Guest MikeD Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 The latest craze for kids and cunts and apparently this years must-have Xmas present. The only drawback is that dodgy, cheap ones can catch fire or blow-up, hurting or possibly killing the user. I've never before considered giving my mate's five year old son, who is a horrible little cunt, a Christmas present before but you know, times change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 I hate to come over all Frank and namedrop places I have been but anyway here goes. Flew back from a minibreak in Dubai yesterday and yes every cheap shop selling tacky touristy shite are flogging these contraptions....they look cheap and nasty and inherently unsafe. Apparently they have now been put on the customs black list and are being confiscated at customs. As you say though, an ideal gift for that person in your life who you no longer wish to have in your life. I have brought over a couple and am looking forward to Mrs Swarm and her Mother test driving theirs as soon as the insurance policy becomes live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 11 minutes ago, luke swarm said: I hate to come over all Frank and namedrop places I have been but anyway here goes. Flew back from a minibreak in Dubai yesterday and yes every cheap shop selling tacky touristy shite are flogging these contraptions....they look cheap and nasty and inherently unsafe. Apparently they have now been put on the customs black list and are being confiscated at customs. As you say though, an ideal gift for that person in your life who you no longer wish to have in your life. I have brought over a couple and am looking forward to Mrs Swarm and her Mother test driving theirs as soon as the insurance policy becomes live. How did you get them through customs? Your modus operandi of stuffing anything and everything up your arsehole, or did you try something novel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 11 minutes ago, luke swarm said: I hate to come over all Frank and namedrop places I have been but anyway here goes. It's places Frank hasn't been he likes to namedrop, so don't worry.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 5 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: How did you get them through customs? Your modus operandi of stuffing anything and everything up your arsehole, or did you try something novel? And it was a bloody uncomfortable journey back I can tell you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 4 minutes ago, luke swarm said: And it was a bloody uncomfortable journey back I can tell you. That's why I always travel with The Judge. The weight limit on baggage is ridiculously low, so it's handy that his prolapsed, baggy arsehole is capacious enough to store an extra 20kgs after a depraved life time of getting mercilessly buggered through glory holes. The downside is I'm losing more than I gain, as we have to go halves on the extra seat that the disgustingly fat cunt inevitably needs on the plane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 2 minutes ago, Decimus said: That's why I always travel with The Judge. The weight limit on baggage is ridiculously low, so it's handy that his prolapsed, baggy arsehole is capacious enough to store an extra 20kgs after a depraved life time of getting mercilessly buggered through glory holes. The downside is I'm losing more than I gain, as we have to go halves on the extra seat that the disgustingly fat cunt inevitably needs on the plane. I thought you were going to mention the cost of the Cave Rescue staff to retrieve your goods...?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 Why has a hover-board got wheels? Maybe it should be called a wheel-board. Still it will look great as I ride it around, resplendent in my fluorescent invisibility cloak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 1 minute ago, Manky said: Why has a hover-board got wheels? Maybe it should be called a wheel-board. Still it will look great as I ride it around, resplendent in my fluorescent invisibility cloak. Well the user will hover at a great fucking height when it blows up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 17 minutes ago, Decimus said: That's why I always travel with The Judge. The weight limit on baggage is ridiculously low, so it's handy that his prolapsed, baggy arsehole is capacious enough to store an extra 20kgs after a depraved life time of getting mercilessly buggered through glory holes. The downside is I'm losing more than I gain, as we have to go halves on the extra seat that the disgustingly fat cunt inevitably needs on the plane. Kofta airways really need to look seriously at their baggage allowance Decs.....you should complain to their CEO, Captain Stav Ross. The amount of business the Judge puts their way you would think he would get an automatic upgrade into Shish class every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 50 minutes ago, Decimus said: That's why I always travel with The Judge. The weight limit on baggage is ridiculously low, so it's handy that his prolapsed, baggy arsehole is capacious enough to store an extra 20kgs after a depraved life time of getting mercilessly buggered through glory holes. The downside is I'm losing more than I gain, as we have to go halves on the extra seat that the disgustingly fat cunt inevitably needs on the plane. Mrs C'fingers, being a utter retard, and despite running a tech company, declared the other week that actual hoverboards did exist and some cunt in a LA airport was nicked for enfringing on some shit on one, presumably Michael J Fox. Fucking stupid shit. One wheeled skateboards. Hoverboards my ring Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 8 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Mrs C'fingers, being a utter retard, and despite running a tech company Being a self employed mature sex-cam worker online does not count as running a tech company. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 Just seen a picture of one. The cunts have headlights. That will come in useful if I decide to nip over Snake Pass to Sheffield one December evening. I can see my ACME anti-hover-board baseball bat getting an airing some time soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 1 minute ago, Bill Stickers said: Being a self employed mature sex-cam worker online does not count as running a tech company. Fuck Off Stickers, that special interest website helped me thru some pretty rough times......every one of us from time to time yearns to have carnal relations with fat sweaty unwashed northern slappers.....no don't deny it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 2 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: Being a self employed mature sex-cam worker online does not count as running a tech company. The moon is not made of cheese. The French are all faggots. One cannot breathe water. Though I would heartily recommend that you try for at least 22 minutes in the interest of curtailing this self evident, pedantic cunt-parping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 6 minutes ago, Manky said: Just seen a picture of one. The cunts have headlights. That will come in useful if I decide to nip over Snake Pass to Sheffield one December evening. I can see my ACME anti-hover-board baseball bat getting an airing some time soon. Who are you , the Roadrunner? Beepbeeping bird cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 17 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Mrs C'fingers, being a utter retard, and despite running a tech company, declared the other week that actual hoverboards did exist and some cunt in a LA airport was nicked for enfringing on some shit on one, presumably Michael J Fox. Fucking stupid shit. One wheeled skateboards. Hoverboards my ring That shaking cunt wouldn't get a foot on a hoverboard these days. Although, I've heard from a reliable source that he gives an absolutely shit hot handjob. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 6 minutes ago, Decimus said: That shaking cunt wouldn't get a foot on a hoverboard these days. Although, I've heard from a reliable source that he gives an absolutely shit hot handjob. He's one twitching cunt. He should fuck off back to the future for a cure, and fucking stay there the shit cunt, preferably at the exact time that the sun goes supernova Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 17 minutes ago, Decimus said: That shaking cunt wouldn't get a foot on a hoverboard these days. Although, I've heard from a reliable source that he gives an absolutely shit hot handjob. Apparently, he accompanies U2 on tour these days. With uber-cunt Bono being so concerned with global warming, to stop using so much electricity on their light show, they stand Michael J Fox to the side of the stage with a couple of laser pens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 2 minutes ago, nocti said: Apparently, he accompanies U2 on tour these days. With uber-cunt Bono being so concerned with global warming, to stop using so much electricity on their light show, they stand Michael J Fox to the side of the stage with a couple of laser pens. He should set his laser pens to 'kill' and have a good think about Bonehead shagging his missus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 4 hours ago, Ape said: It's places Frank hasn't been he likes to namedrop, so don't worry.... Ahhh, So that's why he never talks about fucking blokes up the arse. Thanks for clearing that up, Ape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 Does anybody remember that scene from the film Manhunter where that bloke is hurtling down a car park ramp in a wheelchair on fire? That's what will be happening all over the UK on Christmas day. But with hover boards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 Other than a parachute what else would you want to take on a aeroplane with you................you know, just in case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 2 hours ago, Decimus said: That shaking cunt wouldn't get a foot on a hoverboard these days. Although, I've heard from a reliable source that he gives an absolutely shit hot handjob. Oh FFS you terrible cunt lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MikeD Posted December 3, 2015 Report Share Posted December 3, 2015 3 hours ago, Decimus said: That shaking cunt wouldn't get a foot on a hoverboard these days. Although, I've heard from a reliable source that he gives an absolutely shit hot handjob. I heard that he went for the Tom Cruise part in a remake of Cocktail but when they had him mixing the drinks things kind of went downhill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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