Guest Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Work leaving do's are pitifully painful at my place. Everyone brings in a bit of snacky food and you sit around a table with awkward silences making little jokes and reminiscing about stuff that the newer employees in the group don't get. Insincere and frankly embarrassing emotional platitudes about the leavee, when the day before everyone was bitching about them. The compulsory tear in the corner of the eye, that may or may not have ever really been there. The card signed by everyone, to put a kiss or not put a kiss? The present - Christ, is that all the donations you could muster, and the worse bit, the final good bye (please, let it be over) as you scoot home, glad to get out of that place and into the welcoming arms of the of the MP3 player, leaving the washing up for some other fucker to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 "Leavee". Oh no you are talking American. Have you ever been burglarised? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Must be a case of kill your fucking selfReading the outline of events in the post I think that would be a good option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Leaving do's are bad, but retirement do's are a particularly hellish subset as you just know the cunts will be dead within a year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Leaving do's are bad, but retirement do's are a particularly hellish subset as you just know the cunts will be dead within a year. I've not been feeling well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Leaving do's are bad, but retirement do's are a particularly hellish subset as you just know the cunts will be dead within a year. we always invite past retired colleague cunts to the team christmas meal / piss up and proceedings always begin with the " let's see who's snuffed it " head count Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 I feel compelled to point out that, despite replicating it myself, there is no apostrophe in "dos". However, it just doesn't look right without one The same applies to the phrase do's and don'ts which should technically be written as dos and don'ts - but what's the point in knowing the rules if you can't choose when to break them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 This nom is as depressing as the one on cancer. Now I am going to need some Prozac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 This nom is as depressing as the one on cancer. Now I am going to need some Prozac. Can I recommend venlafaxine, it has a much bigger kick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Citalopram all the way. Smooth and steady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Does it work well with alcohol? I can't just give up drinking,you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Does it work well with alcohol? I can't just give up drinking,you know. I think the key is to drink responsibly as an excess of alcohol will reduce the efficacy of the drug, but hey, sometimes it good to be crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 I feel compelled to point out that, despite replicating it myself, there is no apostrophe in "dos". However, it just doesn't look right without one The same applies to the phrase do's and don'ts which should technically be written as dos and don'ts - but what's the point in knowing the rules if you can't choose when to break them? I'm no apostrophe expert, but surely do's is the plural of do and needing an apostrophe? Anyways, you're right, it looks like MS dos without one. Let's make our own rules on this one ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Work leaving do's are pitifully painful at my place. Everyone brings in a bit of snacky food and you sit around a table with awkward silences making little jokes and reminiscing about stuff that the newer employees in the group don't get. Insincere and frankly embarrassing emotional platitudes about the leavee, when the day before everyone was bitching about them. The compulsory tear in the corner of the eye, that may or may not have ever really been there. The card signed by everyone, to put a kiss or not put a kiss? The present - Christ, is that all the donations you could muster, and the worse bit, the final good bye (please, let it be over) as you scoot home, glad to get out of that place and into the welcoming arms of the of the MP3 player, leaving the washing up for some other fucker to do. This sounds somewhat autobiographical. Were you given your P45 again, Cat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 This sounds somewhat autobiographical. Were you given your P45 again, Cat? Cheeky monkey. It wasn't me leaving, but it was me giving my stock in trade 50% of what everyone else was giving to the present kitty . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Does it work well with alcohol? I can't just give up drinking,you know. No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Work leaving do's are pitifully painful at my place. Everyone brings in a bit of snacky food and you sit around a table with awkward silences making little jokes and reminiscing about stuff that the newer employees in the group don't get. Insincere and frankly embarrassing emotional platitudes about the leavee, when the day before everyone was bitching about them. The compulsory tear in the corner of the eye, that may or may not have ever really been there. The card signed by everyone, to put a kiss or not put a kiss? The present - Christ, is that all the donations you could muster, and the worse bit, the final good bye (please, let it be over) as you scoot home, glad to get out of that place and into the welcoming arms of the of the MP3 player, leaving the washing up for some other fucker to do. I worked in a place like this many years ago. Who the fuck thought up this way of seeing out a colleague for fuck sake ? Eating mini scotch eggs and quiche is no fucking way to do anything. Nowadays I just get right fucking on it in the pub asap after work. After I've drained my hipflask in my coffee too. And this has nothing to do with leaving do's either. I just go on my own when no one is leaving at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Your leaving do's sound shit. Leaving do's I've been to, everyone gets pissed and I fuck the office crumpet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2015 Report Share Posted January 17, 2015 Your leaving do's sound shit. Leaving do's I've been to, everyone gets pissed and I fuck the office crumpet. They are shit. We didn't even have a Christmas do this year because no one could be bothered to organise it. I organised it last year and had to witness my manager being rude and upperhanded to the waiting staff. I then had to eat a meal that had probably been pissed in by the chef. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 17, 2015 Report Share Posted January 17, 2015 I feel compelled to point out that, despite replicating it myself, there is no apostrophe in "dos". However, it just doesn't look right without one The same applies to the phrase do's and don'ts which should technically be written as dos and don'ts - but what's the point in knowing the rules if you can't choose when to break them? Hoots Mon! It's a braw, bricht, moonlicht nicht. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 17, 2015 Report Share Posted January 17, 2015 Merry christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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