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Happy Fucking Christmas


Rev

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Guest nobgobbler

I don't do sprouts, but I did notice that my parsnips tasted a bit fishy. Must have a word with Mrs Baws about that...!

You could try carving your cock until it resembles the shape of a parsnip, if that is the lady's preference.

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You could try carving your cock until it resembles the shape of a parsnip, if that is the lady's preference.

 

I've got a thingy that's shaped like a turnip. I'm a big hit at parties – I hide in the vegetable rack and frighten the children.
 

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Guest nobgobbler

I've got a thingy that's shaped like a turnip. I'm a big hit at parties – I hide in the vegetable rack and frighten the children.
 

Just your good old typical children's entertainer then! Do you turn up drunk as well and stink of sprout farts? And burp "happy birthday to you". 

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Here I am, bringing a new gf to the festivities, 30 friends, private catering, open bar, trying to bring the relationship to the next level. Turns out gf is a pain in the butt. She can't survive without the assistance of a lot of hard booze. First, she arrives tipsy, makes a beeline to the kitchen where I store the hard stuff, slurring her words, doling out tight hugs and rubbing her tits and clit against anyone. She clearly stepped over the line between buzzed enough for sex and too drunk for it,  couldn't get it on at the end of the night.  She'll be exchanged for New Year's.

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As it happens ratts, I did do the honours. A duck from waitrose, a few assorted veggies, and a potato gratin in a cream and mushroom sauce with white summer truffles. (Shamefully, the potato dish was from lidl.)

 

I think I love you Scotto

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  • 5 years later...

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