Jump to content
CUNTS CORNER TWITTER ACCOUNT ID @CuntsCorner ×
Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....

SMART kitchen appliances


Guest 'eavensabove

Recommended Posts

Guest 'eavensabove

The next time you piss in your neighbours sink or shag his wife up the shitter, be aware that your actions will be filmed by the new-wave of kitchen appliances that are being developed under the backing of The Plod. Samsung is already  selling a fridge which films its surroundings and washing machines & cookers are soon to follow suit. The Ol' Bill reckon that most house-crime is done in the kitchen, from burglaries to murder and rolling a spliff... Filming these acts will aid the catching and successfully prosecuting these culprits, say's the filth.

Some cunt has already been charged with the murder of his wife, in his own home, simply due to an increase with his water supply being noticeably used to douse down the kitchen to remove blood stains and other bad things, such as a spag bol from LIDYL.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest 'eavensabove
1 minute ago, Witheredscrote said:

I bet he has got a toaster that not only films him, but tries to bore him to death and fails. lol

...and I would wager that YOU film your own kitchen-craft skill of Wanking by Numbers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

41 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

The next time you piss in your neighbours sink or shag his wife up the shitter, be aware that your actions will be filmed by the new-wave of kitchen appliances that are being developed under the backing of The Plod. Samsung is already  selling a fridge which films its surroundings and washing machines & cookers are soon to follow suit. The Ol' Bill reckon that most house-crime is done in the kitchen, from burglaries to murder and rolling a spliff... Filming these acts will aid the catching and successfully prosecuting these culprits, say's the filth.

Some cunt has already been charged with the murder of his wife, in his own home, simply due to an increase with his water supply being noticeably used to douse down the kitchen to remove blood stains and other bad things, such as a spag bol from LIDYL.   

Shame Mrs Christie didn't have something like that in her kitchen. It would have caught her bald little shit of a husband knocking off and screwing (in that order) those women he lured into their Rillington Place shit hole. Mind you, the police were so shit,  they'd have still fucked things up. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was given one of those smart fucking tubes that can tell you what the weathers like and can play the third track from the albumin Dirty deeds done dirt cheap within 2 seconds of asking it to find it...... so,punkapes inteligence has been surpassed by a plastics tube about the size of my cock.......the wonders of science.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Quincy Cockfingers
7 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said:

I was given one of those smart fucking tubes that can tell you what the weathers like and can play the third track from the albumin Dirty deeds done dirt cheap within 2 seconds of asking it to find it...... so,punkapes inteligence has been surpassed by a plastics tube about the size of my cock.......the wonders of science.

Ask it to turn on all the gas appliances without lighting them at 3am. You fucking stupid cunt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Ask it to turn on all the gas appliances without lighting them at 3am. You fucking stupid cunt.

Now we all know that the smart appliance would say...." if you are wishing to leave the gas on in an attempt to commit suicide there is only a 2 % chance of success as only town gas from the 1930s would produce fatal affects....now stop being a cunt and go get your shot gun and do something useful with your life like driving round to Quincy cockfucks and erasing him from the electoral roll" Now play Back in Back as a sound track.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Wizardsleeve
Just now, 'eavensabove said:

I think its her who needs help, but thanks.

Anytime.

Don't be afraid to offer the punkster tips on self termination, everybody has.  He might just listen to you, he's a daft fucking cunt that way.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

I was given one of those smart fucking tubes that can tell you what the weathers like and can play the third track from the albumin Dirty deeds done dirt cheap within 2 seconds of asking it to find it...... so,punkapes inteligence has been surpassed by a plastics tube about the size of my cock.......the wonders of science.

I also have an innovative gadget that can tell me what the weather is like on any given day....it's called a window.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest 'eavensabove
3 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Anytime.

Don't be afraid to offer the punkster tips on self termination, everybody has.  He might just listen to you, he's a daft fucking cunt that way.  

Funny enough, I took an instant dislike to that pleb. He's idiotic to the core and hardly worth my while.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest 'eavensabove
4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I also have an innovative gadget that can tell me what the weather is like on any given day....it's called a window.

Like it.

I also have a microwave TV set. I can watch the entire episodes of War & Peace, in 3 minuets.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Who's Online   0 Members, 0 Anonymous, 3 Guests (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online
×
×
  • Create New...