Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 We sent a man to the moon in 1969 using a 16-bit computer, and fired a fucking Tesla into space just recently. Most of the developing world now has full 4G mobile coverage. Mankind has constructed a giant hadron collider to study subatomic particles to ascertain the very foundations of our universe. But for various reasons, most of southern Europe’s islands, as well as much of the rural mainland still haven’t managed to crack basic sanitation. Specifically, they haven’t mastered it to a level where you can flush your shit riddled bog roll round the u-bend. What this inevitably leads to is a dire state of affairs; every restaurant toilet has a pile of continental arse gravy festering in the corner, and any public facility that children use is a total warzone that can cause severe PTSD. After a week of the Mediterranean diet, I’m dropping some seriously oily and dense Yule logs at a regular pace. The kind that get wedged in your arse a bit, so you have to quite literally wipe them out like a stonemason chipping away at a corner stone. An utterly intolerable situation. I might be anti-Brexit, but I certainly think they should be looking to retroactively expel any country that partakes in such utterly fucking barbarous behaviour. Like any self respecting Brit, I’ve been sneaking into the girlfriend’s parents en-suite at the villa and dropping my guts and flushing the bog roll, so that they get lumped with the repair bill for the broken piping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 The definition of insanity... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 Malta GC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 2 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Like any self respecting Brit, I’ve been sneaking into the girlfriend’s parents en-suite at the villa and dropping my guts and flushing the bog roll, so that they get lumped with the repair bill for the broken piping. You've got a girlfriend, what's his name?. If you actually have any self respect, I suggest you return 'her' to Rampton Hospital tout suite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 3 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: You've got a girlfriend, what's his name?. If you actually have any self respect, I suggest you return 'her' to Rampton Hospital tout suite. Withers you fucking disgusting little creature. You are salty about this nom because you don’t even have running water in your filthy, ramshackle gite. Not to worry though, the cancer has riddled so much of your body you’ve had several ribs and internal organs removed. This gives you the flexibility to “do a Marilyn Manson” and suck your little maggot, as well as clean your own arsehole with your tongue like a Parisian street dog in the absence of toilet paper. Vivre. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 4 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said: We sent a man to the moon in 1969 using a 16-bit computer, and fired a fucking Tesla into space just recently. Most of the developing world now has full 4G mobile coverage. Mankind has constructed a giant hadron collider to study subatomic particles to ascertain the very foundations of our universe. But for various reasons, most of southern Europe’s islands, as well as much of the rural mainland still haven’t managed to crack basic sanitation. Specifically, they haven’t mastered it to a level where you can flush your shit riddled bog roll round the u-bend. What this inevitably leads to is a dire state of affairs; every restaurant toilet has a pile of continental arse gravy festering in the corner, and any public facility that children use is a total warzone that can cause severe PTSD. After a week of the Mediterranean diet, I’m dropping some seriously oily and dense Yule logs at a regular pace. The kind that get wedged in your arse a bit, so you have to quite literally wipe them out like a stonemason chipping away at a corner stone. An utterly intolerable situation. I might be anti-Brexit, but I certainly think they should be looking to retroactively expel any country that partakes in such utterly fucking barbarous behaviour. Like any self respecting Brit, I’ve been sneaking into the girlfriend’s parents en-suite at the villa and dropping my guts and flushing the bog roll, so that they get lumped with the repair bill for the broken piping. Funny for a bit, then died on its arse. Last paragraph killed it dead. Good to see you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 2 minutes ago, Frank said: Funny for a bit, then died on its arse. Last paragraph killed it dead. Good to see you. Duly noted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 1 hour ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Duly noted. Be honest Bill, Frank has got a point here. All that effort, and just one 'like' from a drunken Australian. I reckon you are finished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 1 minute ago, Witheredscrote said: Be honest Bill, Frank has got a point here. All that effort, and just one 'like' from a drunken Australian. I reckon you are finished. What’s popular on the corner ebbs and flows like the sea Withers. I’m happy to have my reputation shift with the tide, whilst maintaining nominations of integrity and refinement. The other option is to be an odious little demagogue and appeal to the flavour of the month, which rather dishearteningly right now still seems to be Eric’s tragic and overt racism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 6 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Be honest Bill, Frank has got a point here. All that effort, and just one 'like' from a drunken Australian. I reckon you are finished. I thought that the Australian was dead? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 2 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: What’s popular on the corner ebbs and flows like the sea Withers. I’m happy to have my reputation shift with the tide, whilst maintaining nominations of integrity and refinement. The other option is to be an odious little demagogue and appeal to the flavour of the month, which rather dishearteningly right now still seems to be Eric’s tragic and overt racism. Forget this shit. Frank has messaged me. He and Ming are making a blockbuster video here in France. He wants me involved. Apparently it will have Decs, Ape, and Luke seething with jealousy. He wants you in Bill. Think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 1 minute ago, Witheredscrote said: Forget this shit. Frank has messaged me. He and Ming are making a blockbuster video here in France. He wants me involved. Apparently it will have Decs, Ape, and Luke seething with jealousy. He wants you in Bill. Think about it. It’s a snuff film Withers, don’t get involved. The last thing any of us want to see is grainy footage of your last moments: you crying and getting pegged by an asian prostitute, while Frank sits in the corner, tugging one out, eating shitty toilet paper out your bin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Forget this shit. Frank has messaged me. He and Ming are making a blockbuster video here in France. He wants me involved. Apparently it will have Decs, Ape, and Luke seething with jealousy. He wants you in Bill. Think about it. I hope it turns out to be a snuff movie, and we get to see Frank cut your stupid French head off and shove a baguette up your arse. Edited May 26, 2018 by Ape Bollocks - Bill had the same thought.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 Ape and Bubba both have a B-Tec from Glamorgan in Audio Visual enginneeing so they’ll be operating the VHS camcorder by the way. I can only assume decimus is the fluffer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 1 minute ago, Ape said: I hope it turns out to be a snuff movie, and we get to see Frank cut your stupid French head off and shove a baguette up your arse. Try to say something original PLEASE..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 5 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: It’s a snuff film Withers, don’t get involved. The last thing any of us want to see is grainy footage of your last moments: you crying and getting pegged by an asian prostitute, while Frank sits in the corner, tugging one out, eating shitty toilet paper out your bin. It takes a gay man to give the corner some balance. This household loves you Bill. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 Just now, Frank said: It takes a gay man to give the corner some balance. This household loves you Bill. Please frank, stay off my side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 6 minutes ago, Ape said: I hope it turns out to be a snuff movie, and we get to see Frank cut your stupid French head off and shove a baguette up your arse. It's irrelevant if you had the same thought. Your timing is always out and you're a fucking idiot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 9 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Please frank, stay off my side. Call me by your name, and I'll call you by mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 42 minutes ago, Frank said: It's irrelevant if you had the same thought. Your timing is always out and you're a fucking idiot. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 7 minutes ago, Ape said: Fuck off. I think you’re great ape. A great fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said: Be honest Bill, Frank has got a point here. All that effort, and just one 'like' from a drunken Australian. I reckon you are finished. Not drunk, you goose frotting surrender monkey. I just thought the nom was well worded and grammatically correct, that’s all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 1 hour ago, Lady Penelope of Crewe said: I thought that the Australian was dead? This thread has wit, humour and relevance. Fuck right off, you don’t belong here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 1 minute ago, southerncunt said: This thread has wit, humour and relevance. Fuck right off, you don’t belong here. I found it wanting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted May 26, 2018 Report Share Posted May 26, 2018 42 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: I think you’re great ape. A great fucking idiot. Brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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