and

Absolute shite !

Well that's made her fortune, there'll probably be an interview in the Sunday papers and an off of a 'spread' in Wankers Weekly, then there's the Celebrity Big Brother franchise, the cunt could retire before she's 30.

Hopefully he'll be getting his arse stretched with more than a bicycle seat ;-)

So I'm reading in the Metro (that fine, upstanding, bastion of celebrity journalism) about Ola Ray (no I've never heard of her either) Apparently she 'starred' in the famous Michael Jackson video, the one where he turned into a dancing zombie/werewolf (strange, I thought that was what he was/is)) Now, thirty odd years after the fact, she thinks she is 'owed' a shit load of cash for taking part in this farcical, promotional, featurette. Do you really think that Jackson's legal team would have had her sign a contract that allowed her to obtain 2.5% of the total royalties from a film that would, potentially, make $millions? NO, neither do I. I'm no fan of Jacko and his eccentric, childlike ways, but they should send the gold-digging, talent-less, cock jockey, x-Playboy model, away, with a flea in her ear. CUNT !

I can't afford a fucking holiday, either here or abroad, besides, abroad is full of fucking foreign cunts.

Perfect for McDonalds !

Do what the fuck you like with the shit machines, lock 'em in an airtight container for all I care (didn't I tell you I fucking hate dogs?) cunts!

At least Manning was funny, occasionally, unlike all those lefty student type cunts who pop up on any shit tv programme that pretend to have some vague connection to humour (are you listening, The Last Leg ?)

Tony Martin's problem was, that after being burgled numerous times before, he didn't have the money for another shotgun cartridge.

Oh yes they fucking are!

A UK supermarket may have unintentionally infected thousands of people with the Hepatitis E U virus transmitted through sausages and pork products from Europe, Public Health England have warned. Imported pork infects between 150,000 and 200,000 British people a year with the virus, the new research claims, and the products mainly come from Holland and Germany. The supermarket in question has not been named, and instead researchers are referring to it as Supermarket X. So the cunts won't tell us which shit-shower supermarket is responsible, boycott the lot of them, cunts !

Or they go to Glastonbury, with all the other tone deaf, poser, shit stains, cunts.

I toast my crusts over a candle, is that any good?

It's time all commercial white vans were fitted with speed limiters, say 4 mph. Failing that, just shoot on sight.

'Skid Marks', are those his driving trousers?

I think you need to be more circumspect in your choice of viewing, commercial television is for plebs and cunts.

Who's the ginger in the black leather jacket? He looks like that growly, chisel chinned, Jock cunt who used to ponce about in The Skids

How did those whales get beached so far inland?

I'm 99% certain they can't tell me how many cunts there are in this country, so how can they be certain of any other statistics?

At least Eric made some decent music !

There is no misunderstanding about Bieber, he's a complete CUNT !

or Gareth, that's a Welsh cunt's name, isn't it?

It's baffling why these cunts travel thousands of miles, to live and study in a country they so clearly despise, maybe they ain't too bright after all, in which case, they're wasting my taxes, so they should fuck off to somewhere else that appeals to their cuntish sensibilities.

Or call it 'cuntism'.