Celebrity virus attention seeking

[King Billy]

32 minutes ago, stoolstabber5000 said:

More Mario Balotelli and Gino D'Acampo in your case.

 

Have you made many new friends today?

[Penny Farthing]

The ones I hate are the ones who are dying of it just to get their name on the telly or in the daily mail.

[Trucking Funt]

28 minutes ago, stoolstabber5000 said:

More Mario Balotelli and Gino D'Acampo in your case.

 

Haven't you northern inbred cunts got anything better to do like opening your UNICEF aid parcels? Must be tough up there with all the food banks empty.

[Eric Cuntman]

2 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

The ones I hate are the ones who are dying of it just to get their name on the telly or in the daily mail.

Blown out of all proportion. Death isn't the handicap it used to be. That crotch grabbing baboon Tupac sells more records now that he's dead. And that fat cunt that shot him.

[Trucking Funt]

20 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

A lady wouldn't expect anything less. 

I'd make her brush her teeth after though, her curry gob might scorch my bell end.

[Penny Farthing]

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Blown out of all proportion. Death isn't the handicap it used to be. That crotch grabbing baboon Tupac sells more records now that he's dead. And that fat cunt that shot him.

A bit off topic I know but couldn't they use all those grounded 737MAXs as mortuaries  and then when they are full up  simply let the planes take off under auto control to crash land and cremate the bodies?

[King Billy]

3 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

A bit off topic I know but couldn't they use all those grounded 737MAXs as mortuaries  and then when they are full up  simply let the planes take off under auto control to crash land and cremate the bodies?

Set the autopilots for Peking and make sure there’s just enough fuel in them to run out directly over little Fatty Pings palace while he’s having his tea.

[Neil]

5 hours ago, Trucking Funt said:

She don't do much for me these days with regard to assisting with those Sarson's moments as her complexion reminds me of a tanned leather sofa I threw out about 20 years back but I'd give her daughter one.

Has her daughter got a daughter?

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

A lady wouldn't expect anything less. 

Is that what you've been led to believe Gyps? Surely a bottle of Old Nick would suffice.

[Eric Cuntman]

31 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Set the autopilots for Peking and make sure there’s just enough fuel in them to run out directly over little Fatty Pings palace while he’s having his tea.

There has long been a theory that if every Chinese person jumped off a chair simultaneously, it could cause earthquakes around the world... I've thought about it a bit and come up with a solution.

If they all get a length of rope, tie one end to a ceiling joist and loop the other end round their neck, they could all jump off a chair without risking seismic catastrophe!

I'm fucking brilliant at science.

[camberwell gypsy]

57 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

A bit off topic I know but couldn't they use all those grounded 737MAXs as mortuaries  and then when they are full up  simply let the planes take off under auto control to crash land and cremate the bodies?

I wouldn't fancy paddling in the sea at Bognor and treading on something sharp only to find it's some poor cunt's ischeum, that's washed up. 

[Guest Stoolstabber500]

1 hour ago, Trucking Funt said:

Haven't you northern inbred cunts got anything better to do like opening your UNICEF aid parcels? Must be tough up there with all the food banks empty.

Says the south English inbred cunts who all live in sardine tin sized council houses in some poverty stricken dump in London or some other shithole infested with arabs and probably earns £5'000 a year LOL, you jellied eel eating cunts are a joke and the south is a fucking slum or did you miss that pic of the north west I posted you knuckle dragging EDL gammon head piece of fucking shit?

[Guest Stoolstabber500]

1 hour ago, Trucking Funt said:

I'd make her brush her teeth after though, her curry gob might scorch my bell end.

You don't have a bellend you dickless, chinless, cockney fucking faggot.

[camberwell gypsy]

22 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Is that what you've been led to believe Gyps? Surely a bottle of Old Nick would suffice.

I prefer the cream of sum-yunguy. 

[Trucking Funt]

43 minutes ago, stoolstabber5000 said:

Says the south English inbred cunts who all live in sardine tin sized council houses in some poverty stricken dump in London or some other shithole infested with arabs and probably earns £5'000 a year LOL, you jellied eel eating cunts are a joke and the south is a fucking slum or did you miss that pic of the north west I posted you knuckle dragging EDL gammon head piece of fucking shit?

The pictures on Sky news earlier of malnourished northerners raiding bins because they are too unhygienic to be admitted to supermarkets even for 10 minutes to buy the reduced moldy bread at the end of the day were truly shocking. Word has it that its not the chinky plague responsible for most of the deaths up there but an outbreak of typhus that's being covered up by the government. If you dirty bastards at least had the self respect to have a shower more than once a quarter you might learn how to live like human beings. 

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

There has long been a theory that if every Chinese person jumped off a chair simultaneously, it could cause earthquakes around the world... I've thought about it a bit and come up with a solution.

If they all get a length of rope, tie one end to a ceiling joist and loop the other end round their neck, they could all jump off a chair without risking seismic catastrophe!

I'm fucking brilliant at science.

Don't they all live in paper houses? Or is that the Japs? 

[camberwell gypsy]

20 minutes ago, Trucking Funt said:

The pictures on Sky news earlier of malnourished northerners raiding bins because they are too unhygienic to be admitted to supermarkets even for 10 minutes to buy the reduced moldy bread at the end of the day were truly shocking. Word has it that its not the chinky plague responsible for most of the deaths up there but an outbreak of typhus that's being covered up by the government. If you dirty bastards at least had the self respect to have a shower more than once a quarter you might learn how to live like human beings. 

Don't worry.  I see Sir Lenford was on the box the other night waving that fucking one eyed teddy about saying there's going to be a special Children in Need coming soon. So remember, just a fiver of your money will keep a Northerner in Gregg's pasties for 3 days. 

[King Billy]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

There has long been a theory that if every Chinese person jumped off a chair simultaneously, it could cause earthquakes around the world... I've thought about it a bit and come up with a solution.

If they all get a length of rope, tie one end to a ceiling joist and loop the other end round their neck, they could all jump off a chair without risking seismic catastrophe!

I'm fucking brilliant at science.

If half of them lay on the floor and the other half jumped off chairs with 300 ft legs onto them, then the money saved from not buying 650 million ropes would come in very handy for me at the moment.

Science is fucking easy. I’ve made it pay at my first attempt.

[King Billy]

40 minutes ago, Trucking Funt said:

The pictures on Sky news earlier of malnourished northerners raiding bins because they are too unhygienic to be admitted to supermarkets even for 10 minutes to buy the reduced moldy bread at the end of the day were truly shocking. Word has it that its not the chinky plague responsible for most of the deaths up there but an outbreak of typhus that's being covered up by the government. If you dirty bastards at least had the self respect to have a shower more than once a quarter you might learn how to live like human beings. 

I thought that was old footage of the Great Depression. Now you’ve made me depressed.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

47 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Don't they all live in paper houses? Or is that the Japs? 

The Japs used to have an origami house making factory Gyps, but its folded. By all accounts there was too much paperwork involved, but my investigations are still unfolding. 

[camberwell gypsy]

3 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

The Japs used to have an origami house making factory Gyps, but its folded. By all accounts there was too much paperwork involved, but my investigations are still unfolding. 

I gave away my old vaccuum cleaner today. It was just gathering dust. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

4 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I gave away my old vaccuum cleaner today. It was just gathering dust. 

That may be the case, but the advantages of origami are two-fold. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

On 30/03/2020 at 17:56, Eric Cuntman said:

The usual celebrity suspects are falling over each other to announce that they are 'showing symptoms' and self-isolating. Tom Hanks, Idris Elbow, and most ridiculously, Saint Greta, the moon faced Spack-child.

I doubt very much that any of them have it. What they are doing is keeping themselves in the public eye, having not had any attention for 2 weeks. Now it's Twitter updates and video diaries keeping their adoring public informed of their 'brave fight' against this 'deadly virus'.

Bullshit. Prince Charles was merely a "we're all in it together" PR stunt, he is apparently fine now... big fucking surprise. The most preposterous claim however, was little Greta Thundertard, who despite being a paranoid autistic who apparently worries about everything, claims to have been infected but has not sought any medical advice or even a test.

Total fucking made up shite from a bunch of self-obsessed flakes who can't bear the fact that the world is more interested in surviving than it is in their pathetic, thick fucking opinions and actions. 

Uncle Ben has just died.

No more Mr Rice guy. 

[Eric Cuntman]

26 minutes ago, King Billy said:

If half of them lay on the floor and the other half jumped off chairs with 300 ft legs onto them, then the money saved from not buying 650 million ropes would come in very handy for me at the moment.

Science is fucking easy. I’ve made it pay at my first attempt.

It's good isn't it. I've also concluded that vodka makes you drunk. I've experimented extensively and my results are published on the porcelain of the khazi. 

[Trucking Funt]

26 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I thought that was old footage of the Great Depression. Now you’ve made me depressed.

The depression never ended up there. Every cunt you meet from Yorkshire is still fucking moaning about some colliery or cotton mill closing in 1929 and their grandparents being forced into cannibalism.