Guest 'eavensabove Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 The next time you piss in your neighbours sink or shag his wife up the shitter, be aware that your actions will be filmed by the new-wave of kitchen appliances that are being developed under the backing of The Plod. Samsung is already selling a fridge which films its surroundings and washing machines & cookers are soon to follow suit. The Ol' Bill reckon that most house-crime is done in the kitchen, from burglaries to murder and rolling a spliff... Filming these acts will aid the catching and successfully prosecuting these culprits, say's the filth. Some cunt has already been charged with the murder of his wife, in his own home, simply due to an increase with his water supply being noticeably used to douse down the kitchen to remove blood stains and other bad things, such as a spag bol from LIDYL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 You're not very smart for posting this twice......How about fucking off you imbecile.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 2 minutes ago, Punkape said: You're not very smart for posting this twice......How about fucking off you imbecile.... Go fuck yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 3 minutes ago, Punkape said: You're not very smart for posting this twice......How about fucking off you imbecile.... I bet he has got a toaster that not only films him, but tries to bore him to death and fails. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 13 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Samsung is already selling a fridge which films its surroundings and washing machines & cookers are soon to follow suit. Fuck the cunting Korean appliances. Fridges in Essex fart when you take your meat out of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 1 minute ago, Witheredscrote said: I bet he has got a toaster that not only films him, but tries to bore him to death and fails. lol ...and I would wager that YOU film your own kitchen-craft skill of Wanking by Numbers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 7 minutes ago, Punkape said: You're not very smart for posting this twice......How about fucking off you imbecile.... You're not all smart. Period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 12 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: ...and I would wager that YOU film your own kitchen-craft skill of Wanking by Numbers. Someone's channelling the spirit of Jazz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 12 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Someone's channelling the spirit of Jazz. Who, Count Basie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 41 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: The next time you piss in your neighbours sink or shag his wife up the shitter, be aware that your actions will be filmed by the new-wave of kitchen appliances that are being developed under the backing of The Plod. Samsung is already selling a fridge which films its surroundings and washing machines & cookers are soon to follow suit. The Ol' Bill reckon that most house-crime is done in the kitchen, from burglaries to murder and rolling a spliff... Filming these acts will aid the catching and successfully prosecuting these culprits, say's the filth. Some cunt has already been charged with the murder of his wife, in his own home, simply due to an increase with his water supply being noticeably used to douse down the kitchen to remove blood stains and other bad things, such as a spag bol from LIDYL. Shame Mrs Christie didn't have something like that in her kitchen. It would have caught her bald little shit of a husband knocking off and screwing (in that order) those women he lured into their Rillington Place shit hole. Mind you, the police were so shit, they'd have still fucked things up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 I wish Punkers had smart a toaster, one which was an excellent high diving swimmer... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 I was given one of those smart fucking tubes that can tell you what the weathers like and can play the third track from the albumin Dirty deeds done dirt cheap within 2 seconds of asking it to find it...... so,punkapes inteligence has been surpassed by a plastics tube about the size of my cock.......the wonders of science. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 6, 2017 Report Share Posted January 6, 2017 7 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said: I was given one of those smart fucking tubes that can tell you what the weathers like and can play the third track from the albumin Dirty deeds done dirt cheap within 2 seconds of asking it to find it...... so,punkapes inteligence has been surpassed by a plastics tube about the size of my cock.......the wonders of science. Ask it to turn on all the gas appliances without lighting them at 3am. You fucking stupid cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 1 hour ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Ask it to turn on all the gas appliances without lighting them at 3am. You fucking stupid cunt. Now we all know that the smart appliance would say...." if you are wishing to leave the gas on in an attempt to commit suicide there is only a 2 % chance of success as only town gas from the 1930s would produce fatal affects....now stop being a cunt and go get your shot gun and do something useful with your life like driving round to Quincy cockfucks and erasing him from the electoral roll" Now play Back in Back as a sound track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 SMART kitchen appliances: You mean a 'Wife' ? Well except for the 'smart' bit in my case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 9 minutes ago, Piston said: SMART kitchen appliances: You mean a 'Wife' ? Well except for the 'smart' bit in my case. Or the wife in Punkers case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 17 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: Go fuck yourself. I believe you meant "go KILL YOURSELF." I'm here to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 Just now, Wizardsleeve said: I believe you meant "go KILL YOURSELF." I'm here to help. I think its her who needs help, but thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 Just now, 'eavensabove said: I think its her who needs help, but thanks. Anytime. Don't be afraid to offer the punkster tips on self termination, everybody has. He might just listen to you, he's a daft fucking cunt that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 14 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: I was given one of those smart fucking tubes that can tell you what the weathers like and can play the third track from the albumin Dirty deeds done dirt cheap within 2 seconds of asking it to find it...... so,punkapes inteligence has been surpassed by a plastics tube about the size of my cock.......the wonders of science. I also have an innovative gadget that can tell me what the weather is like on any given day....it's called a window. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 3 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Anytime. Don't be afraid to offer the punkster tips on self termination, everybody has. He might just listen to you, he's a daft fucking cunt that way. Funny enough, I took an instant dislike to that pleb. He's idiotic to the core and hardly worth my while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I also have an innovative gadget that can tell me what the weather is like on any given day....it's called a window. Like it. I also have a microwave TV set. I can watch the entire episodes of War & Peace, in 3 minuets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 7 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Like it. I also have a microwave TV set. I can watch the entire episodes of War & Peace, in 3 minuets. What a splendid idea, a telly with a door on the front. I would be able to open it, reach inside, and fucking strangle Alan Yentob. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 Whatever next, a smart arsewipe holder that tells you when you have just run out of paper? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 3 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: Whatever next, a smart arsewipe holder that tells you when you have just run out of paper? It's getting to that point Alf', for years we've had people buying home treadmills, all blissfully unaware of the invention of the pavement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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