Guest Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 Mrs Grumps and I decided to see what all the fucking fuss is about this great fucking dirty rock in the middle of arse-fuck nowhere so we went for a day trip to have a perve on the action. Caught a bus with a tourist group and fucked off to the outback where it was so hot the little juice left in my ball bag started to boil and my plastic left nut melted to my thigh. We arrived and were greeted by the local Abo tribe who danced about like spooky little spastics with epilepsy and were given a run down of the sacred relevance of the rock to the local Abos. I didn't listen so don't have a fucking clue what it was all about. The cunts then expected us to climb the fucker which is 348 fucking meters high. I told the local Abo king or who ever the cunt was he could belt that up his arse and the Mrs and I fucked off for a wander about to look for Goannas, Emus, Ewoks, and other nature shit. We wandered about for a while thinking how fucking shithouse this cunt of a spot was and they should at least build a fucking pub out here as cunts risk dying of boredom when the Mrs decided she was busting for a shit. With no other option on offer, and no cunt about she decided to fire out a sneaky turd at the base of the rock behind a tree. she assumed the squat-hover position and had started to crown when she let out a frightful scream of pain. Turns out she had been bitten on the cunt by a black snake who took offence to her laying a cable on its head. I said "don't worry luv, the bastards as good as dead if it got a gobfull of your rotten old buger" and was promptly hit in the face with a forcefully thrown rock. My survival training quickly kicked in as I realised I could save my dearests life if I sucked the poison out so I quickly flipped her over, took my teeth out and started to gum the fuck out of her left flap. Fuck me, I'm not sure if it was the poison or sweaty old octogenarian minge, but I started to feel queasy as fuck and spewed like a bastard all about the place and almost passed out. The Abo king and his mates had come looking for us and went off their lids as apparently we had defiled a sacred monument with shit, spew, and mouth-to-minge contact in the place of their sacred abo magic or some shit and were marched at spear point back to the bus. Fuck Ayres rock, fuck the outback, and fuck the wildlife in that cunthole of a place. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 Grumps, you're a true gent. Any other cunt would have offered her up to the cannibal king for the minge duty, in exchange for being allowed to continue living. Abos seem to be annoying and over rated cunts. You sure the snake wasn't trying to shag the newly emerging coiling hissing beast emerging from Mrs Grumps chocolate starfish? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 Very nice. We already know you hate women and people with black skin you don't have to make up shit like this to get the point across. Get a life little boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 Very nice. We already know you hate women and people with black skin you don't have to make up shit like this to get the point across. Get a life little boy. You know fuck all, you worthless shit coated cocksucker! Fuck off to Bronski's boudoir for a bukkake party with all of his broney chums. PRICK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 Have you ever been up to The Roaches Judge? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 Very nice. We already know you hate women and people with black skin you don't have to make up shit like this to get the point across. Get a life little boy. Ha! This coming from you ya cunt!! Crawl back under your rock with the wife you don't have you fucking queer. Tell me who hates women, a bloke who been happily married 40 years or a poof no woman will have with no sense of fucking humor. Fuck off hero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 Were there any old dessicated skeletons of lost schoolgirls there, grumps? I'm sure Bronski hit the headlines there a few years back. While his step-mum was getting a portion of his dad's soldier-juice behind a rock, or something, Bronski was heard screaming, "Fuckin' dingos ate my pony". Rachel Roberts was a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 How can we dance when our earth is turning?How do we sleep while our beds are burning? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 Mrs Grumps and I decided to see what all the fucking fuss is about this great fucking dirty rock in the middle of arse-fuck nowhere so we went for a day trip to have a perve on the action. Caught a bus with a tourist group and fucked off to the outback where it was so hot the little juice left in my ball bag started to boil and my plastic left nut melted to my thigh. We arrived and were greeted by the local Abo tribe who danced about like spooky little spastics with epilepsy and were given a run down of the sacred relevance of the rock to the local Abos. I didn't listen so don't have a fucking clue what it was all about. The cunts then expected us to climb the fucker which is 348 fucking meters high. I told the local Abo king or who ever the cunt was he could belt that up his arse and the Mrs and I fucked off for a wander about to look for Goannas, Emus, Ewoks, and other nature shit. We wandered about for a while thinking how fucking shithouse this cunt of a spot was and they should at least build a fucking pub out here as cunts risk dying of boredom when the Mrs decided she was busting for a shit. With no other option on offer, and no cunt about she decided to fire out a sneaky turd at the base of the rock behind a tree. she assumed the squat-hover position and had started to crown when she let out a frightful scream of pain. Turns out she had been bitten on the cunt by a black snake who took offence to her laying a cable on its head. I said "don't worry luv, the bastards as good as dead if it got a gobfull of your rotten old buger" and was promptly hit in the face with a forcefully thrown rock. My survival training quickly kicked in as I realised I could save my dearests life if I sucked the poison out so I quickly flipped her over, took my teeth out and started to gum the fuck out of her left flap. Fuck me, I'm not sure if it was the poison or sweaty old octogenarian minge, but I started to feel queasy as fuck and spewed like a bastard all about the place and almost passed out. The Abo king and his mates had come looking for us and went off their lids as apparently we had defiled a sacred monument with shit, spew, and mouth-to-minge contact in the place of their sacred abo magic or some shit and were marched at spear point back to the bus. Fuck Ayres rock, fuck the outback, and fuck the wildlife in that cunthole of a place. Was there a castle behind it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 You only have yourself to blame Grumps. A rock. Why the fuck did you go and look at a fucking rock? I bet it cost you money too. Did the Abbos sell you any hooch? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 I thought Ayer's Rock was called Christine Ohuruogu these days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 I thought Ayer's Rock was called Christine Ohuruogu these days No, it's Lieutenant Uhura. An easy mistake to make - these rocks all look the same to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2014 Report Share Posted November 6, 2014 No, it's Lieutenant Uhura. An easy mistake to make - these rocks all look the same to me. I've pissed myself you dog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 7, 2014 Report Share Posted November 7, 2014 It appears to me that you were taken to the wrong side of the rock. Some of the coach drivers do this on purpose Grumps, as the Abo's are not Abo's at all, but are kidnapped African Ebola victims from Sarah Stalone,and are just acting the goat. Thank fuck it wasn't one of those who took a bite from your Mrs billobongo-dudgereedoh. Had you circumnavigated and gone to the North face, you would have found pubs a plenty on that side of the rock, together with restaurants, several casino's and dare I say it, some shit-hot chuff to have munched upon in the backroom's of "Madam Sheila's Fosters Bar" I can only suggest that you demand a full refund and perhaps find another way to entertain yourself, like purchasing one of those sticks that have a tendency to come back no matter how many times you throw the cunting thing away. Failing that, find yourself a pouch-less Kangaroo and throw another wombat on the Bar-beee. Just my fucking luck. Wander about like fucking bush tucker man when I could of been smoking a reefer, downing a pint, and punting on blackjack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 7, 2014 Report Share Posted November 7, 2014 Was there a castle behind it? No I didn't see a castle old boy. A sheet of tin propped against a tree an Abo was using as a house was the only "structure" I saw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 7, 2014 Report Share Posted November 7, 2014 You only have yourself to blame Grumps. A rock. Why the fuck did you go and look at a fucking rock? I bet it cost you money too. Did the Abbos sell you any hooch? Good question Dee. We have been doing a bit of touristy stuff on our stay here but looking at a fucking rock was pretty fucking stupid. No hooch but I knicked one of the cunts loin cloths and tried to smoke that but the smell of burning shit and Abo ball sweat was too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted November 7, 2014 Report Share Posted November 7, 2014 Oi Grumpy, you seem any of them Grite Woight Shaaks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 7, 2014 Report Share Posted November 7, 2014 Oi Grumpy, you seem any of them Grite Woight Shaaks? Not as yet KC. I hate swimming as I like all my limbs where they are and be fucked getting in a cage with one of them cunts lurking about so I don't plan on visiting them. I did see a big as fuck crocodile when we were up north, the cunts are fucking massive from their diet of German tourists. Fucking Bull sharks swim up in the rivers here from the ocean and are everywhere where cunts go swimming. So much shit can kill you in this cunt of a joint KC I say we send Keith over to do an "Outback survivor" show and see how long until the cunt gets munched by something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted November 7, 2014 Report Share Posted November 7, 2014 Not as yet KC. I hate swimming as I like all my limbs where they are and be fucked getting in a cage with one of them cunts lurking about so I don't plan on visiting them. I did see a big as fuck crocodile when we were up north, the cunts are fucking massive from their diet of German tourists. Fucking Bull sharks swim up in the rivers here from the ocean and are everywhere where cunts go swimming. So much shit can kill you in this cunt of a joint KC I say we send Keith over to do an "Outback survivor" show and see how long until the cunt gets munched by something. As big and lethal as the wildlife can be, I would still fear for their virtue with a horny, desperate virgin like Keith in their habitat. Can't you just see the cunt with his plastic katana, a hunk of GHB laced kangaroo meat, and a few gallons of fisting lube and his infamous lecherous fucking cunt grin on his moon face? For the good of human kind, Bronski should be locked up until a suitable volunteer nurse can be found that will ride him into normalcy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 7, 2014 Report Share Posted November 7, 2014 As big and lethal as the wildlife can be, I would still fear for their virtue with a horny, desperate virgin like Keith in their habitat. Can't you just see the cunt with his plastic katana, a hunk of GHB laced kangaroo meat, and a few gallons of fisting lube and his infamous lecherous fucking cunt grin on his moon face? For the good of human kind, Bronski should be locked up until a suitable volunteer nurse can be found that will ride him into normalcy. Out of likes but this made me laugh, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted November 7, 2014 Report Share Posted November 7, 2014 Out of likes but this made me laugh, The lad is cause for concern at times! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 10, 2014 Report Share Posted November 10, 2014 Fucking Abos, been about for 40,000 years and when the British landed all the dumb cunts had invented was a stick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted November 10, 2014 Report Share Posted November 10, 2014 I went to Australia once. Within a few days I went red as a rapist, peeled like fuck, and trod in dogshit bare-footed. Never been tempted to go back if i'm honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted November 10, 2014 Report Share Posted November 10, 2014 Sounds like a top holiday. The sun fucks you down here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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