Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 28, 2017 Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 How do you kill a hundred flies at once? Smash an Ethiopian in the face with a fry pan. What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boys face until after he's thirteen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 28, 2017 Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 A smoking hot girl walks into a bar. A guy at the bar says, "Wow, you're gonna get laid tonight!" She replies, "Hehe, how do you know?" And he replies, "Because I'm stronger than you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 The woman asks "Why does lady Di have such a large halo"? And God says "That's not a halo! That's a steering wheel"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 What's black and white and red all over? An interracial abortion. What do you do after you rape a deaf mute? break her fingers so she can't tell anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 @Punkape What did Jesus do when he got to the Holiday Inn? He threw some nails down on the counter and asked, “Can you put me up for the night?” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mingeeta Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 Breaking News. Police have arrested Gary Glitter once again. They found Class A drugs in his living room. Class B drugs in his bathroom. And Class 5C in his bedroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mingeeta Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 Whats the difference between Gary Glitter and a racing greyhound? A greyhound waits for the hare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mingeeta Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 What's hit more balls than David Beckhams right foot? Elton Johns chin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 I told my mate the old joke, "what do you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath?..........throw your washing in." He just scowled and said "that's in very poor taste. My brother was an epileptic, and he died last week in our bathtub." "I'm sorry," I replied. "Did he slip and bang his head?" He said "no, he choked on one of my socks." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 31, 2017 Report Share Posted July 31, 2017 So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back… Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient. 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday? By putting flowers on the grave. What do Sarah Palin and Iron Man have in common? They both had a Downey Jr. inside of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 This is the sickest joke I know. Why should you put a baby into a liquidiser feet first? So you can look into its eyes while masturbating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 5 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: This is the sickest joke I know. Why should you put a baby into a liquidiser feet first? So you can look into its eyes while masturbating. Fucking hell. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 Just now, southerncunt said: Fucking hell. I was told it by a sweet old fucking lady! Thanks mum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 14 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: This is the sickest joke I know. Why should you put a baby into a liquidiser feet first? So you can look into its eyes while masturbating. What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 2 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it. This is terrible, Bill. While Aflie's baby joke was just as bad and completely unoriginal, I didn't expect you to sink to similar depths of painfully unfunny, prosaic shite. Up your game, please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 "Fucking kids are expensive," I said. "Is," replied my lawyer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 5 minutes ago, Wolfie said: This is terrible, Bill. While Aflie's baby joke was just as bad and completely unoriginal, I didn't expect you to sink to similar depths of painfully unfunny, prosaic shite. Up your game, please. Fuck off you prude and go to mumsnet where you obviously belong. This is the sickipedia thread, you know sick jokes? 1 minute ago, Bubba C said: "Fucking kids are expensive," I said. "Is," replied my lawyer. Is this a trap? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 18 minutes ago, Wolfie said: This is terrible, Bill. While Aflie's baby joke was just as bad and completely unoriginal, I didn't expect you to sink to similar depths of painfully unfunny, prosaic shite. Up your game, please. Thanks for the feedback. I'll hope you'll excuse my whilst I go and shove it right up punkapes baggy arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 13 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: Fuck off you prude and go to mumsnet where you obviously belong. This is the sickipedia thread, you know sick jokes? It's hardly surprising to see such unoriginal anal discharge from one of the site's most bland and obviously insipid people in you. Since joining, I recognise there are some very funny and talented people here. You are not one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 16 minutes ago, Wolfie said: It's hardly surprising to see such unoriginal anal discharge from one of the site's most bland and obviously insipid people in you. Since joining, I recognise there are some very funny and talented people here. You are not one of them. You certainly have brought nothing with you that resembles humour. Nothing of interest. Non descript. Utterly boring. Nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 8 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: You certainly have brought nothing with you that resembles humour. Nothing of interest. Non descript. Utterly boring. Nothing. Thanks for the advice, Alf. It's just as well I value your opinion so highly. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 18 minutes ago, Wolfie said: It's hardly surprising to see such unoriginal anal discharge from one of the site's most bland and obviously insipid people in you. Since joining, I recognise there are some very funny and talented people here. You are not one of them. Nope, still nothing. You may as well leave, you are a non entity, a no hoper, one of life's biggest losers. Very dim and very beige. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 Just now, Wolfie said: Thanks for the advice, Alf. It's just as well I value your opinion so highly. Still, I don't give a flying or stationary fuck, your opinion is as nothing to me too, kind of cancels it out, Marlon Blando. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 5 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: Still, I don't give a flying or stationary fuck, your opinion is as nothing to me too, kind of cancels it out, Marlon Blando. So a trans-dimensional fuck is still on the table then? You kinky bastard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 20 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: Still, I don't give a flying or stationary fuck, your opinion is as nothing to me too, kind of cancels it out, Marlon Blando. But you do give a fuck, Alf – which is why you're obviously upset. I didn't realise the truth in my original comment affected you so harshly, and precisely why you've responded several times to it. From now I will treat your shortcomings with a little more understanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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