Eric Cuntman

Life's a bitch and then you marry one.

Me neither.

I love that chemically compromised Mickjock.

I'm guessing that the more experienced and long serving loonies were given priority when it came to handing out Beijing Kalashnikovs. Any flintlock still being used would almost certainly be a 'cap and ball' conversion with a nipple brazed onto the touch hole and the priming pan discarded.

I wish they'd all 'challenge' their immunity to hydrogen cyanide.

Maidstone? Full of pikeys.

On a newt... about 6 millimetres.

@JohnnySaucePants?

Print the address here and now... I give my blessing in front of the entire membership. @Mrs Roops I would like it known that I have given Johnny full permission to post any personal information he may have regarding my address. The ball's in your court, Johnny.

Of course I have. I even used you and Punkape as examples of how fake wealth should be portrayed. This fucking half arsed amateur hasn't got a clue.

What did Tommy Steele find in his Christmas pudding?

Roops gave him clear instructions on how to post photographic evidence of his opulent lifestyle. However, nothing as yet. It's the clearest case of 'Mitty-itis' I've ever seen on here. Definitely a virgin.

What?

I was actually trying to find the programme it was featured in. It was one of those historical Gun freak shows with the late R Lee Ermey. He had a selection of weapons captured in Afghanistan. Mostly type 56 and ww2 stuff. But a few oddments, a couple of British muzzle stuffers and an American long rifle. The most bizarre was a west African 'Snaphance'. A hotch-potch of scrap parts built around the lock and barrel of an 18th century Dutch flintlock.

He really does come across as the type of red-faced gammon ex-pat spastic whose tastes in entertainment and cerebral stimulation are limited to clowns and oompah music. Imagine the stories his imaginary Chinese housekeeper could tell. "Mr Johnny pay me velly good lages, but he get dlunk and tly to penetlate me. It ok though, I not feel nuffin."

Fucking superb.

Katie Hopkins summed up this phenomenon nicely in the intro to one of her 'non PC' rants... "I'll explain everything slowly, as most of you have been watching YouTube make-up tutorials and rapping, and won't have spent much time in school."

He was wearing his sheepskins..

Try morphine. That'll loosen you up. And plenty of boiled eggs.

Yes they were.

Give me 48 hrs immunity and I'll drag the little spastic down to the open corner and smash rules 1 - 13 over his deluded little subnormal peanut head.

I'm sure that's exactly how it would go for you. An Essex doorman would have little chance of winning a fight against a retired pacifist. I'll watch my step in future. You really are a fucking stupid fucking cunt Johnny. ♿️

My favourite bit of graffiti was on the bog wall at Euston tube station in the Highbury era. 'WEST HAM IS A WANKER'

One of those spoof films, possibly "Superhero Movie" featured a spot on lookalike as Stephen Hawking. After he finishes a lecture, he turns to the kids and in the metallic voice... "IVE-GOT-SOME-HASH. WHO-WANTS-TO-GET-FUCKED-UP?"

Stephen Hawking was a fucking fraud. Claimed to know all about the far reaches of the universe, how? You've never even seen the upstairs of your own house.