Eric Cuntman Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 10 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Actually I did this very method yesterday, it's only old concrete slabs round the veg plots so doesn't have to be brilliant. Fuck the pointing though, I filled the gaps with Flint gravel, stops the neighbours cats shitting I hope as was previously bark chippings. If not it's a combo of anti freeze and air rifle.... Fuck that, no hurting the kitties! Most zoos now sell buckets of lion/tiger shit, it's a brilliant deterrent to domestic cats, they get a whiff and think 'fuck that', sounds silly but it does actually work. Just bury a bit round the garden and the neighbours cats assume they've stumbled upon the territory of the Godzilla of felines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 21 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Fuck that, no hurting the kitties! Most zoos now sell buckets of lion/tiger shit, it's a brilliant deterrent to domestic cats, they get a whiff and think 'fuck that', sounds silly but it does actually work. Just bury a bit round the garden and the neighbours cats assume they've stumbled upon the territory of the Godzilla of felines. Check out the big brain on Eric! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 13 minutes ago, Ape said: Check out the big brain on Eric! Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch? No? So why'd you try and fuck him like one? Marcellus don't like to be fucked by no-one 'cept Mrs Wallace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 1 hour ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Well son if yur motor was out in the street some wee radge wud be along tae fuckin tan it sharpish like. Ah keep ma motor in the lockup to stop the wee bams fae Drylaw comin and pannin the windaes in and takin the radio ken? I was going to paste this into Google Translate, but then I realised there's no Boring Scottish Cunt option in the languages menu. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 I remember when you could step off a moving bus after having had nothing to eat all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 3 minutes ago, Wolfie said: I was going to paste this into Google Translate, but then I realised there's no Boring Scottish Cunt option in the languages menu. The sooner the Jocks get independence, the sooner they'll start paying their own dole and drug rehab bills. There are also no bananas there at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 1 minute ago, ratcum said: I remember when you could step off a moving bus after having had nothing to eat all day. How the fuck did you manage to bang a 9 inch nail through the head of a porpoise and then X-ray it to use as an avatar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 Just now, ratcum said: I remember when you could step off a moving bus after having had nothing to eat all day. I'd love you to step off a moving bus, straight into the path of a moving HGV. How much you'd eaten on the day of this hyperthetical event is, quite frankly, irrelevant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: How the fuck did you manage to bang a 9 inch nail through the head of a porpoise and then X-ray it to use as an avatar? That's an ultrasound of me in the womb. My Aunty Vi was worried that she was the mother, so she tried to abort me. Fucking class bird you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 17 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch? No? So why'd you try and fuck him like one? Marcellus don't like to be fucked by no-one 'cept Mrs Wallace. Not wishing to be a pedant, but I'm p-r-e-t-t-y sure the "Does Marcellus Wallace" line is repeated a couple of times. Just sayin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 2 minutes ago, Ape said: I'd love you to step off a moving bus, straight into the path of a moving HGV. How much you'd eaten on the day of this hyperthetical event is, quite frankly, irrelevant. In Germany, Pippy Long Stockings was called Pippy Lange Strümpfe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted March 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 1 minute ago, ratcum said: In Germany, Pippy Long Stockings was called Pippy Lange Strümpfe. Undoubtedly, Ratters. What do they call IKTC? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 1 minute ago, ratcum said: That's an ultrasound of me in the womb. My Aunty Vi was worried that she was the mother, so she tried to abort me. Fucking class bird you know. My mistake then, it's a number 6 knitting needle, mind you, them back street abortionists 'ad respect in them days. My neighbour Mr Christie told me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 5 minutes ago, Ape said: Not wishing to be a pedant, but I'm p-r-e-t-t-y sure the "Does Marcellus Wallace" line is repeated a couple of times. Just sayin'. Granted, but this shit is between you, me and Mr soon to be living the rest of his short-arsed life in agonising pain, rapist over here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted March 6, 2017 Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 11 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: It's DIY based. I'm sure dung and bubba will rock up soon and drag it into death threats and noncing Not me! 9 hours ago, Wolfie said: I was going to paste this into Google Translate, but then I realised there's no Boring Scottish Cunt option in the languages menu. I think there's a Russ Abbot Jimmy translator somewhere, that's probably perfect isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted March 6, 2017 Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 We're rolling out LED lighting throughout the building I work in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 6, 2017 Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 5 minutes ago, deebom said: We're rolling out LED lighting throughout the building I work in. Well that's going to cost fuck all, you live and work in a red pillar box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 6, 2017 Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 Yet another lot of drivel from the resident Spud. If a torch is good enough for sorting chip shards, then use fork handles, you tedious bore. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted March 6, 2017 Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 16 hours ago, ratcum said: The sooner the Jocks get independence, the sooner they'll start paying their own dole and drug rehab bills. There are also no bananas there at all. Or fresh garden peas. Fucking barbarians. I asked for fresh peas in an Arbroath shop once. The cunt wasn't at all helpful. Mind you it was a dry cleaners. What larks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 6, 2017 Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 6 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: Or fresh garden peas. Fucking barbarians. I asked for fresh peas in an Arbroath shop once. The cunt wasn't at all helpful. Mind you it was a dry cleaners. What larks Ah yes, dry cleaners in Scotland. Where cunts asked to be dry cleaned themselves rather than their clothes. It's a solvents abusers paradise and with 2 for 1 offers to boot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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