Decimus Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 These cunts can usually be encountered in all varieties of Wetherspoons around the country. Their respective wives are either in a Coventry Travelodge fucking an 18 year old they met off of the internet or dead under the patio. With the wives otherwise indisposed, "The lads" are excited to be allowed out on their first piss-up since 1998. The first hint of their appearance is a fug of Aramis descending upon the establishment, shortly followed by the door bursting open to reveal a crowd of overweight bald cunts wearing too-tight chequered Ben Sherman shirts and Doc Martens. After cracking a few racist jokes and banging on endlessly about how they'd still fuck Linda Lusardi, they then spend the next three hours drinking pints of Carling and pissing every five minutes. By nine pm their absent wives have finished fucking their lovers and have sent them shrill voicemails demanding they get home to put the kids to bed whilst they wash the cum out of their minges. One by one the fat cunts slink off, promising to do it all again in another 20 years and banging on about what a cracking night they've had. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 I take it you weren't invited to this decades' Norwich High School remedial class of '99 reunion in Great Yarmouth 'spoons then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 3 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: I take it you weren't invited to this decades' Norwich High School remedial class of '99 reunion in Great Yarmouth 'spoons then? I heard Drew and Neil were going so I fucked it off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 2 minutes ago, Decimus said: I heard Drew and Neil were going so I fucked it off. Drew seems like the type to be homeschooled to be honest. Asocial little freak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 Just now, Bill Stickers said: Drew seems like the type to be homeschooled to be honest. Asocial little freak. Drew was in "Yellow House", where the children who couldn't hold pens were exlusively schooled on early Windows 95 laptops. Shortly after going bald in year seven, his confidence took a knock and he never really recovered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Decimus said: Drew was in "Yellow House", where the children who couldn't hold pens were exlusively schooled on early Windows 95 laptops. Shortly after going bald in year seven, his confidence took a knock and he never really recovered. So that's where the bungalow and the alcoholism stem from. Makes sense now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 38 minutes ago, Decimus said: I heard Drew and Neil were going so I fucked it off. No I was busy with someones missus at a travelodge,hope she got home OK? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 3 minutes ago, Neil said: No I was busy with someones missus at a travelodge,hope she got home OK? No, you fat cunt, she didn't. Six broken ribs, a shattered pelvis and numerous contusions. Next time I suggest you don't go on top. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted September 20, 2017 Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 41 minutes ago, Decimus said: No, you fat cunt, she didn't. Six broken ribs, a shattered pelvis and numerous contusions. Next time I suggest you don't go on top. Agreed,I'll be in physio for fucking weeks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2017 10 minutes ago, Neil said: Agreed,I'll be in physio for fucking weeks By "physio" and "weeks" I assume that you mean "prison" and "years". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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