scotty Posted November 4, 2014 Report Share Posted November 4, 2014 Bought a nice half-leg of lamb at the weekend, and as the mrs was working a long shift at the hospital today, I decided to put on a nice casserole between jobs. Found a decent looking recipe off the bbc website by that downsy spacker jamie oliver, and set to it. We had all the ingredients, the last of which was a bouquet garni; I knew we had these as I'd bought the fuckers a few months back and stuffed them in the kitchen drawer, they're like a teabag. Lobbed it in at lunchtime, oven on low, lavvly jabbly as the faux-cockernee would put it. Picked up the wife from work at 7, back home, gave her a glass of vino reddo and proudly took the casserole out the oven. Served it up on a pile of mash, and in we tucked. Cough from the wife. "Ahem.....interesting flavour, what spices did you use?" I told her it was just seasoning and a bouquet garni. "Where did you find that?" she asks. I showed her. "Thats a fucking mulled wine sachet," she informs me. Still, it didn't taste half bad so if anyone wants the recipe, pmail me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted November 4, 2014 Report Share Posted November 4, 2014 That was one of Spot's ex girlfriends you were eating. Bastard! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 4, 2014 Report Share Posted November 4, 2014 Bought a nice half-leg of lamb at the weekend, and as the mrs was working a long shift at the hospital today, I decided to put on a nice casserole between jobs. Found a decent looking recipe off the bbc website by that downsy spacker jamie oliver, and set to it. We had all the ingredients, the last of which was a bouquet garni; I knew we had these as I'd bought the fuckers a few months back and stuffed them in the kitchen drawer, they're like a teabag. Lobbed it in at lunchtime, oven on low, lavvly jabbly as the faux-cockernee would put it. Picked up the wife from work at 7, back home, gave her a glass of vino reddo and proudly took the casserole out the oven. Served it up on a pile of mash, and in we tucked. Cough from the wife. "Ahem.....interesting flavour, what spices did you use?" I told her it was just seasoning and a bouquet garni. "Where did you find that?" she asks. I showed her. "Thats a fucking mulled wine sachet," she informs me. Still, it didn't taste half bad so if anyone wants the recipe, pmail me. Well good for you Scotty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 4, 2014 Report Share Posted November 4, 2014 I tired experimenting with food but stopped when I ruptured by arse muscle trying to insert a Rockmelon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted November 4, 2014 Report Share Posted November 4, 2014 It always brings a feeling of warm satisfaction when something you made turns out as you'd hoped. Just last night, the wife got the fish fingers just right in the microwave. The smile of achievement on her face was priceless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 What are going to call this brilliant creation then Scotty? Lamb fuck-up? Mauled lamb? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 What are going to call this brilliant creation then Scotty? Lamb fuck-up? Mauled lamb? The vintner's goat, perhaps? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted November 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 What are going to call this brilliant creation then Scotty? Lamb fuck-up? Mauled lamb? I did consider "Christmas Lamb Surprise" rat, but if truth be told I lied towards the end there. It was actually fucking horrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 Nice work for trying I reckon. Even a fuck up gets brownie points in my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 If one of Bronski's Rustlers burgers, topped with his step-mum's cunt-blister relish just won't do, why not earn yourself some real brownie points (you never fucking know) with the missus and serve up pan-seared sea bass, on a bed of citrus-dressed broccoli and capers. It's not cheap, but easy to make and guarantees you getting a dripping helmet at the end of the night. Rick Stein's a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 It always brings a feeling of warm satisfaction when something you made turns out as you'd hoped. Just last night, the wife got the fish fingers just right in the microwave. The smile of achievement on her face was priceless. That is gold Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 Good story there. I like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 What about 'Lamb Marriage Buster'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 If you tell them in Aberdeen that you've mulled a lamb they'll give you the freedom of the city. Not that you'd want it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 What are going to call this brilliant creation then Scotty? Lamb fuck-up? Mauled lamb? I think Delia Smith lists it as dogs dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 For fuck sake Scotty, what happened to you man ? Cooking dinner ? And talking about fucked up lamb, why hasn't Profb commented ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 For fuck sake Scotty, what happened to you man ? Cooking dinner ? And talking about fucked up lamb, why hasn't Profb commented ? Scotty killed her relative, that's why. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted November 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 For fuck sake Scotty, what happened to you man ? Cooking dinner ? And talking about fucked up lamb, why hasn't Profb commented ? I didn't have the ready cash for a takeaway, Jacko. Can't expect the wife to do a 12 hour shift then come home and cook dinner, I do have some scruples. (They may be rotten, but they're all mine.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 Today i tried something i haven't tried, someone gave me a packet of pork sausage meat, don't know why perhaps they think i am a cunt, i told them i don't use this shit, anyway they left it so i open it and thought OK i will make some meatballs, so i got the fucking pan going then molded the crap into balls with some onion and seasoning, fried the bastards in dark soy sauce, i ate it and within five fucking minutes my arse was singing out loud like the royal philharmonic orchestra, there was all sorts of alien sounds coming from my ring piece, now i have had a clear out but filled the sewers. Last time I tried to give someone my packet of pork sausage I spent a night in the lock up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted November 5, 2014 Report Share Posted November 5, 2014 That is gold She is a treasure! Cheers, Bitchslap! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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