Roadkill Posted December 2, 2018 Report Share Posted December 2, 2018 I decided to visit my local library the other day to see if I could get some books on digital art and see if I could improve my already fantastic skills. The last time I ever stepped foot in a library was around 2009 - and I still had books out from that time under my name when I went to renew my card, so after a long, drawling and frustratingly repetitive lecture from the 80 year old Alzheimer's patient being propped up by the main desk and a £15 fine I was finally allowed into the fucking place. Modern Libraries have always been a mess, but they'd really went all out during my years of absence. Some cunt in the council has decided to implement a small gift shop with the tacky merchandise you've all undoubtedly seen have you ever been unfortunate to visit my neck of the woods; Geordie Language manuals, History of North Tyneside books filled with pictures of miserable looking people in flat caps standing in the middle of dreary looking streets, black and white striped mugs with terms like "wey aye man" and "gannin' to Toon" stencilled across them - generic, overpriced shite locked away in flimsy glass cabinets as if anyone would ever feel the need to nick any of it in the first place. There's also a cafe (located worryingly close to the toilets) that serves packaged sandwiches and canned drinks from a small fridge that doesn't seem to be plugged in, bought fresh from the Co-Op down the road in the morning and sold at what must be at least a 30% mark up, tables filled up with rows of shitty old computers and the questionable people who still use such public services in this day and age and a vast, depressing children's section dominating the rest of the first floor, decorated by colourful rugs and brightly painted shelves all covered by a thick layer of dust because no-one ever uses it (probably because of its proximity to the public-computer weirdos). Oh yes, and if you squint really hard and tilt your head a certain way you might be able to find the tiny, four-shelf collection of ten-year old fiction dumped in the middle of it all. Upstairs is hardly any better - that's where the non-fiction and reference books are kept, but first you have to pass through the hostile queues of Council tenants who always think you're trying to cut to the front because the main Council offices are right at the top of the stairs - and its obviously a very rare occurrence that someone is there to use the tiny corner of the space utilised as an actual library these days. If you make it through the Housing Benifit Horde without getting shivved in the kidneys you're rewarded with a dull little collection of books - dominated by cooking books for some fucking reason - on some stupid art deco shelves designed by some cunt that had a fetish for curves - meaning you only ever see about ten books before you have to go around a fucking corner. Apparently the staff have decided to shelve these books in no particular order (maybe they're just intimidated by the jealous and hostile glances by the illiterate Horde whenever they go upstairs) and anything on offer is all just as outdated as the Fiction section downstairs (they still have a Windows XP help manual on a sad little display stand). Suffice to say, I didn't find anything helpful in the fucking place, but I did take out some DVD's that amount roughly to the £15 fine I had to pay which I have absolutely no intention of returning to the cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 2, 2018 Report Share Posted December 2, 2018 My favourite number is Fahrenheit 451. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 2, 2018 Report Share Posted December 2, 2018 21 minutes ago, Roadkill said: I decided to visit my local library the other day to see if I could get some books on digital art and see if I could improve my already fantastic skills. The last time I ever stepped foot in a library was around 2009 - and I still had books out from that time under my name when I went to renew my card, so after a long, drawling and frustratingly repetitive lecture from the 80 year old Alzheimer's patient being propped up by the main desk and a £15 fine I was finally allowed into the fucking place. Modern Libraries have always been a mess, but they'd really went all out during my years of absence. Some cunt in the council has decided to implement a small gift shop with the tacky merchandise you've all undoubtedly seen have you ever been unfortunate to visit my neck of the woods; Geordie Language manuals, History of North Tyneside books filled with pictures of miserable looking people in flat caps standing in the middle of dreary looking streets, black and white striped mugs with terms like "wey aye man" and "gannin' to Toon" stencilled across them - generic, overpriced shite locked away in flimsy glass cabinets as if anyone would ever feel the need to nick any of it in the first place. There's also a cafe (located worryingly close to the toilets) that serves packaged sandwiches and canned drinks from a small fridge that doesn't seem to be plugged in, bought fresh from the Co-Op down the road in the morning and sold at what must be at least a 30% mark up, tables filled up with rows of shitty old computers and the questionable people who still use such public services in this day and age and a vast, depressing children's section dominating the rest of the first floor, decorated by colourful rugs and brightly painted shelves all covered by a thick layer of dust because no-one ever uses it (probably because of its proximity to the public-computer weirdos). Oh yes, and if you squint really hard and tilt your head a certain way you might be able to find the tiny, four-shelf collection of ten-year old fiction dumped in the middle of it all. Upstairs is hardly any better - that's where the non-fiction and reference books are kept, but first you have to pass through the hostile queues of Council tenants who always think you're trying to cut to the front because the main Council offices are right at the top of the stairs - and its obviously a very rare occurrence that someone is there to use the tiny corner of the space utilised as an actual library these days. If you make it through the Housing Benifit Horde without getting shivved in the kidneys you're rewarded with a dull little collection of books - dominated by cooking books for some fucking reason - on some stupid art deco shelves designed by some cunt that had a fetish for curves - meaning you only ever see about ten books before you have to go around a fucking corner. Apparently the staff have decided to shelve these books in no particular order (maybe they're just intimidated by the jealous and hostile glances by the illiterate Horde whenever they go upstairs) and anything on offer is all just as outdated as the Fiction section downstairs (they still have a Windows XP help manual on a sad little display stand). Suffice to say, I didn't find anything helpful in the fucking place, but I did take out some DVD's that amount roughly to the £15 fine I had to pay which I have absolutely no intention of returning to the cunts. 'Did ye call wor library a queah?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 2, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2018 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: 'Did ye call wor library a queah?' Aye a did! In al dee it again ye fuckin little doylum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 2, 2018 Report Share Posted December 2, 2018 5 minutes ago, Roadkill said: Aye a did! In al dee it again ye fuckin little doylum! Oota likes, like. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 2, 2018 Report Share Posted December 2, 2018 34 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: My favourite number is Fahrenheit 451. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted December 2, 2018 Report Share Posted December 2, 2018 2 hours ago, Roadkill said: I decided to visit my local library the other day to see if I could get some books on digital art and see if I could improve my already fantastic skills. The last time I ever stepped foot in a library was around 2009 - and I still had books out from that time under my name when I went to renew my card, so after a long, drawling and frustratingly repetitive lecture from the 80 year old Alzheimer's patient being propped up by the main desk and a £15 fine I was finally allowed into the fucking place. Modern Libraries have always been a mess, but they'd really went all out during my years of absence. Some cunt in the council has decided to implement a small gift shop with the tacky merchandise you've all undoubtedly seen have you ever been unfortunate to visit my neck of the woods; Geordie Language manuals, History of North Tyneside books filled with pictures of miserable looking people in flat caps standing in the middle of dreary looking streets, black and white striped mugs with terms like "wey aye man" and "gannin' to Toon" stencilled across them - generic, overpriced shite locked away in flimsy glass cabinets as if anyone would ever feel the need to nick any of it in the first place. There's also a cafe (located worryingly close to the toilets) that serves packaged sandwiches and canned drinks from a small fridge that doesn't seem to be plugged in, bought fresh from the Co-Op down the road in the morning and sold at what must be at least a 30% mark up, tables filled up with rows of shitty old computers and the questionable people who still use such public services in this day and age and a vast, depressing children's section dominating the rest of the first floor, decorated by colourful rugs and brightly painted shelves all covered by a thick layer of dust because no-one ever uses it (probably because of its proximity to the public-computer weirdos). Oh yes, and if you squint really hard and tilt your head a certain way you might be able to find the tiny, four-shelf collection of ten-year old fiction dumped in the middle of it all. Upstairs is hardly any better - that's where the non-fiction and reference books are kept, but first you have to pass through the hostile queues of Council tenants who always think you're trying to cut to the front because the main Council offices are right at the top of the stairs - and its obviously a very rare occurrence that someone is there to use the tiny corner of the space utilised as an actual library these days. If you make it through the Housing Benifit Horde without getting shivved in the kidneys you're rewarded with a dull little collection of books - dominated by cooking books for some fucking reason - on some stupid art deco shelves designed by some cunt that had a fetish for curves - meaning you only ever see about ten books before you have to go around a fucking corner. Apparently the staff have decided to shelve these books in no particular order (maybe they're just intimidated by the jealous and hostile glances by the illiterate Horde whenever they go upstairs) and anything on offer is all just as outdated as the Fiction section downstairs (they still have a Windows XP help manual on a sad little display stand). Suffice to say, I didn't find anything helpful in the fucking place, but I did take out some DVD's that amount roughly to the £15 fine I had to pay which I have absolutely no intention of returning to the cunts. All public libraries are out dated , useless waste of space, that serve no further function in society. You went in search of books on Digital Art. How ironic you didn’t use the interweb to find them. You are a fucking cunt. Shut all libraries and turn them into Islamic fundamentalist centres. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 Libraries are like the Football Pools, Premium Bonds and the shipping forecast. They exist only to give a sense of permanence to the elderly and the conservative. Now put a Vera Lynn record on the gramophone, check to see if there's a George Raft movie at the local cinema and keep intoning the phrase 'There'll always be an England' until your roadie comes round to take you for your slash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Erroreptile404 Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 17 hours ago, Iam Ape said: I'm surprised an old arse gravy drinking queer like you has even heard of The Prodigy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Erroreptile404 Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 16 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: All public libraries are out dated , useless waste of space, that serve no further function in society. Much like Gaype and that australian wanker lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kunte Kinte Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 18 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: 'Did ye call wor library a queah?' A nomination in two or more volumes? Get you Ducky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 1 hour ago, EreptileDysfunction said: I'm surprised an old arse gravy drinking queer like you has even heard of The Prodigy. 1 hour ago, EreptileDysfunction said: Much like Gaype and that australian wanker lol. Someone is clearly very rattled. Rattled, and very, very thick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 1 minute ago, Iam Ape said: Someone is clearly very rattled. Rattled, and very, very thick. I think he's well past rattled, Ape. His brains are more scrambled than Rosemary Kennedy on a fucking roller coaster. Have a look at his latest outburst on the School Bullying thread for a good laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said: Libraries are like the Football Pools, Premium Bonds and the shipping forecast. They exist only to give a sense of permanence to the elderly and the conservative. Now put a Vera Lynn record on the gramophone, check to see if there's a George Raft movie at the local cinema and keep intoning the phrase 'There'll always be an England' until your roadie comes round to take you for your slash. I can't say I'm comfortable with the thought of a world without them. Libraries taught more than how to search for books and research materials, when a proper librarian was in place and was even remotely competent in her job, she could scare the fuck out of undisciplined little gobshites, teach them how to care for books of age, how to find and use an indoor fucking voice, and how to sit in one place for more than five minutes. You never saw some vile piece of filth crying they had ADHD and downing a bottle of Ritalin, that little cunt was usually in play yard getting a right fucking kicking! It isn't libraries that need conversion or demolition, it's the fucking cunts who can't parent decent human children to behave just long enough to read a book and expand their vocabulary beyond catch phrases like "you'll never get into my club," or "I used to be the best on here." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 11 minutes ago, Roadkill said: I think he's well past rattled, Ape. His brains are more scrambled than Rosemary Kennedy on a fucking roller coaster. Have a look at his latest outburst on the School Bullying thread for a good laugh. Fucking hell - he’s out of his tiny mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 10 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: I can't say I'm comfortable with the thought of a world without them. Libraries taught more than how to search for books and research materials, when a proper librarian was in place and was even remotely competent in her job, she could scare the fuck out of undisciplined little gobshites, teach them how to care for books of age, how to find and use an indoor fucking voice, and how to sit in one place for more than five minutes. You never saw some vile piece of filth crying they had ADHD and downing a bottle of Ritalin, that little cunt was usually in play yard getting a right fucking kicking! It isn't libraries that need conversion or demolition, it's the fucking cunts who can't parent decent human children to behave just long enough to read a book and expand their vocabulary beyond catch phrases like "you'll never get into my club," or "I used to be the best on here." Did Eavens send you the DWF montage? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 6 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: I can't say I'm comfortable with the thought of a world without them. Libraries taught more than how to search for books and research materials, when a proper librarian was in place and was even remotely competent in her job, she could scare the fuck out of undisciplined little gobshites, teach them how to care for books of age, how to find and use an indoor fucking voice, and how to sit in one place for more than five minutes. You never saw some vile piece of filth crying they had ADHD and downing a bottle of Ritalin, that little cunt was usually in play yard getting a right fucking kicking! It isn't libraries that need conversion or demolition, it's the fucking cunts who can't parent decent human children to behave just long enough to read a book and expand their vocabulary beyond catch phrases like "you'll never get into my club," or "I used to be the best on here." Their funding is non-existent these days, their larger buildings are all sought after by businesses or councils who could actually provide an income, and their staff hiring policies are a complete joke. Cunts even considered giving me a job after I'd finished work experience in one in '08. The downfall began when they started giving up more and more floor space for computers in the early 2000's - more and more of the unique reference material was moved out so cunts could use Wikipedia instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: Did Eavens send you the DWF montage? He did! I wish I hadn't just sipped my coffee, the computer screen is still drying. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 4 minutes ago, Iam Ape said: Fucking hell - he’s out of his tiny mind. Careful now. He'll have screenshots of that posted to every mental health company on the planet by tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 Just now, Wizardsleeve said: He did! I wish I hadn't just sipped my coffee, the computer screen is still drying. LOL Good isn't it? My sides are split! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 1 minute ago, Roadkill said: Their funding is non-existent these days, their larger buildings are all sought after by businesses or councils who could actually provide an income, and their staff hiring policies are a complete joke. Cunts even considered giving me a job after I'd finished work experience in one in '08. The downfall began when they started giving up more and more floor space for computers in the early 2000's - more and more of the unique reference material was moved out so cunts could use Wikipedia instead. Computers were originally intended to speed up the search process. Having the card catalogue ten deep in cunts could be cut down to a quick author or topic search query, and the cunts could fuck off to the shelves. Then they started allowing "underprivileged" no parents at home types access to sit and watch youtube and Xhamster and it was tits up! The old green monochromatic DOS based screen blinking "INVALID SEARCH TERM" taught patience....not having a chair to allow their ever expanding arses to take root to made them stay on their feet and move about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 6 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: Good isn't it? My sides are split! There ought to be knighthood for it! Provide somebody who can handle the sword and whose hands don't shake to point of lopping off an ear performs the ceremony! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Couldn't give a shit Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 23 minutes ago, Iam Ape said: Someone is clearly very rattled. Rattled, and very, very thick. Get the fuck off this thread. You can't even read you spacker. I'm sick to death of seeing ramblings translated by your support worker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 4 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Computers were originally intended to speed up the search process. Having the card catalogue ten deep in cunts could be cut down to a quick author or topic search query, and the cunts could fuck off to the shelves. Then they started allowing "underprivileged" no parents at home types access to sit and watch youtube and Xhamster and it was tits up! The old green monochromatic DOS based screen blinking "INVALID SEARCH TERM" taught patience....not having a chair to allow their ever expanding arses to take root to made them stay on their feet and move about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Couldn't give a shit Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 10 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: He did! I wish I hadn't just sipped my coffee, the computer screen is still drying. LOL Why? Did you sneeze after felching next door's cat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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