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Cunts who don't play golf


Earl of Punkape

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19 minutes ago, Punkape said:

I'm a category 1 golfer....

There's nothing worse than a golf snob,encountered many a cunt in my time,pay their subs and think they own the place,I've been working on a golf clubhouse for the last 6 weeks and never have I seen  such a plethora of 'up their own arse' wankers."Are you a member?" "No I pay a green fee" cue some twat looking at you as if you've just rubbed dog shit under their nose,self important cunts the lot of 'em.Punk? Was that you playing 5 off the tee on the 1st the other day you useless cunt?

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9 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

The monkey has a typewriter but we're still waiting for Shakespeare. 

Tbh baws, I've always thought that any monkey with a typewriter could turn out better stuff than Shakespeare ever did. What a fucking overrated cunt he was. 

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Guest luke swarm
1 minute ago, neil298 said:

There's nothing worse than a golf snob,encountered many a cunt in my time,pay their subs and think they own the place,I've been working on a golf clubhouse for the last 6 weeks and never have I seen  such a plethora of 'up their own arse' wankers."Are you a member?" "No I pay a green fee" cue some twat looking at you as if you've just rubbed dog shit under their nose,self important cunts the lot of 'em.Punk? Was that you playing 5 off the tee on the 1st the other day you useless cunt?

don't encourage him Neil.....he is as foreign to a golf course as Frank is to a holiday home in France. 

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1 minute ago, neil298 said:

There's nothing worse than a golf snob,encountered many a cunt in my time,pay their subs and think they own the place,I've been working on a golf clubhouse for the last 6 weeks and never have I seen  such a plethora of 'up their own arse' wankers."Are you a member?" "No I pay a green fee" cue some twat looking at you as if you've just rubbed dog shit under their nose,self important cunts the lot of 'em.Punk? Was that you playing 5 off the tee on the 1st the other day you useless cunt?

So you're a common tradesman.

That explains a lot.

You wouldn't get into my club because you're working class. Simples.

Now go and get your shinebox!

lol.

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32 minutes ago, Punkape said:

 

2 minutes ago, Punkape said:

So you're a common tradesman.

That explains a lot.

You wouldn't get into my club because you're working class. Simples.

Now go and get your shinebox!

lol.

The funniest thing is watching the cunts afterwards putting their clubs into their 53 plate Vauxhall,total fantasists

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Guest Ollyboro
1 hour ago, Brucey said:

Shut up, Olly, you northern serf.

Your writing style has  been bugging me for a couple of seconds; I now know why it's so familiar. It reminds me of a TV news report on high achievers from Norfolk. The report focused on a particularly dull witted chimpanzee smearing his own shit on a broken Etch-A -Sketch.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
2 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

Your writing style has  been bugging me for a couple of seconds; I now know why it's so familiar. It reminds me of a TV news report on high achievers from Norfolk. The report focused on a particularly dull witted chimpanzee smearing his own shit on a broken Etch-A -Sketch.

Cock fucking queer.

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Guest Ollyboro
4 minutes ago, Brucey said:

Olly, like Ding, you must have read the entire back catalogue of Tin Tin and Harriet the Spy. It's the only logical explanation as to how you could have deduced my true identity. I'm not sure how I ever hoped to stay under the radar when I knew I would be heavily scrutinised by the brightest minds in the north of England.

Have a gold star, you clever cunt.

I'm afraid you've got me there. Who are you? You come across as a nobody.

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You only took up golf because Mr Fairburn, the PE master at Stonyhurst wouldn't let you near the Rugby field after the incident when you entered the ruck from the wrong angle. Too weedy for BAGA gymnastics, it was either half-a-dozen ferrules or golf with Brother Dominic a buggering off whom was infinitely more preferable than any real manly physical exercise.

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Guest DingTheRioja
On 05/06/2016 at 9:36 PM, Punkape said:

You're so thick and ill informed.

Really? What about this...?

On 05/06/2016 at 6:52 PM, Punkape said:

Gambas prawns, fillet of roast beef , creme brûlée and a wonderful cheeseboard. This was washed down with 3 pints of continental lager, several glasses of Macon and a bottle of our excellent club claret.

 

On 05/06/2016 at 10:00 PM, neil298 said:

Vauxhalls

Or a bottom of the range 57 plate 3 series... with technika stereo...

 

On 05/06/2016 at 9:57 PM, Punkape said:

 Simples.

Lost.

 

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Guest Bill Stickers
9 hours ago, DingTheRioja said:

Really? What about this...?

 

Or a bottom of the range 57 plate 3 series... with technika stereo...

 

Lost.

 

Your worst, and most pointless multi quote effort to date. Read it back to yourself. Urchin.

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Guest DingTheRioja
8 hours ago, Bill Stickers said:

Your worst, and most pointless multi quote effort to date. Read it back to yourself. Urchin.

Christ, you are a fucking moron aren't you?

Can you try, at least once in your miserable existence, to actually say something other than "you're shit"...?

 

If not, fuck off.

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Guest luke swarm
21 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

Christ, you are a fucking moron aren't you?

Can you try, at least once in your miserable existence, to actually say something other than "you're shit"...?

 

If not, fuck off.

fair call though Ding...you are quite shit. Well quite a lot shit to be brutally honest. 

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Guest DingTheRioja
8 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

fair call though Ding...you are quite shit. Well quite a lot shit to be brutally honest. 

Fucking yawn.

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Guest Bill Stickers
40 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

Christ, you are a fucking moron aren't you?

Can you try, at least once in your miserable existence, to actually say something other than "you're shit"...?

 

If not, fuck off.

Pile of shit. 

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On 5 June 2016 at 6:52 PM, Punkape said:

What a wonderful game and how delightful to play today in a club match against like-minded opponents.

This was followed by smoked salmon and Gambas prawns, fillet of roast beef , creme brûlée and a wonderful cheeseboard. This was washed down with 3 pints of continental lager, several glasses of Macon and a bottle of our excellent club claret.

I'm doing exactly the same thing next Sunday in another club match.

 

Macon Village grape was fabulous last year and the wine it produced was excellent.   However I find your washing it down with salmon, beef, prawn, creme brûlée, totally distaceful.  How you could ruin such fine wine by drinking it wearing a Pringle jumper is beyond me.

i find all Golfers complete cunts who are distasteful vessels of shit.  They are all pompous, pretentious, masterbatory and talk wank whilst dressed like coco the clown walking round a field looking for endless lost little white balls.

The only good thing that golf gives the world is the 4 hours every Sunday when I can pop round and destroy the shit out of my neighbours wife, whilst he's tossing himself off in the club shower with the chief constable.

50 years ago in America 30 white guys chasing a black cunt around a field was called the KKK.  Now it's called the Masters.

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On 5 June 2016 at 6:52 PM, Punkape said:

What a wonderful game and how delightful to play today in a club match against like-minded opponents.

This was followed by smoked salmon and Gambas prawns, fillet of roast beef , creme brûlée and a wonderful cheeseboard. This was washed down with 3 pints of continental lager, several glasses of Macon and a bottle of our excellent club claret.

I'm doing exactly the same thing next Sunday in another club match.

 

Punk.....can I ask you a question.  How many other clubs allow Thalidomide wheel chair cunts to churn up their course?  Do you have a putter like that cunt  Sam Torrence because of your short flid arms? It must be like watching a group of T Rex sat in wheel chairs with putters clenched in their spazy grip, on a crazy golf course.  Is your handicap.....You.

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