Elvis

[Frank]

7 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

It's strange how everything you can conceivably think of has already been done by someone else online...

I can't imagine Mike with shoulders. I'll draw something to scale. 

[Guest MikeD]

3 hours ago, Frank said:

You might be right, spot. I could add a 'hey!' at the end of each line and perhaps a little Mediterranean feel in the chorus, like Joe Dolce's 'Shaddap You Face'...

mike's a fucking-a cunt.. hey! he make-a me sick, why he is so small.. hey! weeny walnut head, it's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place, ahhh he got a walnut-a head. 

You sad, predictable bastard.

[Decimus]

3 minutes ago, MikeD said:

You sad, predictable bastard.

Shut your fucking mouth, Mike, you tiny, pipistrelle -pipsqueak ponce

[Guest MikeD]

2 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Shut your fucking mouth, Mike, you tiny, pipistrelle -pipsqueak ponce

Or what?

Grow up, you fucking baby.

[Frank]

8 minutes ago, MikeD said:

You sad, predictable bastard.

I know, Mike.. we all got up this morning whistling that tune. 

Only a website. 

[Guest MikeD]

Just now, Frank said:

I know, Mike.. we all got up this morning whistling that tune. 

Only a website. 

Your tune's the same every fucking time, you should just copy and paste.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

You seem genuinely rattled Mike. Is it the walnut bit, or the part about you being a dumpy insignificant little whelk?

[Decimus]

1 minute ago, Bill Stickers said:

You seem genuinely rattled Mike. Is it the walnut bit, or the part about you being a dumpy insignificant little whelk?

It's that classic story of Short Man Syndrome, Bill. Mike was in his local pub last night, and was emasculated in public when his civil partner picked him up and put him in a high-chair. He's been furious ever since.

[Guest MikeD]

7 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

You seem genuinely rattled Mike. Is it the walnut bit, or the part about you being a dumpy insignificant little whelk?

Bored shitless more like.

Anything new?

[Eddie]

21 minutes ago, Frank said:

I know, Mike.. we all got up this morning whistling that tune. 

Only a website. 

Write the theme tune, sing the theme tune...

[Decimus]

37 minutes ago, Frank said:

I know, Mike.. we all got up this morning whistling that tune. 

Only a website. 

I can imagine Mike going to bed in his Sylvanian Families doll house, rocking back and forth on his tiny bed, muttering "it's only a website...it's only a website" whilst being terrorised by ghostly flying images of your avatar.

[Guest MikeD]

6 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I can imagine Mike going to bed in his Sylvanian Families doll house, rocking back and forth on his tiny bed, muttering "it's only a website...it's only a website" whilst being terrorised by ghostly flying images of your avatar.

I think that's all you do.

I'll take it as a compliment, I've never had so much attention.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

30 minutes ago, MikeD said:

Bored shitless more like.

Anything new?

Mike, this website is the biggest thing, perhaps even only thing, in your miserable fucking excuse for a life.

Much like life in general, your presence on this site would not be missed. 

[Guest MikeD]

Just now, Bill Stickers said:

Mike, this website is the biggest thing, perhaps even only thing, in your miserable fucking excuse for a life.

Much like life in general, your presence on this site would not be missed. 

So no, nothing new then.

Are you hoping i'll have a meltdown and leave?

Guess what cunt? You and your boyfriends will have a long wait so fucking fire away.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

3 minutes ago, MikeD said:

So no, nothing new then.

Are you hoping i'll have a meltdown and leave?

Guess what cunt? You and your boyfriends will have a long wait so fucking fire away.

It fills my heart with joy when I see you've responded to one of my posts. We have a sweepstake running via PM at the minute - will Mike talk about how he's not going anywhere, or about how height isn't a barrier in the professional world.

[Bubba C]

2 minutes ago, MikeD said:

You and your boyfriends will have a long wait so fucking fire away.

It's odd, Mike, your mum said something similar last night at the bukkake bash. 

At least I think that's what she said, after all she did have a cocktail of jizz coming out of every orifice on her body. 

[Guest MikeD]

Just now, Bill Stickers said:

It fills my heart with joy when I see you've responded to one of my posts. We have a sweepstake running via PM at the minute - will Mike talk about how he's not going anywhere, or about how height isn't a barrier in the professional world.

I do enjoy our little chats.

[Guest MikeD]

2 minutes ago, Bubbles said:

It's odd, Mike, your mum said something similar last night at the bukkake bash. 

At least I think that's what she said, after all she did have a cocktail of jizz coming out of every orifice on her body. 

Tears mixed with spunk must be a fucker to clean up.

How do you manage?

[Eddie]

1 minute ago, Properkhunt said:

You are not well. Queer tendencies towards Eddie and now juvenile quips about other cunts mum's, with bukkake connotations. Buubles, are you a DBS dodging fucker?

I must be sending out mixed messages proper, that monumental cunt is imagining my arse crack and bubbles is smitten. Dirty fucking bum fun boys.

[Decimus]

20 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

It fills my heart with joy when I see you've responded to one of my posts. We have a sweepstake running via PM at the minute - will Mike talk about how he's not going anywhere, or about how height isn't a barrier in the professional world.

Which reminds me, the 1000000-1 bet that you made regarding Mike saying something remotely funny by 2020 doesn't look like it's got much chance of coming in.

[Guest MikeD]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Which reminds me, the 1000000-1 bet that you made regarding Mike saying something remotely funny by 2020 doesn't look like it's got much chance of coming in.

I'll expect your usual like when it happens, depending on what mood you're in of course.

 

[Decimus]

1 minute ago, MikeD said:

I'll expect your usual like when it happens, depending on what mood you're in of course.

 

Mike, you've been told before to only speak when you are spoken to.

You've been getting rather excitable of late, and I'm seriously considering writing a strongly worded letter to your civil partner to tell him to stop giving you smarties in between meals. It's clear by your hyperactive flitting about from post to post that you're tiny body cannot handle the E numbers.

[Guest MikeD]

1 minute ago, Decimus said:

Mike, you've been told before to only speak when you are spoken to.

You've been getting rather excitable of late, and I'm seriously considering writing a strongly worded letter to your civil partner to tell him to stop giving you smarties in between meals. It's clear by your hyperactive flitting about from post to post that you're tiny body cannot handle the E numbers.

And I believe you've been told before, fuck off.

Now, run along like a good little hubby, that cooking and cleaning won't do itself.

[Cuntybaws]

55 minutes ago, Decimus said:

You've been getting rather excitable of late, and I'm seriously considering writing a strongly worded letter to your civil partner to tell him to stop giving you smarties in between meals. It's clear by your hyperactive flitting about from post to post that you're tiny body cannot handle the E numbers.

Those aren't Smarties, you fool. they're steroids. You'll be sorry for all those jibes about walnuts when you're getting your arse kicked.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

8 hours ago, Frank said:

You might be right, spot. I could add a 'hey!' at the end of each line and perhaps a little Mediterranean feel in the chorus, like Joe Dolce's 'Shaddap You Face'...

mike's a fucking-a cunt.. hey! he make-a me sick, why he is so small.. hey! weeny walnut head, it's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place, ahhh he got a walnut-a head. 

Fucking good work Frank.