PANZER MURPHY Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 Out and about this evening and happened upon an unfortunate motorist with a burned out passenger side headlight. .offered to change the bulb only to realise you'd need the skills of a surgeon and double jointed wrists to accomplish it..eventually managed to get it done and took the opportunity to look over the engine only to see everything piled on top of each other. Making even routine maintenance like changing an oil filter a total cunt flap. .in stark contrast to my 17 year old citroën dispatch van where you'd dissamble it with a 17 mill spanner and a couple of torx keys Panzerknacker 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 1 hour ago, Panzerknacker said: .in stark contrast to my 17 year old citroën dispatch van where you'd dissamble it with a 17 mill spanner and a couple of torx keys Panzerknacker Or a light application of rust remover. Useless French piece of shit. I bet it's a Citroën Berlingo. They're the only vehicle I can imagine you in as they closely resemble a mini sunshine bus. You fucking spacktard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 This is modern cars. NCAP means more room for cushioning stupid cunts that can't drive, but less room for the stuff that makes it go vroom. Whilst paradoxically filling them with more and more pointless technology. A friend a few years ago took his Renault Megan to a main dealers for a headlamp bulb. The book price was 4 hours at £75 per hour, because the whole front end of the car needs dismantling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 Apparently the best selling car for cunts with a spastic to cart about is the Fiat spas mobile.You go of to get your vegetables only to realise you got one in the car when you set off..... lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 Time was you could solve all your motoring problems yourself with a wrench, a set of feeler gauges and a silk stocking or one leg of your tights. Stripping down your carb and polishing your pistons was all part of being a motorist. The only thing that's accessible on my car now is the cap on the window washer bottle. And the oil never needs topping up. A computer tells me when something needs fixing, which is inevitably carried out by an ipad wielding grease monkey in clean white overalls and blue plastic gloves while I have to sit in a tub chair drinking shit coffee out of a pod machine, and that's a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 15 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: Time was you could solve all your motoring problems yourself with a wrench, a set of feeler gauges and a silk stocking or one leg of your tights. Stripping down your carb and polishing your pistons was all part of being a motorist. The only thing that's accessible on my car now is the cap on the window washer bottle. And the oil never needs topping up. A computer tells me when something needs fixing, which is inevitably carried out by an ipad wielding grease monkey in clean white overalls and blue plastic gloves while I have to sit in a tub chair drinking shit coffee out of a pod machine, and that's a cunt. I could cure @Punkape with a wrench and a set of feeler gauges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 2 hours ago, Punkape said: Apparently the best selling car for cunts with a spastic to cart about is the Fiat spas mobile.You go of to get your vegetables only to realise you got one in the car when you set off..... lol. I suggest with a vile comment like that, you yourself should be run over repeatedly by said fiat until you have to spend the rest of your wretched life paralysed, you think cunt. That way you can report back to the corner as to it suitability for those less fortunate than yourself. Dickhead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 5 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Or a light application of rust remover. Useless French piece of shit. I bet it's a Citroën Berlingo. They're the only vehicle I can imagine you in as they closely resemble a mini sunshine bus. You fucking spacktard It's a despatch droops old boy. .it's written right there. .although your eyes were perhaps filled with rage n tears .. Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 8 hours ago, Panzerknacker said: Out and about this evening and happened upon an unfortunate motorist with a burned out passenger side headlight. .offered to change the bulb only to realise you'd need the skills of a surgeon and double jointed wrists to accomplish it..eventually managed to get it done and took the opportunity to look over the engine only to see everything piled on top of each other. Making even routine maintenance like changing an oil filter a total cunt flap. .in stark contrast to my 17 year old citroën dispatch van where you'd dissamble it with a 17 mill spanner and a couple of torx keys Panzerknacker Out and about, eh? Trying to portray yourself as a nice, helpful chap after all the cuntings you've brought upon yourself here recently? I suspect this little yarn is a metaphor in which you drive around in your shitty French wheels looking to get inside the bloomers of elderly women whose cars have broken down in remote, rural places. 'Offered to change a light bulb' can be easily interpreted as 'Offered to put back the old biddy's false teeth after her first no-strings-attached fuck in 30 years'. I bet you even called her 'baby' when you did it. Wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 3 hours ago, deebom said: This is modern cars. NCAP means more room for cushioning stupid cunts that can't drive, but less room for the stuff that makes it go vroom. Whilst paradoxically filling them with more and more pointless technology. A friend a few years ago took his Renault Megan to a main dealers for a headlamp bulb. The book price was 4 hours at £75 per hour, because the whole front end of the car needs dismantling. I used to go to the scappies and buy a whole fucking headlamp for £3 whenever the pheasants did their kamikazee trick into the front of my cars... A dealer once tried to charge me £75 + £25 fitting for a pair of those plastic headlamp covers, a bit of formed clear plastic that simply slips over the lights when you open the bonnet.... I'd only asked for the price while they were doing some warranty work so told him I'm not fucking paying take them off, got them for free cos he couldn't be arsed to take them off... They never even cleaned the fucking lights before fitting them, useless cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 8 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Out and about, eh? Trying to portray yourself as a nice, helpful chap after all the cuntings you've brought upon yourself here recently? I suspect this little yarn is a metaphor in which you drive around, looking to get inside the bloomers of elderly woman whose cars have broken down in remote, rural places. 'Offered to change a light bulb' can be easily interpreted as 'Offered to put back the the old biddy's false teeth after her first no-strings-attached fuck in 30 years'. I bet you even called her 'baby' when you did it. Wanker. Old guy..pensioner to be accurate. .did a walk around of his expensive bit of steel and plastic and showed him this and that on it...and to cap it all ..would you believe there wasn't even a spare wheel or even a wheel well. .you get a can of crap to inject into your flat ..fuck knows what you'd do with a damaged alloy or ripped tyre. .all that money for less car and more hassle Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 6 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said: Old guy..pensioner to be accurate. .did a walk around of his expensive bit of steel and plastic and showed him this and that on it...and to cap it all ..would you believe there wasn't even a spare wheel or even a wheel well. .you get a can of crap to inject into your flat ..fuck knows what you'd do with a damaged alloy or ripped tyre. .all that money for less car and more hassle Panzerknacker Helping pensioners in need? You're full of shit. What a thoroughbred cuntfart you're proving to be. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 5 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Helping pensioners in need? You're full of shit. What a thoroughbred cuntfart you're proving to be. Fuck off. Id assist you if i was passing wuggy baby. .it must be so dark in your world Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 5 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said: Id assist you if i was passing wuggy baby. .it must be so dark in your world Panzerknacker Have you reverted to 'Mr Laid-back' again, following your little hissy fit the other day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 7 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Have you reverted to 'Mr Laid-back' again, following your little hissy fit the other day? He was still twining a bit earlier on.... laffin'.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 6 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Have you reverted to 'Mr Laid-back' again, following your little hissy fit the other day? Be happy with what you have..never compare yourself to others. .you'll only end up more miserable Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 Just now, DingTheRioja said: He was still twining a bit earlier on.... laffin'.... I forgive you ding for going jimmy Saville on my post the other day. . Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 Just now, Panzerknacker said: I forgive you ding for going jimmy Saville on my post the other day. . Panzerknacker You calling me a paedo? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 2 minutes ago, DingTheRioja said: You calling me a paedo? I think it was a badly worded reference meaning you "fixed it". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 3 minutes ago, Roadkill said: I think it was a badly worded reference meaning you "fixed it". No, he's definately calling me a paedo... Roops??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 Anyway I'm getting up and going to get some nice bacon toast n rashers for brekky. .chat y'all laters Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 4 hours ago, nobgobbler said: Time was you could solve all your motoring problems yourself with a wrench, a set of feeler gauges and a silk stocking or one leg of your tights. Stripping down your carb and polishing your pistons was all part of being a motorist. The only thing that's accessible on my car now is the cap on the window washer bottle. And the oil never needs topping up. A computer tells me when something needs fixing, which is inevitably carried out by an ipad wielding grease monkey in clean white overalls and blue plastic gloves while I have to sit in a tub chair drinking shit coffee out of a pod machine, and that's a cunt. And they call themselves mechanics. They don't even leave work with sump oil in the eyes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 7 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said: Anyway I'm getting up and going to get some nice bacon toast n rashers for brekky. .chat y'all laters Panzerknacker Ok - thanks for keeping us all informed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 4 hours ago, deebom said: This is modern cars. NCAP means more room for cushioning stupid cunts that can't drive, but less room for the stuff that makes it go vroom. Whilst paradoxically filling them with more and more pointless technology. A friend a few years ago took his Renault Megan to a main dealers for a headlamp bulb. The book price was 4 hours at £75 per hour, because the whole front end of the car needs dismantling. That's why cars look all bloated and horrible these days. Every fucking panel is hiding an airbag or crumple zone or parking sensor. Every fucking car is just a shapeless lump of metal these days and people don't give a single shite about styling. Cars are made for that drunkard Chikwature cunt so that they can get pissed and flip their car 16 metres through the air without having the common courtesy of dying in a fucking fireball afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 4 minutes ago, Roadkill said: That's why cars look all bloated and horrible these days. Every fucking panel is hiding an airbag or crumple zone or parking sensor. Every fucking car is just a shapeless lump of metal these days and people don't give a single shite about styling. Cars are made for that drunkard Chikwature cunt so that they can get pissed and flip their car 16 metres through the air without having the common courtesy of dying in a fucking fireball afterwards. You're lucky for even a piece of metal... and whatever became of chrome? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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