Paris.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

Mon dieu! Another attack on the French!

Paris is the embodiment of the phrase 'reality failing to meet expectation'. Years of careful conditioning, with portrayal in cutesy films like Amelie, makes everybody think Paris is this wonderfully evocative, romantic and whimsical city where a girl can wander around in a vintage polka dot dress waiting to be swept off your feet by an amorous but sensitive French chap, or where a guy can wander the streets in crisply laundered cotton trousers and straw boater, reading poetry from a book and stopping in to a corner cafe for a quick nip of absinthe and an oggle at a Go-go dancer. 

Bollocks. Paris is basically a few square miles of pretty city surrounded by a dense doughnut, miles thick, of slums, ghettos, abject poverty, crime and filth. Even the nice bits in the center are a hotbed of pickpockets, thieves and scammers. Any of the major tourist attractions have gangs of Roma literally 'working' the area, with their shitty clipboards and their shitty "Hey mister, speak English? Russian?" chat. All the fucking time. At least they are too thick to realise that their odd 17th Century peasant dresscode makes them stand out a Roma(n) mile. 

In that fucking awful film, Amelie could fanny around on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur without being hounded for a signature or accidentally stepping on some Moroccan cunt selling key-chains or other assorted tat made from coke cans. She probably never walked into a public bathroom and saw a Somalian chap washing his feet in the toilet bowl either.

The only cunts worse than the Roma beggars are the bleeding-heart tourist cunts that actually put their bags and cameras down to fill in the fucking bullshit forms the Roma crowd you with, or who buy water from the shifty Albanian guys on the banks of the Seine and then wonder why they get ill from glugging sewer water drained into a bottle fished out of a bin with the lid superglued back on.

There is no undiscovered Paris. There is no rich underbelly to tap into. The popular and pretty sections have been known about for centuries, so you get ripped off if you even breathe in the vicinity of any of them. The rest of Paris is a best-avoided shitheap of concrete jungle and constant muggings. Parisians know they are arrogant, snobby cunts and play up to the stereotype as well. The waiters in even the worst restaurants are rude, patronising dickheads. If you sit outside you have to watch all your belongings like a hawk or some street urchin will come and half-inch anything you don't nail down. Expensive, polluted, crime-ridden hellhole of a city. Vastly overrated by Brits.

[Cuntybaws]

I like Paris in the springtime. 

[Jake The Muss]

Nice one Dan, sounds like you're describing Woolwich.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

4 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

I like Paris in the springtime. 

Ja.

 

[Frank]

20 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Mon dieu! Another attack on the French!

Paris is the embodiment of the phrase 'reality failing to meet expectation'. Years of careful conditioning, with portrayal in cutesy films like Amelie, makes everybody think Paris is this wonderfully evocative, romantic and whimsical city where a girl can wander around in a vintage polka dot dress waiting to be swept off your feet by an amorous but sensitive French chap, or where a guy can wander the streets in crisply laundered cotton trousers and straw boater, reading poetry from a book and stopping in to a corner cafe for a quick nip of absinthe and an oggle at a Go-go dancer. 

Bollocks. Paris is basically a few square miles of pretty city surrounded by a dense doughnut, miles thick, of slums, ghettos, abject poverty, crime and filth. Even the nice bits in the center are a hotbed of pickpockets, thieves and scammers. Any of the major tourist attractions have gangs of Roma literally 'working' the area, with their shitty clipboards and their shitty "Hey mister, speak English? Russian?" chat. All the fucking time. At least they are too thick to realise that their odd 17th Century peasant dresscode makes them stand out a Roma(n) mile. 

In that fucking awful film, Amelie could fanny around on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur without being hounded for a signature or accidentally stepping on some Moroccan cunt selling key-chains or other assorted tat made from coke cans. She probably never walked into a public bathroom and saw a Somalian chap washing his feet in the toilet bowl either.

The only cunts worse than the Roma beggars are the bleeding-heart tourist cunts that actually put their bags and cameras down to fill in the fucking bullshit forms the Roma crowd you with, or who buy water from the shifty Albanian guys on the banks of the Seine and then wonder why they get ill from glugging sewer water drained into a bottle fished out of a bin with the lid superglued back on.

There is no undiscovered Paris. There is no rich underbelly to tap into. The popular and pretty sections have been known about for centuries, so you get ripped off if you even breathe in the vicinity of any of them. The rest of Paris is a best-avoided shitheap of concrete jungle and constant muggings. Parisians know they are arrogant, snobby cunts and play up to the stereotype as well. The waiters in even the worst restaurants are rude, patronising dickheads. If you sit outside you have to watch all your belongings like a hawk or some street urchin will come and half-inch anything you don't nail down. Expensive, polluted, crime-ridden hellhole of a city. Vastly overrated by Brits.

You never did get your Equity card, did you Tata?

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

2 minutes ago, Frank said:

You never did get your Equity card, did you Tata?

Non! Quel est? 

[Guest Snatch]

So how much did you pay for the bottled water?

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

7 minutes ago, Snatch said:

So how much did you pay for the bottled water?

For you my friend, two Euro. One Euro for the pretty lady. 

[Cuntybaws]

27 minutes ago, Fender777 said:

Nice one Dan, sounds like you're describing Woolwich.

Since when did Woolwich have a pretty bit in the middle?

[Guest Snatch]

Just now, Cuntybaws said:

Since when did Woolwich have a pretty bit in the middle?

About 45 years ago. I believe it was a Thursday.

[Jake The Muss]

1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said:

Since when did Woolwich have a pretty bit in the middle?

There's the market.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

Just now, Fender777 said:

There's the market.

Hold the fucking phone!!!

[Cuntybaws]

34 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Ja.

Q. Why are the Parisian boulevards lined with trees?

A. So that the Germans can march in the shade.

[Guest deebom]

Paris has got loads of shit hot graffiti though.

[Cuntybaws]

1 hour ago, Fender777 said:

There's the market.

It's not as bad as I remember...

[Guest I know that Cunt]

You can't get a decent Chicken Jalfrezi in france, gay bastards.

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Mon dieu! Another attack on the French!

Paris is the embodiment of the phrase 'reality failing to meet expectation'. Years of careful conditioning, with portrayal in cutesy films like Amelie, makes everybody think Paris is this wonderfully evocative, romantic and whimsical city where a girl can wander around in a vintage polka dot dress waiting to be swept off your feet by an amorous but sensitive French chap, or where a guy can wander the streets in crisply laundered cotton trousers and straw boater, reading poetry from a book and stopping in to a corner cafe for a quick nip of absinthe and an oggle at a Go-go dancer. 

Bollocks. Paris is basically a few square miles of pretty city surrounded by a dense doughnut, miles thick, of slums, ghettos, abject poverty, crime and filth. Even the nice bits in the center are a hotbed of pickpockets, thieves and scammers. Any of the major tourist attractions have gangs of Roma literally 'working' the area, with their shitty clipboards and their shitty "Hey mister, speak English? Russian?" chat. All the fucking time. At least they are too thick to realise that their odd 17th Century peasant dresscode makes them stand out a Roma(n) mile. 

In that fucking awful film, Amelie could fanny around on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur without being hounded for a signature or accidentally stepping on some Moroccan cunt selling key-chains or other assorted tat made from coke cans. She probably never walked into a public bathroom and saw a Somalian chap washing his feet in the toilet bowl either.

The only cunts worse than the Roma beggars are the bleeding-heart tourist cunts that actually put their bags and cameras down to fill in the fucking bullshit forms the Roma crowd you with, or who buy water from the shifty Albanian guys on the banks of the Seine and then wonder why they get ill from glugging sewer water drained into a bottle fished out of a bin with the lid superglued back on.

There is no undiscovered Paris. There is no rich underbelly to tap into. The popular and pretty sections have been known about for centuries, so you get ripped off if you even breathe in the vicinity of any of them. The rest of Paris is a best-avoided shitheap of concrete jungle and constant muggings. Parisians know they are arrogant, snobby cunts and play up to the stereotype as well. The waiters in even the worst restaurants are rude, patronising dickheads. If you sit outside you have to watch all your belongings like a hawk or some street urchin will come and half-inch anything you don't nail down. Expensive, polluted, crime-ridden hellhole of a city. Vastly overrated by Brits.

A informative review TSD. What's you're view on Athens? 

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Ja.

 

Is that the German high command's 1937 beano to Blackpool?

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

Q. Why are the Parisian boulevards lined with trees?

A. So that the Germans can march in the shade.

I'll fetch your manteau 

[Guest luke swarm]

3 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Mon dieu! Another attack on the French!

Paris is the embodiment of the phrase 'reality failing to meet expectation'. Years of careful conditioning, with portrayal in cutesy films like Amelie, makes everybody think Paris is this wonderfully evocative, romantic and whimsical city where a girl can wander around in a vintage polka dot dress waiting to be swept off your feet by an amorous but sensitive French chap, or where a guy can wander the streets in crisply laundered cotton trousers and straw boater, reading poetry from a book and stopping in to a corner cafe for a quick nip of absinthe and an oggle at a Go-go dancer. 

Bollocks. Paris is basically a few square miles of pretty city surrounded by a dense doughnut, miles thick, of slums, ghettos, abject poverty, crime and filth. Even the nice bits in the center are a hotbed of pickpockets, thieves and scammers. Any of the major tourist attractions have gangs of Roma literally 'working' the area, with their shitty clipboards and their shitty "Hey mister, speak English? Russian?" chat. All the fucking time. At least they are too thick to realise that their odd 17th Century peasant dresscode makes them stand out a Roma(n) mile. 

In that fucking awful film, Amelie could fanny around on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur without being hounded for a signature or accidentally stepping on some Moroccan cunt selling key-chains or other assorted tat made from coke cans. She probably never walked into a public bathroom and saw a Somalian chap washing his feet in the toilet bowl either.

The only cunts worse than the Roma beggars are the bleeding-heart tourist cunts that actually put their bags and cameras down to fill in the fucking bullshit forms the Roma crowd you with, or who buy water from the shifty Albanian guys on the banks of the Seine and then wonder why they get ill from glugging sewer water drained into a bottle fished out of a bin with the lid superglued back on.

There is no undiscovered Paris. There is no rich underbelly to tap into. The popular and pretty sections have been known about for centuries, so you get ripped off if you even breathe in the vicinity of any of them. The rest of Paris is a best-avoided shitheap of concrete jungle and constant muggings. Parisians know they are arrogant, snobby cunts and play up to the stereotype as well. The waiters in even the worst restaurants are rude, patronising dickheads. If you sit outside you have to watch all your belongings like a hawk or some street urchin will come and half-inch anything you don't nail down. Expensive, polluted, crime-ridden hellhole of a city. Vastly overrated by Brits.

May I recommend that next year you holiday in Marrakesh, it really is fucking vile and the food is atrocious........good cunt nomination inspiration though.....good work TSD.

I am just surprised that it took you so long to work out that the French are a really horrible and cuntish race, anyone who has been on a beer buying  trip to Boulogne or Calais in the eighties or nineties learnt this very rapidly. I only wish Witheredscrotes were alive to defend them but sadly that cunt has croaked it.  

[Bubba C]

10 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

May I recommend that next year you holiday in Marrakesh, it really is fucking vile and the food is atrocious........good cunt nomination inspiration though.....good work TSD.

I am just surprised that it took you so long to work out that the French are a really horrible and cuntish race, anyone who has been on a beer buying  trip to Boulogne or Calais in the eighties or nineties learnt this very rapidly. I only wish Witheredscrotes were alive to defend them but sadly that cunt has croaked it.  

Sadly.....?

[Guest luke swarm]

Just now, Bubba C said:

Sadly.....?

Apologies, I think this is one instance where a quote change by other members is permissible.

[Bubba C]

6 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

Apologies, I think this is one instance where a quote change by other members is permissible.

It rhymes with gladly, so I can forgive your confusion. 

[scotty]

3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Q. Why are the Parisian boulevards lined with trees?

A. So that the Germans can march in the shade.

You fucking cunt baws, why is that not on the sicki thread?  I'm treading water there.

[Guest nobgobbler]

1 hour ago, luke swarm said:

May I recommend that next year you holiday in Marrakesh, it really is fucking vile and the food is atrocious........good cunt nomination inspiration though.....good work TSD.

I am just surprised that it took you so long to work out that the French are a really horrible and cuntish race, anyone who has been on a beer buying  trip to Boulogne or Calais in the eighties or nineties learnt this very rapidly. I only wish Witheredscrotes were alive to defend them but sadly that cunt has croaked it.  

Croaked? Really? Did some bird's jealous boyfriend peck the goose shagger's eyes out?