Hokey Gingers

Punky will be out today with his chums chasing foxy all over Cheshire. Foxy drives a 4x4 and loves cock.

An elderly American couple decided to see out their twilight years living in "olde" rural Ireland. After viewing a few properties they came across a promising old house situated in the back of beyond. The owner gave them the tour, upstairs and down, showing them around the property. It seemed just what they were looking for. The American gentleman made Paddy aware they were enchanted with the house although something had struck them as odd. " Paddy, where`s the john?" Paddy led them straight down the stairs, straight out the back door and down to the bottom of the garden where a wooden structure stood. He opened the door and there was a bench seat with a large hole cut in the middle. The yanks seemed somewhat lost for words. "Gee Paddy, there`s no lock on that door!" Paddy replied " Well, i`ve lived here all my life, and my father before me, and his father before him and we`ve never had a bucket of shit stolen yet."

I`m going out on a bit of a limb here but this looks like the work of Peter North or a bus load of Asian men standing on a beer crate.

Edgy comedy duo off BBC4 for xmas. £147.00. Bastards.

At this time of year please spare a thought for the 5% of the population who suffer silently from SAD . One would assume, wrongly, that with all the excitement and promise of Christmas and holidays ahead sufferers could muster a smile and be stoic but winter`s veil of dark and gloom is sadly too much to bear. I must confess to being a sufferer myself although my affliction is mild SAD. In fact vitamin D or special lightbulbs are not needed to cure me, only the news Bill has been thrown through the window of his Proton up the road on his face and ironically being driven over by a stolen council gritter with a failed asylum seeker at the wheel. 1..2... ha1.2..3, Knees up Mother Brown....knees up Mother Brown......

Remember the time his freckely fucker of a da slipped and fell on the beach squeezing and ultimately ruining his bollocks. Prat.

Not true. Syrian cars go off with an unbelievable bang Rick. Where are you getting this duff info?

Hollywood has been shit lately, they haven`t made anything watchable in years. I`ve an idea for a Dr.Who movie that would sell though. Streep and De Niro play two ageing senile white shites who rim anyone who has a bearing on their career or is simply an evil bastard. Their adopted sons, Ben and Damon are Afghan refugees who are typical fun loving jihadis who embrace the local Jewish community and act as mentors to the neighbourhood Girl Guide troop, organising camps and sleepovers. Polanski could be lured back to the US to direct the movie but only if he got to read bedtime stories to 14 yr old girls. Last time that happened though as he closed the book his trousers fell down and he tripped and fell entering the sleeping 14 yr old. Anyhow, the cast and crew could assemble in the Tardis and set the time and date to Sunday Oct.1st. 10.05pm Las Vegas at a country and western show across from the Mandalay...

Cowell, Piers Morgan and Bill TD Stickers. A revolver. Two bullets. What to do. Yeah, shoot Bill twice.

A bit harsh there Neil, Ike says if you give Tina a cuff she`s golden...

This heartless prick adamantly refused to wear sunglasses and trampled poor Sadie`s paws into mush..the toot eyed bastard.

I`m sick of the sight of that fucker, i`d love Boris to whip off his Hawaiian shorts after a chain farting 10k slog and gag her with his rancid sweaty gusset. Mid way through he could ask if her mouth was that shape from birth or was she dating Lukaku. Bastard.

I wonder if Edd is short for anything? Anyhow, here`s one especially for Mike to take for a spin.

Sean and Deirdie, Irish Scat Champs 1972 just before a well deserved bubble bath. Deirdie always liked to present herself well for the cameras hence the racy blanket and neat side shade. Stunning. No apologies.

Look at this cunt`s face and tell me this isn`t a man who has secretly watched the wife being regularly spit roasted by the Vicar and the Sexton. Even a cursory glace gives it away he`s sexually defunct and a floppy cocked failure, unable even to maintain a penetrative erection between the time he watches the 10 minute freeview and the top of the fucking stairs . This all adds up. If he was giving the wife what she wants they`d both be exhausted and out for the count . I can only hope and pray that a mosque opens soon next door to the arsehole and the call to prayers at daybreak shakes him out of his nightly stare at the ceiling fantasy of topping himself. Seed laden bread is a cunt. I`m the boss of my shit pipe not you, you "want away" bullet shaped fucker.

Why this hypocritical, elitist "love everyone, no borders but stay off my fucking island" cunt was not carried off into the arms of Irma is a lamentable travesty. Ballooning bastard.

While flipping through the Freeview channels i never stop being amazed by the sheer tsumami of shite on offer for punters to buy. Dodgy fitness apparatus, cooking appliances which seem to promote eating shit " Does it do chips? " " Yes, and donuts too and with a wipe it`s ready for lard soup." It`s fucking unreal though for me the real unbelievable products are for cunts who craft. These weirdos will buy hundreds of pounds worth of laminators , die cutters and coloured paper at £20 for six sheets. Seriously? " Happy Birthday you cunt, see that card....it only cost me £8.37 and 2 hours to make." Pillock.

You can say that again..

" For the last fucking time Dobbie, i can`t smell a dingy."

Good luck to any cunt that watches athletics and reckons it`s all legit, i`ve lost count of how many cunts have been caught cheating or miss unannounced testing, National Treasures included. This retro awarding of medals malarkey shows promise though. I`m looking forward to officials on my doorstep telling me it should have been me that fucked Sandra and Alison back in `96 as technically it was me that got them drunk and bought the Chinese and not my fucking cousin.

£10,000 you say, seems a bit pricey to me.

There`s been talk of you hanging round the local mosque with your ankles out Pen. Hussy.