The Hairy Bikers

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

This lot are on Planet Rock a lot, and they never demonstrate any discernible knowledge of music. Their cookery is marginally better, but they are egomaniacs who try and stamp their own identity on the dishes of others. Like Jamie Oliver, they often get a bit unstuck trying to square how 'real', rough and oiky they are with their tales of visiting Japanese tuna markets at 5:00 or cooking food having rode their motorcycles into the middle of the Atacama. For bikers they are soft as fuck as well.

The speccy one seems annoying and his head is oddly pear-shaped, which I find distracting. The other, bigger one seems like he has an angry side to him hidden away in there. I sometimes feel he is there under duress, and has to endure the speccy one's more obvious limelight-hogging antics as he is less adept at the whole matey television personality bit. I imagine the big one wants to punch the speccy one sometimes. 

They have Che Guevara tattoos on their arms, which is regrettable: 

 

 

Is this from The Wallsend players production of Spartacus? 

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

11 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

And you must be watching. Fucking sicko.

And listening.

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

36 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Run your cursor over my avatar and you'll see I've only been commenting for a little over a year. While this may not be long, it has however been more than enough time to encounter a posse of dedicated dickheads. You fall squarely into this category. The thing is, you are the most boring and deeply uninteresting of them all. Look at the general ambience of the feedback you attract, with your rating, and ask yourself this: should I immediately retire myself and do everyone (bar a senile, benign, saggy-titted corpse) a favour?   

You live in a Wigan dream world, get your head out of your arse and live properly.

[ratcum]

For the whole of February I'm going to call root vegetables by very rude names. First day at our local greengrocer will be fuckin hysterical I reckon. 

[Earl of Punkape]

4 minutes ago, ratcum said:

For the whole of February I'm going to call root vegetables by very rude names. First day at our local greengrocer will be fuckin hysterical I reckon. 

Beetrootuptheshitter..

Your starter..lol.

Fuck off.

[ratcum]

"Oi Nobby (our grocer), have you got any of those slightly pink cunts with flaky skin?"

"I'll fill my sack"

[ratcum]

Get Frau Rat to spread a bit of oil on these cocks, then pop them in her oven. Go nice with a good stuffing as well.

Fnarr

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

On 25/01/2018 at 9:01 PM, Bubba C said:

Good nom, anyone Northern needs eradicating, and this pair of giggling faggots are no exception. 

On the topic of annoying celebrity chefs, I raise you with Simon Peter Rimmer. Aptly named after his favourite past time of sticking his stupid tongue so far up Tim Baldy Lovejoy’s arsehole that he can floss his teeth from the inside. 

I want them both dead. 

Fuck off. 

Cooksucker

[Roadkill]

16 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

This lot are on Planet Rock a lot, and they never demonstrate any discernible knowledge of music. Their cookery is marginally better, but they are egomaniacs who try and stamp their own identity on the dishes of others. Like Jamie Oliver, they often get a bit unstuck trying to square how 'real', rough and oiky they are with their tales of visiting Japanese tuna markets at 5:00 or cooking food having rode their motorcycles into the middle of the Atacama. For bikers they are soft as fuck as well.

 

The only "hard" thing about bikers these days is their helmets. Learning to ride anything over 125cc these days costs a fucking fortune so it tends to be an activity for either spotty chavs doing delivery runs on Vespas under learning plates in order to save up for their first Corsa or rich dentist types who like to get together with the "chaps" on the weekend and sit around outside little gay boat restaurants and try to look intimidating. At least that's the case in my local area, here's a bunch of them meeting outside the Earl of Zetland in North Shields - this one is of a group meeting, but there's always about twelve of the sad fuckers on Harley Davidsons sitting in the car park and revving their engines. 

The most intimidating thing I've ever seen any of them do is bring a young woman learner driver to tears by riding around her instructor's car in formation as she was driving down the road to use the car park for reverse parking practice. Once she stopped and the instructor got out - a skinny little white haired old man - they all took off back down the road. Are these those mythical "tough" bikers you're comparing the Hairy Poofters to?

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

That lot look more like a group of homosexualist hobby riders than bikers; the type that would claim to be a member of several exclusive golf clubs and spout catholic shite day and night.  

[ratcum]

29 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

That lot look more like a group of homosexualist hobby riders than bikers; the type that would claim to be a member of several exclusive golf clubs and spout catholic shite day and night.  

A spout of catholic anything is fuckery of the highest order Wizzle

I'm calling sprouts 'teeny nipples' for the whole of February you know

[ratcum]

4 hours ago, Roadkill said:

The only "hard" thing about bikers these days is their helmets.

 

They might have keratinised genital warts Killer. 

Our very own Jewdy rides a Hardly Jim Davidson

[Roadkill]

45 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

That lot look more like a group of homosexualist hobby riders than bikers; the type that would claim to be a member of several exclusive golf clubs and spout catholic shite day and night.  

And just look at that fucking ginger in their midst. Letting him walk around without a fucking leash and everything like he's a real person. Disgraceful.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

9 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Are these those mythical "tough" bikers you're comparing the Hairy Poofters to?

Nah. Like you I don't think tough bikers exist. That lot you posted look like a bunch of embolisms on wheels. The very limited few I've met just seem to be emotionally crippled men with ponytails. Giant try-hard losers living on past glories. 

 

Doesn't somebody on here ride a motorised bicycle? Perhaps somebody can jog my memory. 

[ratcum]

Just now, Tata Steely Dan said:

Nah. Like you I don't think tough bikers exist. That lot you posted look like a bunch of embolisms on wheels. The very limited few I've met just seem to be emotionally crippled men with ponytails. Giant try-hard losers living on past glories. 

 

Doesn't somebody on here ride a motorised bicycle? Perhaps somebody can jog my memory. 

Oh the Grand old Duke of York,

He had ten thousand men,

Which is a lot of bumming

when you come to think about it

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

1 minute ago, ratcum said:

Oh the Grand old Duke of York,

He had ten thousand men,

Which is a lot of bumming

when you come to think about it

Suitably cryptic. 

[Rick_B]

Apart from the real hardcase Hell's Angels, bikers were never really that scary. For years we had a "biker's pub" in town and although some of them may have looked a bit hard it was one of the safest pub to be in, especially at the weekend. 

[Guest Lady Penelope]

On 27/01/2018 at 12:56 PM, Roadkill said:

The only "hard" thing about bikers these days is their helmets. Learning to ride anything over 125cc these days costs a fucking fortune so it tends to be an activity for either spotty chavs doing delivery runs on Vespas under learning plates in order to save up for their first Corsa or rich dentist types who like to get together with the "chaps" on the weekend and sit around outside little gay boat restaurants and try to look intimidating. At least that's the case in my local area, here's a bunch of them meeting outside the Earl of Zetland in North Shields - this one is of a group meeting, but there's always about twelve of the sad fuckers on Harley Davidsons sitting in the car park and revving their engines. 

The most intimidating thing I've ever seen any of them do is bring a young woman learner driver to tears by riding around her instructor's car in formation as she was driving down the road to use the car park for reverse parking practice. Once she stopped and the instructor got out - a skinny little white haired old man - they all took off back down the road. Are these those mythical "tough" bikers you're comparing the Hairy Poofters to?

Is that @judgetwi centre left with his back to the wall?

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

On 25/01/2018 at 10:06 PM, Ape said:

Right, that’s the last fucking straw. Please explain why the FUCK you insist on leaving a space before question marks? What the fuck kind of education did you receive, if any? You utter fucking wanker.

Wading in here like some sort of cu nt, fucking brass neck piece of shit jelly spined fucker, leaving gaps all over the shop like some kind of council road worker faggot.

Job half done lazy slag.

@Frank, your time is over. Depart.