Eric Cuntman

Wasn't that soppy cunt in jail before he ever got a chance to be in 'New Kids'? I know his brother Donnie was in it. Poor dopey Mark ended up with a 'Funky Bunch' as consolation.

'Pigs In Space'

I do. But he's just fat. Less Ironside, more 'Jumbo Columbo'.

And they're all racists. Both Ironside and Alf Garnett had black slaves to push them about. I don't like that one out of Silent Witness either.

At any time. Your point regarding 'if the place was empty, why not just stand where you want?', was very, cross examiner like

Were you a lawyer?

Intelligent, quick minded and scalpel sharp in a verbal sense. Anyone who turned up to see her with the intention of heckling and coming out on top, was a very stupid, deluded cunt.

If it was good enough for Robert Mitchum, it's good enough for you Panzbaby.

Mr Patel who runs my nearest corner shop, always refers to his own brand Costcutter toilet roll as 'John Wayne'. Apparently, it's rough, it's tough, and it doesn't take any fucking shit from Indians. Ithangyow.

Joan Rivers was the only funny female comedian. She was once heckled by someone who objected to a joke about disability. He said; "making fun of the disabled isn't funny!" she replied; "Funny! You wanna know what's funny?.. Walking along a beach in France with your husband, looking for a leg he lost 50 years ago.. that's fucking funny!"

That was innovative. Would you like to duck my sick?

Who were you there to see?

Ironic that the effeminate and entirely harmless Marigold, is known in the U.S primarily for portraying the hardest cunt locked up in 'Oz'. Now that was a fucking brutal TV show.

Security at gigs have been onto this scam for decades. One of them turns up in a wheelchair and they get ushered straight to the front. It was popularised by Alf Garnett and Marigold at Upton Park.

No need to be upset. If you need to reestablish your all American masculinity, simply spend an afternoon watching baseball in your underpants, drinking beer and spraying WD-40 on your civilian registered AR-15. Then go out in your pickup truck, drive around until you see a dead animal, then strap it to the hood, and drive home screaming 'YEEEEHAAAAAW', and throwing Budweiser cans out of the window.

Salty, I like you. But you need to desist with the Gwyneth Paltrow style, intimate hygiene advice blog. You'll be telling the girls on here to steam their clams with coffee percolators next! And anyway, we don't have Bidet's, because they were invented by the French to facilitate gayness. We just shit in the shower and push it through the plug hole with our toes.

That would be more showbiz than the usual offerings of women with massive arses and rapists/crack dealers, wearing wobbly head-pieces and doing some bizarre bogle dancing shit.

Qualitah

Trollop

You are definitely the corners number one at onomatopoeic mimicry of high profile paedophiles.

And a ginger.

Agreed. Stokes balance and timing was spot on, it's not easy to accurately chin 2 poofs after seven or eight pints.

It's so nice to see you happy for a change Apple. A bit disturbing maybe.

Should've kept that quiet. Decimus will now attend, disguised as Winnie Mandela. When you least expect, he will jump out from behind a papier-mâché banana tree and kick you in the cock.

Look up Otto Skorzeny. The hardest cunt that ever pulled back the toggle on a Luger. Long time after the war, Israeli Mossad tracked him down, sent a couple of trained killers to assassinate him. He disarmed them, phoned their Israeli handlers and threatened to execute them both on his carpet if the kill order wasn't lifted. Mossad agreed, and recruited him to hunt down a few stray nazis in South America! He later became Eva Peron's personal bodyguard, and rumour has it shagged her as well. His most notorious wartime achievement was single handedly rescuing Mussolini from a castle in France. Where Mussolini was captive and guarded by American troops. Quiet job, so knuckle duster and dagger. Proper big balls cunt.