nocti
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Everything posted by nocti
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It's true. I was drafting a post on here just the other week, and my wife walked in and said that a Scottish man just rang the house phone to say that I should put a hyphen between "goat" and "fucker". I hadn't even hit send yet. The bloke is a fucking enigma.
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Bet you still would Neil. Just throw sherbet on her and fuck the fizzy bit. Personally, the only time I'd want to hear her shouting "Give it to me!" is if I'd hidden her insulin. Ham planet.
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They've already put the chips with it.
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There's even an hour gap between your double posts Quince, you fucking idiot. Have you been eating those silica gel sachets again?
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I'd push her shit back in, as long as I was pissed and she shut the fuck up.
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You're not their real Dad.
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I'm not saying my ex is a slag, but her rape alarm has a snooze button.
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Fuck no. Hardly wife material, queefs. Anyway, the cunt's dead.
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My wife and I had some friends over for a meal last night. She asked me to prepare the table, so I went in and told them all that her cooking is fucking terrible.
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Another talent-starved wanker from the Micky Flanagan school of hiding the fact that he's as funny as cot death behind his geezer accent. I'd pay good money for the chance to kick the equine cunt's teeth down his throat. As an added bonus it would keep him constipated for at least a month. He probably has to walk through a car wash every morning just to brush the fuckers. What a cunt.
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As honoured as I am, I do have a cracking headache Decs. Alas, I have an inkling that I don't really have a say in the matter.
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Brannigan's Roast Beef & Mustard are my go-to. But whenever I feel like removing every single water molecule from not just my body, but a whole two mile radius, I'll go for a pack of Salt and Vinegar Discos too.
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Take his cock out of your mouth you brown-nosing cunt!
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You perfidious little shit, Sticks. I know Luton when i see it.
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Whilst I would gladly oblige with carnal relations, if she has done a routine yet which doesn't mention her veganism, or what a cunt any of her ex-boyfriends are, I'm yet to hear it.
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Whilst I agree with you whole-heartedly Decsworth, what with prisons being adorned with frankly far too luxurious comforts these days, what better deterrent from criminal activity than the threat of being fucked up the arse by a mentally ill cross-dresser?
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I wish I was half the man she is.
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Surely with the sub-zero temperatures, the appendages shrink to such an amount that they'd need a decent SLR with a lens to rival the Hubble telescope if they're going to get a shot of anything, giving you enough of a clue and ample time to spin round a lay a nut on the dithering old cunts.
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We could build a website?
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Any cunt who believes in the sky fairy or any other dieties
nocti replied to Prints Harry's topic in The Corner
My post suddenly seems like a rather bizarre non-sequitur. Well, more so than usual anyway. Fucking mods. I stand by it regardless, and agree that Curtis would snap it up. It'll be miles better than any of the shit he's churned out since Blackadder. -
Any cunt who believes in the sky fairy or any other dieties
nocti replied to Prints Harry's topic in The Corner
Plot twist: Punkape's lover is Alfie's milkman.- 212 replies
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Trans-spotting, then? Fuck off MikeD.
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Any cunt who believes in the sky fairy or any other dieties
nocti replied to Prints Harry's topic in The Corner
I'm torn between applauding you for at least attempting some form of humour, and chastising you for using a joke so old and utterly fucking dreadful, it could be in your beloved big book of bollocks. Also, it's Friday, so I won't call you a cunt, but I'll certainly think it.- 212 replies
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Makes you wonder what she dances like when she's had a few. I imagine for the first dance at her wedding, she just squatted and curled one up in the middle of the dance floor to James Blunt.
