Guest Wizardsleeve Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: It's getting to that point Alf', for years we've had people buying home treadmills, all blissfully unaware of the invention of the pavement. They needed a space to hang wet laundry, the hand rails on treadmills are brilliant for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 5 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: They needed a space to hang wet laundry, the hand rails on treadmills are brilliant for that. Screaming Lord Sutch once suggested building giant treadmills around the country so that all the Lycra clad idiots could generate electricity whilst going nowhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 37 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: a smart arsewipe? That'll be Lady P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 Smarter still, is the Pifco-Neurotic Peppermill, It sneezes for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 On 06/01/2017 at 8:58 PM, Wolfie said: Fuck the cunting Korean appliances. Fridges in Essex fart when you take your meat out of them. That's the women Wolfie, not the fridges Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 49 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: That's the women Wolfie, not the fridges I've always struggled to tell the difference. That said, while they can be cold and aloof, Essex fridges don't do the 'pull my finger' routine when you take them to nice restaurants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 Punker's only uses Goblin appliances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 On 07/01/2017 at 2:51 PM, Eric Cuntman said: It's getting to that point Alf', for years we've had people buying home treadmills, all blissfully unaware of the invention of the pavement. Thank you for that one Eric I have just stolen it and posted it elsewhere as mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 44 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said: Punker's only uses Goblin appliances. And Indeshit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Lady Penelope said: Thank you for that one Eric I have just stolen it and posted it elsewhere as mine. You're very welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Wolfie said: I've always struggled to tell the difference. That said, while they can be cold and aloof, Essex fridges don't do the 'pull my finger' routine when you take them to nice restaurants. You take many fridges to dinner than Wolfie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 11 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: You take many fridges to dinner than Wolfie? They've always been attracted to me. I'm a 'fridge magnet', one might say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted January 8, 2017 Report Share Posted January 8, 2017 57 minutes ago, Wolfie said: They've always been attracted to me. I'm a 'fridge magnet', one might say. Dad, you're drunk again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 2 hours ago, Wolfie said: They've always been attracted to me. I'm a 'fridge magnet', one might say. Groan! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 15 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: That's the women Wolfie, not the fridges My neighbour admitted he farts in the biscuit tin to keep his kids from nicking the hobnobs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 1 minute ago, nobgobbler said: My neighbour admitted he farts in the biscuit tin to keep his kids from nicking the hobnobs. Must be a fucking big biscuit tin if he can get in it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 5 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Must be a fucking big biscuit tin if he can get in it He has a tight arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 14 hours ago, Wolfie said: And Indeshit. ... and also, more than just likely: SMEG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 8 hours ago, nobgobbler said: My neighbour admitted he farts in the biscuit tin to keep his kids from nicking the hobnobs. His name's not McVities, by any chance, is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 16 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: You're very welcome. It's not a kitchen appliance I know, but Bubba told me in confidence that up to the age of 10 he used to eat his dinner using a small coal shovel. The thing that was smart about it was that his mum put a label on the handle ' Hold this end '. R.I.P Bibble Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 2 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: It's not a kitchen appliance I know, but Bubba told me in confidence that up to the age of 10 he used to eat his dinner using a small coal shovel. The thing that was smart about it was that his mum put a label on the handle ' Hold this end '. R.I.P Bibble Frank had a similar system. His Turkish Cypriot parents had all his cutlery engraved with 'little Lord Fauntleros'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Frank had a similar system. His Turkish Cypriot parents had all his cutlery engraved with 'little Lord Fauntleros'. I thought they had them engraved with "Cunt". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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