Eric Cuntman

That we're better than you.

I like Murdoch. He's better than Faceman.

Gyps, its three in the morning, I'm pissed and I still can't get to sleep.

You can take the boy out of the Valley...

WC, I'm beginning to see a deeper, more incisive and analytical side to you. Do you fancy pretending to be a woman in the dark?

Yiz fockin racist cunt ya! So yiz are, so yiz are.

Oh yeah, Hic!tor... your parallel universe stalker, to my Albert. They both seem to turn up periodically and launch a futile fucking attack, which, lets face it, isn't going to end well for either of them.

Am I to assume that you were a bit of a fan of Dustin Gee?

Stubby. I think the world of you and appreciate your sometimes savage and incisive brand of humour. But I haven't got a fucking clue what the fuck this is about.

Virgin

I'm fairly certain that Dave out of Chas & Dave will continue performing as 'Dave out of Chas & Dave'. It's what Chas, out of Chas & Dave would have wanted.

Were you killed in that pub bombing?

I don't care.

I just looked this up and you can get an Indian one with bhajis, samosas, tikka chicken, rice and Bombay spuds. I'm all over that shit like a Pakistani cabbie at a school netball game.

Yes. Diane Abbott's flaps can be seen at the top of the picture, between the pots of sauce.

Reported for anti-Nazi-ism.

One and a half camels.

Don't mention convents. Fender will be back from the pub any minute.

Diesel, bubble gum and socks? you're the cunt I bought that quarter of soap bar off last year.

I never knew Keith, but I have looked through some of his old shite and he was actually very funny, in a spazzy kind of way.

I told Eddie that this new character was shit.

Is this the haul of a vagrant, fresh from a foraging sortie in the bins of some awful kebab shop? You're supposed to goad them into fighting for a bottle of Buckfast and video it, not post pictures of their dinner.

It'll be ok Neil. Just take a few deep breaths... then wank.... ..and relax.

I read somewhere that 'Ping and Pong' were also possibilities. The Top Gear destroying cunt should be disappeared simply for existing, but this adds weight to all arguments supporting his demise. You would have thought the celebrity breeders would have learned from the Geldof's, all those kids were given fucking stupid names and now the resultant spastics are falling over each other to fatally overdose.

Some of them had brown vinyl rooves. Yuk.