Jake The Muss Posted December 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 14 hours ago, Gronda Gronda said: When England lose to Australia, the Australians that I know eagerly ask me what I thought of the cricket. With their face contorted into a smug grin, they laugh in anticipation of my resentment. I'd be more perturbed if England lost a game of tiddlywinks. Cricket and golf might be fun to play, but how can anyone enjoy watching either on the telly? Why would anybody want to watch anything on TV ? i guess we love punishment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 7 minutes ago, applescruff14 said: Its all too late now, 2-0 tomorrow We have a chance if we bat properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 2 minutes ago, Fender777 said: We have a chance if we bat properly. No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 Just now, applescruff14 said: No. I think we do, i don't rate the Aussies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 Just now, Fender777 said: I think we do, i don't rate the Aussies. I do against England as we are shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 Just now, applescruff14 said: I do against England as we are shite. I agree we are not all that...but neither are they and if we get some momentum going like we have in the last few sessions, then i think they're there for the taking. If we pull this one off then we will win the ashes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 1 hour ago, applescruff14 said: Wicketless morning? You need to see a Doctor quick! Or get yourself up your local A&E and fast, sounds like a brain problem. Jesus somersaulting Christ, Apple, where's your spunk!? It's El Alamein! It's 1942 ! It's Applescruff running in the opposite direction! You fight until you're 6 feet under - and even then you bite the cunt's ankles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 2 hours ago, applescruff14 said: Yes it would and today I had a pleasant surprise in the hairdressers with a woman about my age who cut my hair, was talking to her about the cricket and when I was in Australia visiting the grounds. She was asking me about my personal life and everything. I tried delving into her personal life and found she lived with her kids but no mention of a bloke but couldn't get any further, let her keep the £3 change. Comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. You're a fucking weird cunt, Scruffers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 3 hours ago, Fender777 said: I agree we are not all that...but neither are they and if we get some momentum going like we have in the last few sessions, then i think they're there for the taking. If we pull this one off then we will win the ashes. That's rubbish and you know it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 2 hours ago, nocti said: You're a fucking weird cunt, Scruffers. I don't need reminding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 18 minutes ago, applescruff14 said: That's rubbish and you know it. I'm being serious, the Aussies are not that much in my opinion, if England apply themselves and get some good sessions then i think the Aussie shitcunts will feel the pressure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gronda Gronda Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 4 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: Jesus somersaulting Christ, Apple, where's your spunk!? It's El Alamein! It's 1942 ! It's Applescruff running in the opposite direction! You fight until you're 6 feet under - and even then you bite the cunt's ankles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 On 04/12/2017 at 11:44 PM, Jiggerycock said: Never! I had you pegged as a swaggering 'David Watts' kinda dude! The Kinks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 8 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: Jesus somersaulting Christ, Apple, where's your spunk!? It's El Alamein! It's 1942 ! It's Applescruff running in the opposite direction! You fight until you're 6 feet under - and even then you bite the cunt's ankles You've got to admit that saying England could go wicketless in the morning session is about as ridiculous as Steve Smith's existance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 4 hours ago, applescruff14 said: You've got to admit that saying England could go wicketless in the morning session is about as ridiculous as Steve Smith's existance. That would appear to be the case. Still - at least I got laid this morning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 14 hours ago, applescruff14 said: No. do you like pipistrelle and long eared bats? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 56 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: Still - at least I got laid this morning Congratulations! What was his name? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 Fuck knows how Root reckons England are still massively in the series, what a delusional cunt for brains. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 4 minutes ago, Fender777 said: Fuck knows how Root reckons England are still massively in the series, what a delusional cunt for brains. We're fucked. Root was never my choice to skipper, I'd have had Broad, plus a squad with Hales, Buttler, Rashid and Plunkett. Vince and Malan won't score another run and be dropped after Perth for the equally shite Ballence and spare keeper Foakes playing as a specialist batter. That's unless Stokes is parachuted in to win three tests.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said: We're fucked. Root was never my choice to skipper, I'd have had Broad, plus a squad with Hales, Buttler, Rashid and Plunkett. Vince and Malan won't score another run and be dropped after Perth for the equally shite Ballence and spare keeper Foakes playing as a specialist batter. That's unless Stokes is parachuted in to win three tests.... There isn't a lot to choose from, Cook is playing like a cunt but who do you replace him with ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 3 minutes ago, Fender777 said: There isn't a lot to choose from, Cook is playing like a cunt but who do you replace him with ? Poor old cookie, I was hoping for him to stand tall, as long as he's as the crease everything is calm. If he's a goner it looks like the awful Jennings will be back. Root should grow a pair and bat at 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 5 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Poor old cookie, I was hoping for him to stand tall, as long as he's as the crease everything is calm. If he's a goner it looks like the awful Jennings will be back. Root should grow a pair and bat at 3 I forgot all about that Jennings cunt (i wonder why)...maybe Bairstow could bat a bit higher up the order to give Foakes a chance with the gloves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 2 minutes ago, Fender777 said: I forgot all about that Jennings cunt (i wonder why)...maybe Bairstow could bat a bit higher up the order to give Foakes a chance with the gloves. Maybe we could send a team of 12 year old girls who'd show more fight that these gutless cunts. We can beat the Aussies who have a poor side, apart from their bowlers who we make look good 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted December 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 4 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Maybe we could send a team of 12 year old girls who'd show more fight that these gutless cunts. We can beat the Aussies who have a poor side, apart from their bowlers who we make look good It's possible that the England football 11 could put on a better performance than the shower of shit we have, they can't play football so why not give them the whites and see how they go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted December 10, 2017 Report Share Posted December 10, 2017 On 06/12/2017 at 9:44 PM, Fender777 said: I forgot all about that Jennings cunt (i wonder why)...maybe Bairstow could bat a bit higher up the order to give Foakes a chance with the gloves. He wont be playing as he poured a drink over James Anderson. Id like to pour one over Joe Root, bloke hasn't got a clue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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