Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 (edited) Whenever I invite someone round to my house for a meal, and they decide to "help" clean up, they invariably head for dishwasher.Truth is, it's more of an absolute and utter fucking hindrance than any kind of genuine assistance.Typical faux pas include:Throwing cutlery and serving spoons where the mugs and glasses go.Sticking entire fucking pans in there like some kind of slovenly animalRepeatedly dropping cutlery under the rack like a dyspraxic with Parkinsons and give up on retrieving itSpacing some plates and bowls so close together they touch and don't washSpacing other plates and bowls so far apart valuable spatial capacity is lostNot scraping anything so the filter clogs up with their half-eaten muckJust fucking sit down and wait for dessert you inadequate urchins. Edited May 28, 2015 by bill_stickers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 My friends say I don't use the dishwasher properly but that's not true.I don't have any friends. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest yariman Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 I don't have a dishwasher because firstly I'm a backwards northerner and have not yet evolved sufficiently to eat with anything other than my hands from roughly hewn vessels of clay, and secondly because I like wearing rubber gloves too much (fuck knows what that face is doing in my post...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 I know how to make my dishwasher work. A good bloody hiding and a damning of her eyes to go with it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 I don't have a dishwasher because firstly I'm a backwards northerner and have not yet evolved sufficiently to eat with anything other than my hands from roughly hewn vessels of clay, and secondly because I like wearing rubber gloves too much (fuck knows what that face is doing in my post...)Yazzer you barbarous she-northerner, when did your tribe of ferret fondlers develop rubber? I must have missed the update in National Geographic magazine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest yariman Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 Yazzer you barbarous she-northerner, when did your tribe of ferret fondlers develop rubber? I must have missed the update in National Geographic magazine.I have to barter for them when intrepid southerners brave the cobbles and dirt tracks to sell their new fangled wares. I keep them hidden when I'm not chained t'sink for fear of being accused a witch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 I have to barter for them when intrepid southerners brave the cobbles and dirt tracks to sell their new fangled wares. I keep them hidden when I'm not chained t'sink for fear of being accused a witch.I feel for you. When I used to live in Wortley a couple of years back, I once made the mistake of leaving my curtains open whilst watching colour tv. Before I could say By Gum, an angry mob had gathered demanding to know how I had bewitched the magic box to absorb the ancient powers of the rainbow. They ran me out of town and I haven't been back since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 Typical faux pas include:Throwing cutlery and serving spoons where the mugs and glasses go.Sticking entire fucking pans in there like some kind of slovenly animalRepeatedly dropping cutlery under the rack like a dyspraxic with Parkinsons and give up on retrieving itSpacing some plates and bowls so close together they touch and don't washSpacing other plates and bowls so far apart valuable spatial capacity is lostNot scraping anything so the filter clogs up with their half-eaten muckWhat fucking homosexuality is this? This is more anal than a Michael Barrymore pool party! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 Dishwashers? You decadent fuckers. Dishwashers are filthy, stinking things. I have to fix them occasionally at work, I really don't like them. I dont actualy mind doing the washing up at home, I tend to wash things as soon as I've finished with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 Apparently we have one in the kitchen. Wherever the fuck that is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 Wortley is a slum in Leeds.Were you on benefits in a Yorkshire shithole.?You miserable Yorkshire cunt.How can I explain this to you so your Tatler addled brain can understand it. Some people go to a place called university. Often this place is somewhere they do not live. Sometimes they like that place and decide to stay for a while.Secondly, just because you have lived somewhere, it doesn't mean you're from there. For example you live in a fairy tale world of fantasy and talk in incomprehensible riddling bollocks, but you're not Rumpelfuckingstiltskin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 Wortley is a slum in Leeds.Were you on benefits in a Yorkshire shithole.?You miserable Yorkshire cunt.So Spunky, what happened to the nom you posted a few night ago, where you managed to completely fuck up the title? You know, the one where you made some pathetic comment about lesbians and cucumbers? The one where you said you were pissed? Did you ask for it to be deleted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 lol.No-one is lolling you fucking cretin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 Very working class.I sometimes wonder if you're actually a semi-intelligent bot who spews out a small list of canned responses to human questioning.It seems this time, the algorithm has failed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 I imagine it was kindly deleted by Admin.I'd had a particularly good red.No doubt you were off your head on drugs again.Seek help!lol.It's a terrible shame it was deleted; I think it gave an interesting insight into what a complete fucking idiot you really are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 It's algebra you thick sod.I really hope this is what you call "a joke". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 I really hope this is what you call "a joke".No, he's not joking 'stickers, he's just very, very thick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 There arn't any decent Univesities in Leeds.You were probably studying sociology or drama and topped up your silly grant by giving cocksucking lessons in the local gay nightclubs.lol.What a spectacularly thick retort. Of course there isn't a decent university in Leeds, I hallucinated the whole thing, a clear case of mass delusion I obviously share with thousands of other former students. Fucking thick cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 There arn't any decent Univesities in Leeds.You were probably studying sociology or drama and topped up your silly grant by giving cocksucking lessons in the local gay nightclubs.lol.Your parents wasted their money on the costly education you claim to have received, didn't they. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest yariman Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 I really hope this is what you call "a joke".I really hope so too, what an absolute fucking bell-end. .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 There arn't any decent Univesities in Leeds.You were probably studying sociology or drama and topped up your silly grant by giving cocksucking lessons in the local gay nightclubs.lol.You mention gay nightclubs an awful lot Chimpcum. Hanging about outside peering in through the windows night after night isn't healthy. Pluck up the courage to walk in why don't you, and stop trying to make out that it's everybody else who's gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 You mention gay nightclubs an awful lot Chimpcum. Hanging about outside peering in through the windows night after night isn't healthy. Pluck up the courage to walk in why don't you, and stop trying to make out that it's everybody else who's gay.PunkApe, when you've got nobgobz, scotty, and Decimus putting their differences aside and forming an unholy alliance against you, you really must be a complete fucking cunt.Kill yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 I feel for you. When I used to live in Wortley a couple of years back, I once made the mistake of leaving my curtains open whilst watching colour tv. Before I could say By Gum, an angry mob had gathered demanding to know how I had bewitched the magic box to absorb the ancient powers of the rainbow. They ran me out of town and I haven't been back since. Only local people are allowed to "touch the precious things of the shop". You're lucky Tubbs and Edward didn't burn you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 No, he's not joking 'stickers, he's just very, very thick.Give Spunkers a break Ape.It can't be easy for him having the IQ of a fucking house brick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 Give Spunkers a break Ape.It can't be easy for him having the IQ of a fucking house brick.A horrendous insult to house bricks up and down the country. Withdraw that remark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.