Guest Manky Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 I don't know if Standard Trunk Dialling is still used, but of it isn't that is only because something more fiendish has arrived. Those clever phones at any place of employment with more than a few staff. Call forward, call back, conference calls, follow-me capability, voice mail and fuck knows what else. More knobs, buttons and bells than Messrs Knobs, Buttons and Bells R'us.co.UK. Can I understand the fuckers? can I fuck. Can I use them? Can I fuck. They all need programming through a central master unit or computer. Far more clever tech than put men on the moon and all because some lazy, fat, twat is too bone idle to walk 10 yards to speak to some fucker in person. Skip the lot of the little plastic fuckers. Burn the facilities manager who dreamt the fuckers up. Bring back dial-up, 40/160 switchboards and rotary dialling. Show the geeks we will never surrender. Cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 I imagine you struggle with your out-of-office email rule too? As they say in the IT Helpdesk trade, "Error between chair and keyboard." Fucking carbon-layer cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 Clever nomination title, though, credit where it's due. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 7 minutes ago, Manky said: I don't know if Standard Trunk Dialling is still used, but of it isn't that is only because something more fiendish has arrived. Those clever phones at any place of employment with more than a few staff. Call forward, call back, conference calls, follow-me capability, voice mail and fuck knows what else. More knobs, buttons and bells than Messrs Knobs, Buttons and Bells R'us.co.UK. Can I understand the fuckers? can I fuck. Can I use them? Can I fuck. They all need programming through a central master unit or computer. Far more clever tech than put men on the moon and all because some lazy, fat, twat is too bone idle to walk 10 yards to speak to some fucker in person. Skip the lot of the little plastic fuckers. Burn the facilities manager who dreamt the fuckers up. Bring back dial-up, 40/160 switchboards and rotary dialling. Show the geeks we will never surrender. Cunts. good old Manky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 4 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: I imagine you struggle with your out-of-office email rule too? As they say in the IT Helpdesk trade, "Error between chair and keyboard." Fucking carbon-layer cunt. My communication skills are less than legendary by whatever means I try to communicate. Tech leaves me cold. Verbal leaves me cold. My time had been and gone when Laslo Biro invented the flush toilet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 5 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: I imagine you struggle with your out-of-office email rule too? As they say in the IT Helpdesk trade, "Error between chair and keyboard." Fucking carbon-layer cunt. I actually did the old "Is that the operator on the line?" gag when I was young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 5 minutes ago, ratcum said: good old Manky Quite right too that you are in awe. Churchillian nom I thought Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 5 minutes ago, ratcum said: I actually did the old "Is that the operator on the line?" gag when I was young. It's not easy being a phreak these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 Just now, Manky said: Quite right too that you are in awe. Churchillian nom I thought I'm in awe of vulval parasites as well you droog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 6 minutes ago, ratcum said: I'm in awe of vulval parasites as well you droog My guess is vulval parasites ambushed the sperm carrying the real Ratcum's DNA and your real name is Ratvulvalparasite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 My interest and tolerance for new technology peaked with the introduction of the "flip phone." Since then, it's all been a massive bucket of cunt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 (edited) 39 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: I imagine you struggle with your out-of-office email rule too? As they say in the IT Helpdesk trade, "Error between chair and keyboard." Fucking carbon-layer cunt. So when my "Roaming profile has been lost..." so I have to e-mail, then phone (see first phrase), the egg-stained vest brigade: where the fuck is it roaming to and WTF is it anyway? The irony of having to phone your own IT dept. , from the same building, rather than message or e-mail, is lost on the cunts. Not to mention the 9.30 am presentation with Power Point (no, don't jump to the obvious conclusion) that fails because that's the time that 'lecture theatres' are slated for 'upgrades' *. Bring back STD and semaphore and Morse...carrier pigeons were good ...smoke sig.... * 9am - 5pm is 'downtime' (ie wanking/gaming/sexting etc) down in the rancid arm pit of IT. A load of Ricks! Edited January 3, 2018 by Piston Unpuntuationalosity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 Those nice people at Virgin Broadband have a brilliant tech team, when I phoned them about my Broadband Tinternet not working, the kind young man who said his name was Alexander and spoke excellent English, he said he was from Crewe just a few miles outside Bangalore I think, anyway he advised me to go online and the solution would be there. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 8 minutes ago, Piston said: * 9am - 5pm is 'downtime' (ie wanking/gaming/sexting etc) down in the rancid arm pit of IT. A load of Ricks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 IT departments are the blaggers par excellence of the work world. Thick as fuck but use clever little Masonic like rituals to prevent anyone twigging they are a bunch of losers. (See the Lost Password ritual at the gathering of the nerds at Ballywalkbackwards in Kent) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 1 hour ago, Manky said: I don't know if Standard Trunk Dialling is still used, but of it isn't that is only because something more fiendish has arrived. Those clever phones at any place of employment with more than a few staff. Call forward, call back, conference calls, follow-me capability, voice mail and fuck knows what else. More knobs, buttons and bells than Messrs Knobs, Buttons and Bells R'us.co.UK. Can I understand the fuckers? can I fuck. Can I use them? Can I fuck. They all need programming through a central master unit or computer. Far more clever tech than put men on the moon and all because some lazy, fat, twat is too bone idle to walk 10 yards to speak to some fucker in person. Skip the lot of the little plastic fuckers. Burn the facilities manager who dreamt the fuckers up. Bring back dial-up, 40/160 switchboards and rotary dialling. Show the geeks we will never surrender. Cunts. Subscriber Trunk Dialling .. I remember Leonard Swindley asking for ABERSOCH 251 .. I bet you remember CLAPPERS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 8 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: Subscriber Trunk Dialling .. I remember Leonard Swindley asking for ABERSOCH 251 .. I bet you remember CLAPPERS. Too technical for me. I prefer to talk to thick cunts and I don't remember CLAPPERS but I do remember typing 5318008 into by Sinclair C4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 I didn't know you could get a STD from a phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 15 minutes ago, luke swarm said: Those nice people at Virgin Broadband have a brilliant tech team, when I phoned them about my Broadband Tinternet not working, the kind young man who said his name was Alexander and spoke excellent English, he said he was from Crewe just a few miles outside Bangalore I think, anyway he advised me to go online and the solution would be there. . Sucker! They clearly don't like you. My contact, Leonidas, turned out to be a Nigerian prince and holder of a winning lottery ticket too! I am awaiting a return upon my investment!! Bad luck Luke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 6 minutes ago, Manky said: Too technical for me. I prefer to talk to thick cunts and I don't remember CLAPPERS but I do remember typing 5318008 into by Sinclair C4 Way back...in Manc. we kids found out down the grapevine the number of a rent a woman house (brothel?) Dial wog 123 (sit down Rick, letters and numbers were part of a phone 'number' then) Phone answerer would say "porridge?" You reply "with plenty of sugar and milk" The resultant: when/what/where/ 'cos were beyond us since none of us was over 10. More fun than bangers through letterboxes! Ahh Happy Days PS Hey Manc was dat you on de phone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 2 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: Subscriber Trunk Dialling .. I remember Leonard Swindley asking for ABERSOCH 251 .. I bet you remember CLAPPERS. Do you remember "Darraby 85"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 4 minutes ago, Albert Ross said: Do you remember "Darraby 85"? No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 2 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: No. Because I spelt it wrong. I should have wrote "Darrowby 85". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 3 hours ago, Piston said: So when my "Roaming profile has been lost..." so I have to e-mail, then phone (see first phrase), the egg-stained vest brigade: where the fuck is it roaming to and WTF is it anyway? The irony of having to phone your own IT dept. , from the same building, rather than message or e-mail, is lost on the cunts. Not to mention the 9.30 am presentation with Power Point (no, don't jump to the obvious conclusion) that fails because that's the time that 'lecture theatres' are slated for 'upgrades' *. Bring back STD and semaphore and Morse...carrier pigeons were good ...smoke sig.... * 9am - 5pm is 'downtime' (ie wanking/gaming/sexting etc) down in the rancid arm pit of IT. A load of Ricks! 3 hours ago, Piston said: Sucker! They clearly don't like you. My contact, Leonidas, turned out to be a Nigerian prince and holder of a winning lottery ticket too! I am awaiting a return upon my investment!! Bad luck Luke. 2 hours ago, Piston said: Way back...in Manc. we kids found out down the grapevine the number of a rent a woman house (brothel?) Dial wog 123 (sit down Rick, letters and numbers were part of a phone 'number' then) Phone answerer would say "porridge?" You reply "with plenty of sugar and milk" The resultant: when/what/where/ 'cos were beyond us since none of us was over 10. More fun than bangers through letterboxes! Ahh Happy Days PS Hey Manc was dat you on de phone? You’re drunk. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 3 hours ago, Piston said: Way back...in Manc. we kids found out down the grapevine the number of a rent a woman house (brothel?) Dial wog 123 (sit down Rick, letters and numbers were part of a phone 'number' then) Phone answerer would say "porridge?" You reply "with plenty of sugar and milk" The resultant: when/what/where/ 'cos were beyond us since none of us was over 10. More fun than bangers through letterboxes! Ahh Happy Days PS Hey Manc was dat you on de phone? Could this be even possibly true? Well the past is a strange place so lets leave it be for the time being. You wont ever get the idea that this means I fell off the nearest tree though will you old chap? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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