Who's The Wanker,Who's The wanker,Who's the wanker dressed in black?, Who's the wanker dressed in black?

[Neil]

Channel hopping last night and came across some fucking football match where there were 3 waitresses or something dressed in black. Not sure what they were serving but they were certainly in the wrong fucking place. Some poor sap co-commentating was tripping over his words trying desperately not to say the wrong thing, at one point he referred to one of them as a 'lines person'

Now listen up women, some of you are quite nice to look at, you know, especially the ones with big tits and a nice arse, its even nice to sometimes dine out on that fish supper between your legs, some of you give decent head and its always a pleasure to play with a decent pair of jugs and spaff the old man yoghurt over them occasionally,fuck me, even some of you make a decent bit of grub now and then but for fucking fuck sake will you please stay the fucking fuck out of our football!

Know your fucking limits!

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

It's a fucking disgrace, I watched part of it and thought she wasn't bad so decided I'd have a wank. I thought I'd timed it to perfection as said female was bent over putting some white stuff on the pitch (reminded me of some drug fuelled nights with my ex). I closed my eyes and then shot my load, I opened them only to find some of my man juice on the telly, dripping down John Stones face. The horror, the horror...I felt like Frank and then Earl of Punkape.

I want to kill myself. 

[and]

6 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

I closed my eyes and then shot my load, I opened them only to find some of my man juice on the telly, dripping down John Stones face.

Oh, come on, don't pretend that was the first time.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

33 minutes ago, dave said:

Oh, come on, don't pretend that was the first time.

Of course it wasn't it's 30 times now, the other 29 were all women... Charlize Theron, Halle Berry, Mary Nightingale to name a few, even managed to get Denise Lewis in the eye. They all fucking loved it. 

[scotty]

4 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Berry, Mary

I saw this bit OCR, and nearly vomited. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

7 minutes ago, scotty said:

I saw this bit OCR, and nearly vomited. 

Glad you were able to decipher the code, it's not something I'm proud of but she baked me a brownie afterwards to take my mind off it. Like her the brownie was crusty and dry on the outside but still fairly gooey inside.  

[Eric Cuntman]

9 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Glad you were able to decipher the code, it's not something I'm proud of but she baked me a brownie afterwards to take my mind off it. Like her the brownie was crusty and dry on the outside but still fairly gooey inside.  

Jesus fucking Christ. You disturbed fucking cunt.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Jesus fucking Christ. You disturbed fucking cunt.

Dunno what's wrong with me today @Eric Cuntman  It must be the change in the weather.

[Stubby Pecker]

4 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Of course it wasn't it's 30 times now, the other 29 were all women... Charlize Theron, Halle Berry, Mary Nightingale to name a few, even managed to get Denise Lewis in the eye. They all fucking loved it. 

Fuck me OCR, do you write for Mills and Boon?

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

10 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Fuck me OCR, do you write for Mills and Boon?

Far too busy trying to find the one @Stubby Pecker for that, having a lot of fun though. There are a lot of post lockdown women out there wanting a good fucking.

[Stubby Pecker]

1 minute ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Far too busy trying to find the one @Stubby Pecker for that, having a lot of fun though. There are a lot of post lockdown women out there wanting a good fucking.

Have you ever thought of a career in policing?

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Have you ever thought of a career in policing?

I'm black and into voodoo @Stubby Pecker they would never let me in the police force would they?

[Eric Cuntman]

13 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

I'm black and into voodoo @Stubby Pecker they would never let me in the police force would they?

If you express an interest in Islam, paedophilia, other men's arses and wimmins rights, they'll probably make you 'Lord Chief Constable of the Universe'.

For fucks sake don't mention actual law enforcement though. You'll be publicly crucified for hate crimes against 'people of colour'.

[Penny Farthing]

9 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If you express an interest in Islam, paedophilia, other men's arses and wimmins rights, they'll probably make you 'Lord Chief Constable of the Universe'.

For fucks sake don't mention actual law enforcement though. You'll be publicly crucified for hate crimes against 'people of colour'.

Don't forget the J Edgar Hoover's Witnesses

[scotty]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If you express an interest in Islam, paedophilia, other men's arses and wimmins rights, they'll probably make you 'Lord Chief Constable of the Universe'.

Plus if he claims to identify as a woman as well, they'll deify him. 

[and]

On 10/10/2021 at 16:11, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Of course it wasn't it's 30 times now, the other 29 were all women... Charlize Theron, Halle Berry, Mary Nightingale to name a few, even managed to get Denise Lewis in the eye. They all fucking loved it. 

I meant, it's not the first time you jizzed on John Stones face, is it?

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

31 minutes ago, dave said:

I meant, it not the first time you jizzed on John Stones face, is it?

No Dave, you've got it all wrong, It was supposed to be Sharon Stone.

[and]

2 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

No Dave, you've got it all wrong, It was supposed to be Sharon Stone.

Which team does she play for?

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

24 minutes ago, dave said:

Which team does she play for?

Hollywood Old Slappers United.

They were playing that cunt Beckhams Miami team in gender neutral, freaks welcome game. Did you watch it?

[and]

1 minute ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Hollywood Old Slappers United.

They were playing that cunt Beckhams Miami team in gender neutral, freaks welcome game. Did you watch it?

I refuse to watch anything connected with Beckham, the tattoo'd love-boy, cunt, gets too much publicity as it is.