Eric Cuntman

Neil, you're a sick fucking pervert. But you do make me laugh.

Frank. The only reason you continue to exist here, is because I allow it to be so. Just saying.

I'm fully aboard with this. Cushions are the devil's way of telling you that some cunt in your house is an insecure snowflake.

They're obsessed with that shit, and rarely accept your proposal that the five year old tobacco stained paint on the ceiling, is actually, 'quite a nice shade of ochre'.

What the fuck ever happened to Mick Brown?

You eat fruit? You're not Scottish, you fucking charlatan.

No, my heart still belonged to Sally James.

Keep up.

You did Tommy, you nicked the jam out of his doughnut.

Game for a laugh. With beadle and Sarah Kennedy and the other 2 cunts.

I'm not. I had to google it. Desmond the barber was in it.

Delbert, the wannabe bad boy gangsta. Algernon Razzmatazz, the woolly hat wearing Rastafarian. And Lenny, the man who complains about the stereotyping of black people. The thick fucking cunt.

His stamina is astounding. Surely he must have worn out the bore of his custard cannon.

You had to mention root vegetables didn't you.. .. Now we have months of radish avatars and stark warnings on the evils of Chinese Mooli. We may have to distract him with banana Nesquik to bring him out of it.

Personally, I love @Alfred Noakes avatar. It would be absolutely splendid, wedged into a 12 inch length(steady Punkape) of buttered french loaf, with a soupçon of brown sauce. Anyone that doesn't want to eat that is either a Jew, a Muslim or some other kind of delusional freak.

Virgin

You fuckin copied off me again. You're well out of order.

Worth a try though. Seriously though, if you get the chance, Tazer yourself. It's quite an experience. (Go for a piss first)

Ah, but I finished it an posted it before you posted your one, which means I win an everyone knows you copied off me.

Beat you to it. Ha!!

For your own sake, just accept it's over. It hurts me to say it, as much as it hurts you to hear it, but, you need to move on. It's for the best. Sorry.

Shhhh! Whispering grass.

Bottle, I've had 2 of them smashed over my head in the last 23 years. I see you're still trying to claim that you turned up to an imaginary fight. Idiot. I'm 6 feet 2, about 15 and a half stone and have had more punch-ups than you have had wanks over the 10 year old Lara Croft poster that's still Blu-Tacked to the wall of your bedroom, embarrassingly still located in your parents' house. In short, if we did actually meet, you would be crushed like an insect. But anyway, the crux of the matter..... I'm not interested in a relationship. Please stop following me around, you're only hurting yourself. I just don't think of you that way. Sorry babes. Still friends? 😪

The same inadequate troll who appears to be utterly smitten by me and will do anything to get my attention.

Whitehall 1212