steer the conversation from Tina Turner to sheep, get the fuck out of there and quick. 

Don't worry about Bubba, his missus is with him. She will scare the shit out the locals, and if she farts on her 8th pint of Guinness they will be cutting up the atmosphere with a chainsaw.

[Cuntybaws]

10 minutes ago, Judas said:

Only needy cunts goto the pub on their own. The lonely cunts monitor conversations closer than the FBI. Be careful the lonely fucks will jump in a conversation and give their unwanted opinion. Then you will spend the rest of the evening trying to shake them off. Beware the paper reading, real ale drinking loner.

Billy Bleach

 

[Guest Judas]

14 minutes ago, Manky said:

Fucking bollocks. Drinking is for pleasure and not some bizarre ritual with rules and regulations for failed Masons you daft cunt.

Agreed but if you are enjoying a pint or two the last thing you need is a bloke in farah trousers and a cardigan butting in with the the merits of old helmet real ale when your trying to contact the scooter delivery cunt.

[Neil]

All pubs are full of cunts, full of twats paying nearly 4 fucking quid for a bottle that you can buy for 80p at the cash and carry,bogs that stink and 3rd rate pub swill from a fly ridden kitchen.Dog and Duck....fuck em

[Bubba C]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

 

And he ordered a half.

That's a "demi", you uncouth swine. 

[Guest Judas]

1 minute ago, neil298 said:

All pubs are full of cunts, full of twats paying nearly 4 fucking quid for a bottle that you can buy for 80p at the cash and carry,bogs that stink and 3rd rate pub swill from a fly ridden kitchen.Dog and Duck....fuck em

Nailed it, but there is something comforting about a proper pub, you know everyone cunt in there and the bar staff. You can run up a tab at a lock in and pay a week latet. Few and far between.

[Guest luke swarm]

4 minutes ago, neil298 said:

All pubs are full of cunts, full of twats paying nearly 4 fucking quid for a bottle that you can buy for 80p at the cash and carry,bogs that stink and 3rd rate pub swill from a fly ridden kitchen.Dog and Duck....fuck em

quite right Neil, why go out when you can get all the above benefits at home.....so the food at your gaff still not up to scratch then eh.

[Bubba C]

1 hour ago, Judas said:

Agreed, but only surpassed by cunts who go to the pub on their own...

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Have you ever noticed how these saps simply laugh a gap-toothed grin and expect the world to be their friend? And they have Velcro-fastening wallets that look out of place on any twat over the age of 12? 

They should all be made dead.