Guest luke swarm Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 You seem to get this every autumn time..these arachnid cunts start throwing their webs across my hedges, gates and general access ways...every morning I seem to get one of these fucking web strands across my face and hair...its irritating and a right cunt to dislodge. After that I get into the car and fuck me if they haven't decided to set up home in my wing mirrors...no matter how many time you destroy the webs, the cunts rebuild it every morning.Why don't they give up and go somewhere sensible but no every fucking day its the same...irritating cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 You can lick 'em by smiling - or leave them to hang, apparently 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 fuck me if they haven't decided to set up home in my wing mirrors...no matter how many time you destroy the webs, the cunts rebuild it every morning.. Today's top tip - leave your car unattended anywhere in Liverpool for 5 minutes and you won't have to worry about spiders in your wing mirrors any more. As a bonus, this will also resolve any "spiders in your alloys" or "spiders in your car stereo" problems into the bargain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 Iron's nomination. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 Today's top tip - leave your car unattended anywhere in Liverpool for 5 minutes and you won't have to worry about spiders in your wing mirrors any more. As a bonus, this will also resolve any "spiders in your alloys" or "spiders in your car stereo" problems into the bargain.And here's another spider busting piece of advice. If your arsehole is ever infested with Arachnids, pop round to The Judges for a cup of tea. Your pipes will be spider free before the first custard cream has even passed your lips. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) Iron's nomination.Yes alright fucking Rocco, I'm sure you are a regular sexual tyrannosaurus instead of the lonely inadequate wanker we all had you down as. Edited September 8, 2015 by luke swarm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 Yes alright fucking Rocco, I'm sure you are a regular sexual tyrannosaurus instead of the lonely inadequate wanker we all had you down as. Are you having some kind of episode? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 Are you having some kind of episode? no more than the usual cider haze....been looking at profb contributions so still a little spaced out. be alright in a bit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 no more than the usual cider haze....been looking at profb contributions so still a little spaced out. be alright in a bitI think you could be on to something here, Swarmers. The corner could make an absolute fortune out of the sheep's inane drivel. Marketed as a new legal high, unrivalled in its psychogenic properties, Prof's posts could be projected onto screens at illegal raves at periodic intervals. The ravers would be tripping the light fantastic within four sentences of a Prof post onslaught, guaranteed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 I think you could be on to something here, Swarmers. The corner could make an absolute fortune out of the sheep's inane drivel. Marketed as a new legal high, unrivalled in its psychogenic properties, Prof's posts could be projected onto screens at illegal raves at periodic intervals. The ravers would be tripping the light fantastic within four sentences of a Prof post onslaught, guaranteed.Perhaps Norfolk would be a good place to trial it, plenty of illegals down that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 I've got one squatting in my left hand side car mirror. Fucking freeloader, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 Perhaps Norfolk would be a good place to trial it, plenty of illegals down that way. If you're referring to the incident with Neil and the Humboldt squid at Great Yarmouth Sea Life Centre, nothing was ever proven by the police. The numerous sucker wounds on his cock could have come from anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) Its those spiders with wings that are usually seen around this time that freeze my piss. I've just climbed into bed ready to start to read the 3rd instalment of 50 shades of grey, when one of these spindly cunts starts flitting around the bedside lamp. As soon as I go after it with a badminton racquet the bastard either disappears only to emerge when I get back into bed or hangs in the furthest corner of the room out of reach. All the windows are shut so how the fuck did it get in??? Edited September 8, 2015 by camberwell gypsy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 If you're referring to the incident with Neil and the Humboldt squid at Great Yarmouth Sea Life Centre, nothing was ever proven by the police. The numerous sucker wounds on his cock could have come from anywhere.Deccers, Neil's wife is fucking rotten to be fair, but there's no need for that. Even for the Corner, i find that pretty harsh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 I've got one squatting in my left hand side car mirror. Fucking freeloader,that would be the drivers side wing mirror then you cloggy bastard. Its those spiders with wings that are usually seen around this time that freeze my piss. I've just climbed into bed ready to start to read the 3rd instalment of 50 shades of grey, when one of these spindly cunts starts flitting around the bedside lamp. As soon as I go after it with a badminton racquet the bastard either disappears only to emerge when I get back into bed or hangs in the furthest corner of the room out of reach. All the windows are shut so how the fuck did it get in??? probably escaped from your smalls drawer. Are you feeling draughty downstairs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 If you're referring to the incident with Neil and the Humboldt squid at Great Yarmouth Sea Life Centre, nothing was ever proven by the police. The numerous sucker wounds on his cock could have come from anywhere.I fucking nearly choked on my nose bag when I started reading this,I WAS genuinely at the sea life centre last Friday!! (now you come to mention it the mouths on some of those fuckers are huge!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 no more than the usual cider haze....been looking at profb contributions so still a little spaced out. be alright in a bitLying cunt, you never recover from a ProfB Nom....I think you could be on to something here, Swarmers. The corner could make an absolute fortune out of the sheep's inane drivel. Marketed as a new legal high, unrivalled in its psychogenic properties, Prof's posts could be projected onto screens at illegal raves at periodic intervals. The ravers would be tripping the light fantastic within four sentences of a Prof post onslaught, guaranteed...and guaranteed lawsuits....Its those spiders with wings that are usually seen around this time that freeze my piss. I've just climbed into bed ready to start to read the 3rd instalment of 50 shades of grey, when one of these spindly cunts starts flitting around the bedside lamp. As soon as I go after it with a badminton racquet the bastard either disappears only to emerge when I get back into bed or hangs in the furthest corner of the room out of reach. All the windows are shut so how the fuck did it get in??? You open your purse?I fucking nearly choked on my nose bag when I started reading this,I WAS genuinely at the sea life centre last Friday!! (now you come to mention it the mouths on some of those fuckers are huge!!Bit of a waste on you then, having a mouth that big... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 I hate spiders with a passion. Especially themthem dangly long legged flying fuckers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 You can lick 'em by smiling - or leave them to hang, apparentlyZiggerycock? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 As long as the stealthy little cunts stay away from me, my pets, (and the wife, I suppose) they are allowed to live, free to pursue a life of arachnid fulfillment. That, however is rarely the case. The creeping little cunts have had a nibble on numerous occasions so I steam them to an awfully painful demise with the tea kettle spout. I take no mercy on the sacks of young ones, either. They too meet with a gruesome end. They belong outdoors feasting upon flies and other insects and bugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 And here's another spider busting piece of advice. If your arsehole is ever infested with Arachnids, pop round to The Judges for a cup of tea. Your pipes will be spider free before the first custard cream has even passed your lips.Forgive me if i divert attention from your stalker-like obsession with my winkle activity but any cunt who brings one of those bastards round to my drum will get a bread knife in their throat. I have faced Hells Angels, Millwall and the ICF but nothing is guaranteed to reduce me to a terrified little girl more than a fucking arachnid. I can't even say or write the S word........it makes me feel sick with fear. One time i was staying in a hotel and i came out of the shower to find a huge arachnid scuttling across the carpet. Obviously i couldn't jump on it with bare feet so i had to watch it escape under the bed. I spent 2 hours looking for the fucker before i went to reception and asked for another room. They thought i was a raving poof but fortunately they had another room. if they hadn't i would have headed for the nearest park bench. I have no idea where this morbid fear comes from but i note that others have a similar fear of Crane Flies. I can see the similarities but, strangely enough, i can pick those up in my hand and drop them out of the window. None of it makes any sense to me but it's there and there's fuck all i can do about it. Somebody recently told me that they hate the smell of Horse Chestnuts and if you spread them around it keeps the cunts out. It's probably total bullshit but i'm going to try it anyway. Fuck me i'd spread horseshit around the house if i thought it would keep those bastards away from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 I am no great fan of the cunts myself. They just discovered this new species here, a giant trapdoor spider. Fuck that. Fuck that 1000%. And they are poisonous to boot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 I am no great fan of the cunts myself. They just discovered this new species here, a giant trapdoor spider. Fuck that. Fuck that 1000%. And they are poisonous to boot.Would that be that "red fanged" cunt that the presenters were on about? Ugly cunting thing, that! Then you have that bird eating bastard, the size of a judge's latex fist power tool attachment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 Yeah, thats the one. In Melbourne we have trapdoor spiders, not poisonous, but big fat ugly cunts with big fangs. if i dig a hole for any purpose in the backyard, I usually disturb one of these angry looking bastards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 9, 2015 Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 Yeah, thats the one. In Melbourne we have trapdoor spiders, not poisonous, but big fat ugly cunts with big fangs. if i dig a hole for any purpose in the backyard, I usually disturb one of these angry looking bastardsWhy would you be digging a hole in the backyard, southern? And on a side note, where has your mrs got to lately? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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