Eric Cuntman

Sicknote. For 48 hrs my stomach has been turned into a hydrochloric acid pumping station. My arse has been similarly repurposed as a hi-pressure hot water dispenser. Consequently, examination of my sphincter would lead the observer to conclude that I'd been force fed a kilo of Rohypnol and been tied down with you and frank for company. Fuck off.

I've tried very hard with him. I hope this shit gets noted. I'm very community minded.

Yes I am Gyps. I'm a piece of work and you're very lucky to have me.

I'm the only thing keeping you alive round here. I suggest you show some fucking respect.

Mr Biden has stepped down for 'medical reasons'. Here is your new president, Mz Lupota Um-Bongo Kgabe. We would urge white america to accept their marginalisation without complaint. Complaining is racist.

Harold. Behave your fucking self.

This represents the biggest step forward in African American culture since the invention of 'Breakdancing' in 1979 as a method of stealing hub-caps from moving vehicles.

Perhaps all the dirty masks could be recycled by sewing them together into quilts to keep elderly people warm.

Bring my charger.

Maybe because of the same elastic that stops them falling off when you're upright... Ffs.

I've seen better ones. Maybe she aged nicely and was in her 40s when I thought about shagging her. I don't know. I'm not from fucking Gallifrey.

'Oh, Mr D'arcy! You are a one!'

Would you have done Hillary Clinton when she was in her mid thirties? I would have.

Those images you create in your head whilst having a wank can seem like a porno in hindsight. Hope that helps.

I don't care what her star sign is.

Only sometimes.

I definitely would have wrecked that Lewinsky sort.

It's Bella Emberg. 'Blunderwoman'

Who, in turn has the hand of his wife (king dong) jammed up his arse pulling the strings.

Have the Democrats selected a transgender black woman to become president when Biden steps down for 'medical reasons' in a couple of months? ATTENTION AFRICAN AMERICANS The United States is now open. Should you see anything shiny or expensive, please feel free to steal it and smash up and burn anything else. Although technically still illegal, rape, burglary and murder will be tolerated providing the perpetrators are black. Our police are no longer willing to risk prosecution for doing their job, so fill your boots. Please be aware that criticism and racial abuse of white people is now the expected norm and failure to do so may lead to accusations of 'Uncle Tommishness'. Enjoy turning your new nation into a carbon copy of the filthy shitholes your ancestors were lucky enough to be dragged out of.

I understood what you meant W&D. Things look different to Harold in his octopuses garden in the shade.

Let's just burn all literature and films, tv shows, art and everything else. All of those things created by white people anyway. And the fucking Japanese need to apologise for offending Iguanas with their negative portrayals of reptiles in Godzilla.

Good nomination. I was just reading this and I wholeheartedly agree. What I find infuriating is the willingness to immediately issue a fawning, shameful apology, rather than telling these professional victims to fuck off and grow up. Lucas and Walliams apologising for little Britain... why? Regardless of what you think of those two, it was a brilliant sketch show with winning characters. The 'comedian' leading the chorus of complaints should take his gnarled little mashed potato whisking claw, and shove it up his faggot sphincter.

She certainly resembles his French Girlfriend. Stoops himself looked like the talking statue out of Neil Buchanan's 'Art Attack', only disgustingly spotty. I remember that night well. Stoops completely lost his shit and posted a selfie of himself and his mutated Euro-snatch, in an attempt to convince us he wasn't a virgin. And @'eavensabovetalked Welsh_cunt into calling someone a nonce. 2 cunts got banned and stoops was never heard from again.

Not dead. Preserved in 'Carbonshite', like Han Solo.