Guest Keith Lard Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 So a couple of days ago, my Mom took me to the local Hungry Horse restaurant for a special Christmas event as I had a rough year getting banned from conventions and struggling to find employment. At the family restaurant they were presenting a show for the kids, starring Santa Claus and Elsa from Frozen. I was feeling ecstatic for this as it could be my first time to lose my virginity and out of all people it’s the sexy ice queen, even though in reality it’s someone else dressing up as the fictional character but that’s not the point. Whilst I and my mom were sitting down on our table just after we arrived, the kids and their parents were making fun of my Rainbow Dash onesie I was wearing. I threaten to beat them up but my mom told me to behave, otherwise we go home. Then Elsa and Santa Clause came out for the show. I pushed the kids out the way and went up to Elsa and hugged her around her waist. Santa told me to get off her, so I told him to fuck off you fat old cunt and then I pressed me face on Elsa’s bosoms. Elsa screamed and Santa grabbed me by the neck, pushed me on the floor, and began beating me up. After we got kicked out the restaurant my mom said I was grounded for the rest of the Christmas holidays and that I wouldn’t be getting any presents. What makes it worse is that today she is still giving me a bollocking for what I did at that restaurant. Couldn’t she let it go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 Like your dick keith, you should also let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 This is dreadful , Keith. Life just seems to be an endless shit sandwich for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 Fuck off. This is really Frank, isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 Like your dick keith, you should also let it go. Card you look so cute, for Christmas XXX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 Fuck off. This is really Frank, isn't it? You have a point, the gayness, the queerness, it all fits, just like a 12 inch nobbly black cock dildo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 Card you look so cute, for Christmas XXX Its my melon hat. The cat scratched the fuck out of my hands while doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 So a couple of days ago, my Mom took me to the local Hungry Horse restaurant for a special Christmas event as I had a rough year getting banned from conventions and struggling to find employment. At the family restaurant they were presenting a show for the kids, starring Santa Claus and Elsa from Frozen. I was feeling ecstatic for this as it could be my first time to lose my virginity and out of all people it’s the sexy ice queen, even though in reality it’s someone else dressing up as the fictional character but that’s not the point. Whilst I and my mom were sitting down on our table just after we arrived, the kids and their parents were making fun of my Rainbow Dash onesie I was wearing. I threaten to beat them up but my mom told me to behave, otherwise we go home. Then Elsa and Santa Clause came out for the show. I pushed the kids out the way and went up to Elsa and hugged her around her waist. Santa told me to get off her, so I told him to fuck off you fat old cunt and then I pressed me face on Elsa’s bosoms. Elsa screamed and Santa grabbed me by the neck, pushed me on the floor, and began beating me up. After we got kicked out the restaurant my mom said I was grounded for the rest of the Christmas holidays and that I wouldn’t be getting any presents. What makes it worse is that today she is still giving me a bollocking for what I did at that restaurant. Couldn’t she let it go? Thank god there's no vid to go with this tale like normal Bronski experiences. That dancing one you did Bronski had a knock on effect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 You have a point, the gayness, the queerness, it all fits, just like a 12 inch nobbly black cock dildo. Hasn't quite nailed the tedious 'kill yourself' shite and the delusions of grandeur yet but otherwise spot on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 Keef do you have a noo years reso? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 Thank god there's no vid to go with this tale like normal Bronski experiences. That dancing one you did Bronski had a knock on effect. You are lighting the blue touch paper lambikins. Careful now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 Its the old story keith, happens to everyone. Don't let it get you down, this is christmas.... the prostitute with your virginity marked on her to-do list might be winging her way to your bedsit as we speak. If she is, remember the festive season and tip her £20 on top of her fee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 So a couple of days ago, my Mom took me to the local Hungry Horse restaurant for a special Christmas event as I had a rough year getting banned from conventions and struggling to find employment. At the family restaurant they were presenting a show for the kids, starring Santa Claus and Elsa from Frozen. I was feeling ecstatic for this as it could be my first time to lose my virginity and out of all people it’s the sexy ice queen, even though in reality it’s someone else dressing up as the fictional character but that’s not the point. Whilst I and my mom were sitting down on our table just after we arrived, the kids and their parents were making fun of my Rainbow Dash onesie I was wearing. I threaten to beat them up but my mom told me to behave, otherwise we go home. Then Elsa and Santa Clause came out for the show. I pushed the kids out the way and went up to Elsa and hugged her around her waist. Santa told me to get off her, so I told him to fuck off you fat old cunt and then I pressed me face on Elsa’s bosoms. Elsa screamed and Santa grabbed me by the neck, pushed me on the floor, and began beating me up. After we got kicked out the restaurant my mom said I was grounded for the rest of the Christmas holidays and that I wouldn’t be getting any presents. What makes it worse is that today she is still giving me a bollocking for what I did at that restaurant. Couldn’t she let it go? "Struggling to find employment?" Fuck right off, that would mean you are actually putting some effort into it. Sitting round your mum's in your Superman underoos waiting for your mum to tell you somebody will let you work isn't looking for a job. The rest is just complete shit. Even if Santa Claus was real, I could see him kicking fuck out of you, along with everybody else in the vicinity. You were probably experiencing dangerously high blood glucose levels from the never ending supply of candy going in robotic fashion hand to mouth, you were hallucinating it was Santa, when in reality, it was just some transient cunt you pushed and he kicked fuck out of you. Please die immediately! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 This is dreadful , Keith. Life just seems to be an endless shit sandwich for you. Yes, but he's making us all take a bite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Does incest not count as losing your virginity then Bronski ? Oooh and by way, the ice queen this year was Kelly Mahoney. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Its the old story keith, happens to everyone. Don't let it get you down, this is christmas.... the prostitute with your virginity marked on her to-do list might be winging her way to your bedsit as we speak. If she is, remember the festive season and tip her £20 on top of her fee. Fucking classy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Fucking classy! How else would you think I popped my own cherry, baws? Cash is king, and always get a professional. Keith should take heed and do it right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Keith should go to Amsterdam, by the sheer weight of numbers one of them would agree to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Like your dick keith, you should also let it go. Cardinal Sin, on 25 Dec 2014 - 9:52 PM, said: Like your dick keith, you should also let it go. eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 Cardinal Sin, on 25 Dec 2014 - 9:52 PM, said: Like your dick keith, you should also let it go. eh? He should let it go, (the experience), like his dick (which he is always holding) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 That story made me laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 28, 2014 Report Share Posted December 28, 2014 Yes, there's bound to be some moustachioed leather jock strapped fudge packer whore turned on by overweight unemployed British weirdos. You can just imagine the scene, some geezer with a Dutch accent saying 'go on Keith, fart, give us a clue'. Oh, here's a nice, warm and fuzzy projection for little fatso. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted December 28, 2014 Report Share Posted December 28, 2014 Forget the plane. It will crash into the sea, all but Keith will die and Brony will screw all the shrimp. Shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted December 30, 2014 Report Share Posted December 30, 2014 I found out what really happened Keith. Here is the awful truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted December 30, 2014 Report Share Posted December 30, 2014 Thank Christ. Can buy more seafood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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