Guest Lady Penelope Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 (edited) My neigbout has just bought one .. how the fuck do you drive the things without wanting to kill someone? Edited August 17, 2015 by Lady Penelope Quote
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 A friend of mine's grandmother was very deaf.She had always driven an automatic car. She then bought a manual, but was a bit senile and forgot.She proceeded to drive 15 minutes to the shops in first gear, but couldn't hear the engine over-revving. Car was absolutely fucked. Quote
Jiggerycock Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 My neigbout has just bought one .. how the fuck do you drive the things without wanting to kill someone?Is it fair to say that automatics grind your gears? Quote
Neil Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 I tell you what's really a cunt,I bought an XC90 auto and they've got a 'geartronic' box,why?? I'll drive it in auto because that's why I bought it but I'll be fucked if I'm going to slip it into 'manual' (albeit without having to use a clutch) and have to change the gears!,fucking Swedish cunts Quote
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 (edited) I tell you what's really a cunt,I bought an XC90 auto and they've got a 'geartronic' box,why?? I'll drive it in auto because that's why I bought it but I'll be fucked if I'm going to slip it into 'manual' (albeit without having to use a clutch) and have to change the gears!,fucking Swedish cunts You drive an auto?! You absolute fucking cunt Neil, you disappoint me.You must either be a yank, a pensioner, or suffered anxiety attacks during driving lessons as a youngster. Any of those things qualify you as a cunt. Edited August 17, 2015 by bill_stickers Quote
Decimus Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 You drive an auto?! You absolute fucking cunt Neil, you disappoint me.You must either be a yank, a pensioner, or suffered anxiety attacks during driving lessons as a youngster. Any of those things qualify you as a cunt.I'll hazard a guess its to keep his wanking hand free. Our Neil's a man of insatiable urges and loves danger tugging at 90mph. Quote
Guest nobgobbler Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 My new golf's an auto which you can stick in manual mode if you want. It's fucking brilliant. It lights your way, warns you when you're going to hit something, parks itself, knows its own way to the offy, and it wafts your farts. What more could a girl want? Quote
Jiggerycock Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 My new golf's an auto which you can stick in manual mode if you want. It's fucking brilliant. It lights your way, warns you when you're going to hit something, parks itself, knows its own way to the offy, and it wafts your farts. What more could a girl want?One that writes it's own letter of complaint when it develops a malfunction more serious than Orla Guerin describing the situation in Gaza Quote
Guest Gong Farmer Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 I'm too lazy to drive cars with manual gearboxes. Quote
Guest Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 (edited) according to the viz, one can make fellow motorists think they are behind an automatic car, by momentarily selecting reverse before pulling away. Edited August 17, 2015 by out_of_god Quote
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 I'm too lazy to drive cars with manual gearboxes. No doubt because you saw some clog-wearing cunt doing it. Quote
Guest Gong Farmer Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 No doubt because you saw some clog-wearing cunt doing it.Erm...... no. Quote
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 My new golf's an auto which you can stick in manual mode if you want. It's fucking brilliant. It lights your way, warns you when you're going to hit something, parks itself, knows its own way to the offy, and it wafts your farts. What more could a girl want?A gearknob? Quote
Cuntybaws Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 The electronic park brake is the greatest invention since the deep fried Mars Bar. Quote
Guest luke swarm Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 these extra functions on my clapped out Fiesta are covered by Mrs Swarm. My new golf's an auto which you can stick in manual mode if you want. It's fucking brilliant. It lights your way, warns you when you're going to hit something, parks itself, knows its own way to the offy, and it wafts your farts. What more could a girl want?these extra functions on my clapped out Fiesta are covered by Mrs Swarm. Quote
Neil Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 You drive an auto?! You absolute fucking cunt Neil, you disappoint me.You must either be a yank, a pensioner, or suffered anxiety attacks during driving lessons as a youngster. Any of those things qualify you as a cunt.I'll hazard a guess its to keep his wanking hand free. Our Neil's a man of insatiable urges and loves danger tugging at 90mph.Maybe its because I lost my left leg below the knee........................................................................................................................ Only kidding,I AM a cunt but once youve had an auto then clutches can suck my dick and yes Dec,why waste the dexterity of your left hand by having to fucking change gear,Mine must be the only Volvo with windscreen wipers on the inside 2 Quote
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 My new golf's an auto which you can stick in manual mode if you want. It's fucking brilliant. It lights your way, warns you when you're going to hit something, parks itself, knows its own way to the offy, and it wafts your farts. What more could a girl want?a 12 speed vibrating cushion? A retractable plastic phallus with interchangeable fist and auto lube feature? Quote
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 My new golf's an auto which you can stick in manual mode if you want. It's fucking brilliant. It lights your way, warns you when you're going to hit something, parks itself, knows its own way to the offy, and it wafts your farts. What more could a girl want?A Man to drive it properly?? Quote
Guest Gong Farmer Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 A Man to drive it properly??Haha! You'll go straight to hell for that one. Quote
Guest nobgobbler Posted August 17, 2015 Report Posted August 17, 2015 All run by the on board computer - no need for annoying batteries. Quote
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 18, 2015 Report Posted August 18, 2015 Maybe its because I lost my left leg below the knee........................................................................................................................You had me going there for a second Neil you fucking toad. Quote
Guest DingTheRioja Posted August 18, 2015 Report Posted August 18, 2015 My new golf's an auto which you can stick in manual mode if you want. It's fucking brilliant. It lights your way, warns you when you're going to hit something, parks itself, knows its own way to the offy, and it wafts your farts. What more could a girl want?A gearknob?One of those Golf ball gearknobs they used to have... all big and bumpy... eh? eh? nudge nudge...The electronic park brake is the greatest invention since the deep fried Mars Bar...until the fuse goes...Had to borrow an auto once from the pool at work when mine was in the garage... fooking hated it, you have fuck all control over the car, and if that kick-down shit comes in when your speeding up after a tight corner in the wet (FWD)..... may as well get out of the car and go jump in the fucking hedge... save a lot of expensive paintwork... Quote
scotty Posted August 18, 2015 Report Posted August 18, 2015 The sequence of thought when you get your first auto;Week 1What the fuck have I done? Week 2I suppose it's alright... Week 3Why the fuck do they even make manual gearboxes? Quote
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