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Money Saving Expert


Guest Tata Steely Dan

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Guest Tata Steely Dan

Somebody at work was telling me breathlessly that I can sign up and have some cunt called Martin Lewis giving me moronic money-saving tips on the regular. As a venerable porridge wog this is, of course, somewhat appealing. However I had a little look on the website, and it looks like a load of old pish. There is the obvious stuff such as not disappearing into a black hole of credit card debt, and some useful stuff about making your savings work a bit harder. So far so good. But go on the forums there, and you get a bunch of fucking scaffs advising you to have your breakfast cereal with half milk half water, or advising you to save a packet on shoelaces by simply staining garden twine black with shoe polish. Save money on expensive teeth-whitening treatment by fishing through the bins at the back of a nearby office for half-empty bottles of Tipex, and apply it lovingly to your teeth with a piece of moss. 

Penny-pinching skinflinty cunts of the lowest order. Enough to make a jock blush. I'm all for saving money, but these cunts hang their entire sorry existences on saving a miserable couple of pennies here or there. Boring cunts constantly shoveling money between ISAs because you get a cuddly toy if you sign up to Bank X between 14:00 and 17:15 tomorrow, and you can go and flog the toy on Ebay for up to £3.50 the day after... the sort of cunts with a brick in their toilet cistern and a crate of Lidl Pilsner (45p per 440 ml for the next three days, set daily reminders!) in the fridge. Cheap, joyless pack of bastards.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan
4 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Fuck meerkats. Fuck 'em all to death.

No! Don't do that until next Tuesday. It is 25% off fucking meerkats next Tueday if you print off this token, and sign up for double glazing and a two-week holiday with Jet2 Holidays in the next 54 minutes. Trust me, Martin Lewis told me.

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On  a completely opposite note, did you see the news story today about the cunt who got expelled from the Cambridge University Conservatives for burning a £20 note in front of a homeless man? All because there was no web site called "Money Spending Expert" for rich cunts who just can't shift it fast enough.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38931710

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Guest DingTheRioja
12 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

On  a completely opposite note, did you see the news story today about the cunt who got expelled from the Cambridge University Conservatives for burning a £20 note in front of a homeless man? All because there was no web site called "Money Spending Expert" for rich cunts who just can't shift it fast enough.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38931710

I saw that, fucking hilarious, the Con Clubs "communications officer"....

A long stellar career at some extortionate London PR firm beckons methinks!

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1 minute ago, DingTheRioja said:

I saw that, fucking hilarious, the Con Clubs "communications officer"....

A long stellar career at some extortionate London PR firm beckons methinks!

He should just have burned the homeless cunt instead, they'd have made him President.

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Guest DingTheRioja
2 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

He should just have burned the homeless cunt instead, they'd have made him President.

Only if he BBQ'd a pig on the fire whilst facefucking it.

Allegedly.

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19 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Fuck meerkats. Fuck 'em all to death.

I've got one of those bastards gathering dust on top of the wardrobe. Its the one with the glasses and tie. Got it because I got my car insured through the market.com. kept getting texts telling me where the fucking idiot was on his way to me. Got on my nerves. Tossed the little cunt on to the wardrobe as soon as it arrived. Might give it to the dogs to chew.  

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Guest Gong Farmer

You've got the love these celebrities that do adverts for money lending companies to get people into even more debt than they're already in.  Carol Vorderman did one a few years back and Tom Baker's doing one at the moment that basically says 'If you're in the shit and desperate to sell your house, then cut out the middle out man an flog it to us at a knock down within two days...... because you're in the shit'. 

Fucking mercenary cunts.

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Guest Welsh_cunt

On par with that cunt Michael Parkinson with his over 50 plan. He tells the wrinkly old folk to sign up to some dodgy funeral plan where you get a free parker pen if you die within 10 years or something. That pen is worth fuck all, alive or dead.

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Guest DingTheRioja
1 minute ago, Gong Farmer said:

You've got the love these celebrities that do adverts for money lending companies to get people into even more debt than they're already in.  Carol Vorderman did one a few years back and Tom Baker's doing one at the moment that basically says 'If you're in the shit and desperate to sell your house, then cut out the middle out man an flog it to us at a knock down within two days...... because you're in the shit'. 

Fucking mercenary cunts.

I remember getting one of them in to quote for an ex-rental I was selling for a pisstake... he went through his spiel thinking I was the owner/occupier, the hard sell of 7 shades of shite, then offered roughly 55% of market value stressing that it would be cash in the bank within the hour of the solicitors doing the deal and that somehow that was a good deal...

He wasn't very happy when I laughed him out the house saying I'd rather burn the fucker to the ground than deal with them ambulance chasers.

 

Quote

Shut the fuck up ding / boring / tedious / etc / repeat ad naseum

Fuck off QC/Decs/Bill*

 

*nvm Bill.... lol...

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1 minute ago, Gong Farmer said:

You've got the love these celebrities that do adverts for money lending companies to get people into even more debt than they're already in.  Carol Vorderman did one a few years back and Tom Baker's doing one at the moment that basically says 'If you're in the shit and desperate to sell your house, then cut out the middle out man an flog it to us at a knock down within two days...... because you're in the shit'. 

Fucking mercenary cunts.

Vorderman the silly cunt also advertised 'krill oil' which is the basis of the Antarctic food chain, for thickos to take to offset their poultry diets.  

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Guest DingTheRioja
3 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Vorderman the silly cunt also advertised 'krill oil' which is the basis of the Antarctic food chain, for thickos to take to offset their poultry diets.  

Is she going to beach in NZ then?

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Guest Gong Farmer
2 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Vorderman the silly cunt also advertised 'krill oil' which is the basis of the Antarctic food chain, for thickos to take to offset their poultry diets.  

She's still quite shag worthy for an old bird though. Despite her 65 year old giblets.... I still would.

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Guest Gong Farmer
6 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said:

I remember getting one of them in to quote for an ex-rental I was selling for a pisstake... he went through his spiel thinking I was the owner/occupier, the hard sell of 7 shades of shite, then offered roughly 55% of market value stressing that it would be cash in the bank within the hour of the solicitors doing the deal and that somehow that was a good deal...

He wasn't very happy when I laughed him out the house saying I'd rather burn the fucker to the ground than deal with them ambulance chasers.

 

Fuck off QC/Decs/Bill*

 

*nvm Bill.... lol...

I've lost all respect for Tom Baker after that. The ad is currently aired on LBC. Every time I here it think... 'you cunt Tom, you absolute fucking cunt.'

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Guest DingTheRioja
1 minute ago, Gong Farmer said:

I've lost all respect for Tom Baker after that. The ad is currently aired on LBC. Every time I here it think... 'you cunt Tom, you absolute fucking cunt.'

Has he got a son who;s an even shitter actor? Or is that one of the other Drs?

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Guest Gong Farmer
9 minutes ago, Welsh_cunt said:

On par with that cunt Michael Parkinson with his over 50 plan. He tells the wrinkly old folk to sign up to some dodgy funeral plan where you get a free parker pen if you die within 10 years or something. That pen is worth fuck all, alive or dead.

Really? I'd poke the cunt in the eye with his fucking free Parker pen. Or shove it up his arse side ways. It's his choice.

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Guest Gong Farmer
  • 1 minute ago, DingTheRioja said:

    Has he got a son who;s an even shitter actor? Or is that one of the other Drs?

    I saw a Pertwee come up on the Credits on something the other day so it could be John Pertwee's son. John Pertwee was a fucking brilliant actor and thoroughly nice chap to boot after seeing an interview with him. 

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Guest nobgobbler
22 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

On  a completely opposite note, did you see the news story today about the cunt who got expelled from the Cambridge University Conservatives for burning a £20 note in front of a homeless man? All because there was no web site called "Money Spending Expert" for rich cunts who just can't shift it fast enough.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38931710

There is though. Send it to Johnny Depp, he spends £30k per month on booze, no wonder he's bankrupt.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
On 10/02/2017 at 10:12 PM, Tata Steely Dan said:

Somebody at work was telling me breathlessly that I can sign up and have some cunt called Martin Lewis giving me moronic money-saving tips on the regular. As a venerable porridge wog this is, of course, somewhat appealing. However I had a little look on the website, and it looks like a load of old pish. There is the obvious stuff such as not disappearing into a black hole of credit card debt, and some useful stuff about making your savings work a bit harder. So far so good. But go on the forums there, and you get a bunch of fucking scaffs advising you to have your breakfast cereal with half milk half water, or advising you to save a packet on shoelaces by simply staining garden twine black with shoe polish. Save money on expensive teeth-whitening treatment by fishing through the bins at the back of a nearby office for half-empty bottles of Tipex, and apply it lovingly to your teeth with a piece of moss. 

Penny-pinching skinflinty cunts of the lowest order. Enough to make a jock blush. I'm all for saving money, but these cunts hang their entire sorry existences on saving a miserable couple of pennies here or there. Boring cunts constantly shoveling money between ISAs because you get a cuddly toy if you sign up to Bank X between 14:00 and 17:15 tomorrow, and you can go and flog the toy on Ebay for up to £3.50 the day after... the sort of cunts with a brick in their toilet cistern and a crate of Lidl Pilsner (45p per 440 ml for the next three days, set daily reminders!) in the fridge. Cheap, joyless pack of bastards.

I wish you'ld save on fucking words you rambling Nancy.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
16 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

I had a pertwee about an hour ago. Must be this cold weather or something and i even managed to get out of bed for it.

How long did it take him to cum?

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Guest Lady Penelope
On 11/02/2017 at 9:25 PM, Eric Cuntman said:

We are festooned with Super Grans at the moment, Gillian Taylforth is knocking 62 and would  still be welcomed as a passenger in any Range Rover.

Punkies cardboard cut-out Range Rover?

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