Guest Ollyboro Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 Fuck, I'm off to one of these whip round unions next month. And what a bag of cunt it's shaping up the be. It's my pussy whipped brother-in-law's. He wanted his stag do in Amsterdam; no fucking chance- Clay fucking pigeon shooting near Edinburgh instead. Her intransigence has extended to the guest list. Out of the 70 odd cunts invited, about 15 are from his side. Including our lass, I know precisely 9 of the cunts. Her mother and dying dad will be sat at the top table with the bride and groom. This leaves her sister and her three cuntish sons. None of whom she's spoken to in 5 years. This means we're sat at a table with 2 cunts of no fixed interest and 2 of the bride's mates. Now bearing in mind I intend to smoke my IQ in joints (fuck off), this presents a problem. The bride's mates are.........coppers, bizzies, 5-0, the filth, rozzers, pigs. And I'm expected to give the cunts a fucking donation for the privilege of sitting with them.. They'll be lucky if I donate a fucking shit in a box. Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 11 minutes ago, Ollyboro said: Fuck, I'm off to one of these whip round unions next month. And what a bag of cunt it's shaping up the be. It's my pussy whipped brother-in-law's. He wanted his stag do in Amsterdam; no fucking chance- Clay fucking pigeon shooting near Edinburgh instead. Her intransigence has extended to the guest list. Out of the 70 odd cunts invited, about 15 are from his side. Including our lass, I know precisely 9 of the cunts. Her mother and dying dad will be sat at the top table with the bride and groom. This leaves her sister and her three cuntish sons. None of whom she's spoken to in 5 years. This means we're sat at a table with 2 cunts of no fixed interest and 2 of the bride's mates. Now bearing in mind I intend to smoke my IQ in joints (fuck off), this presents a problem. The bride's mates are.........coppers, bizzies, 5-0, the filth, rozzers, pigs. And I'm expected to give the cunts a fucking donation for the privilege of sitting with them.. They'll be lucky if I donate a fucking shit in a box. Cunts. Well at least make a token gesture Olly.. shit in a box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 11 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Well at least make a token gesture Olly.. shit in a box. You turn up in Jockoland with a shit in a box, Eric, and somecunt'll have it deep-fried before you could say "Edward fucking Longshanks". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 15 minutes ago, Ollyboro said: You turn up in Jockoland with a shit in a box, Eric, and somecunt'll have it deep-fried before you could say "Edward fucking Longshanks". I have a Glaswegian friend who swears by deep fried pizza. The Cunts batter everything, including each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: I have a Glaswegian friend who swears by deep fried pizza. The Cunts batter everything, including each other. Don't knock it until you've fried it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 23 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Don't knock it until you've fried it. I've fried it, a slice of deep pan Hawaiian. Culinary gold, and keeps the cardio surgeons in work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted July 25, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 30 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Don't knock it until you've fried it. *groan* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 On 24/07/2017 at 8:47 AM, Neil said: As if a family wedding 'aint bad enough the cunts have had the cheek to put on the invite 'as we've lived together for two years we dont need any presents so cash towards our honeymoon would be great'......Fuck off you poncing cunts! Can't really get away with sending the cunts a tin opener then. Asking for money, fucking cheek. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 7 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: For the amount of debt he mentioned, he should avoid such travel adventures as it would undoubtedly be he who became the mule. It would also be poor Gongers detained at the gate getting his arse stretched in the searched and video recorded by punky for perverse entertainment purposes. Poor gong. Last time I travelled par avion I got searched by a female in sensible shoes. Not convinced she even worked there and I'm not joking either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 3 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: Poor gong. Last time I travelled par avion I got searched by a female in sensible shoes. Not convinced she even worked there and I'm not joking either Could it have been Roops stalking you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 15 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Could it have been Roops stalking you? Not unless she's an ugly dwarf lezza. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 7 hours ago, Gong Farmer said: That's a spiffing idea but I'd end up being lumbered with her unruly Irish sprogs that I despise with a passion. I ended up paying for 'their' visit to Holland after the sob story my missus swallowed about them not being able to come, all fucking five of them, because they'd have no spending money whilst they were here. Muggins here ended up funding that too to the tune of four hundred euros that got partially spent in one of the local coffee shops, a whole week with two shitfaced cunts getting stoned on my money whilst having to entertain their fucking 'orribel cunty kids with no table manners. Christ on a bike Gongers, I think you should invite them over and have an accident. Hiking across the live firing range in the Veluwe is a good shout Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 26, 2017 Report Share Posted July 26, 2017 Is this the welding beggars thread? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 26, 2017 Report Share Posted July 26, 2017 18 hours ago, nobgobbler said: Poor gong. Last time I travelled par avion I got searched by a female in sensible shoes. Not convinced she even worked there and I'm not joking either Probably best you didn't resist. The ordeal could have been more intense in an isolated interrogation room. Exam gloves and fisting butter, so I'm told. When punky is desperate for a ring stretch and Canal street is closed, you can find him there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted July 26, 2017 Report Share Posted July 26, 2017 1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said: Probably best you didn't resist. The ordeal could have been more intense in an isolated interrogation room. Exam gloves and fisting butter, so I'm told. When punky is desperate for a ring stretch and Canal street is closed, you can find him there. She'd have been in for a shock as I probably would have shit myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 26, 2017 Report Share Posted July 26, 2017 2 hours ago, nobgobbler said: She'd have been in for a shock as I probably would have shit myself. If nothing else, she'd not want to conduct any more "intimate" searches. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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