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Angst-ridden Teenagers


Jiggerycock

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I know it's a tautology but what the hell?

Generating the appropriate level of faux-enthusiasm at my daughter's school Talent Show last night, I was struck by the sheer volume of 'Skinny Love-alike' dirges were being served up.

Exploring that narrow band between Adele 'My man done me wrong' ballads to full blown soundtracks to self-harming, you just longed for them to cheer the fuck up, take some cheap speed and listen to 'Teenage Kicks' on loop until they get it right.

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Guest Alfie Noakes

Teenagers are taking less drugs, less pregnancies and drinking less apparently. Perhaps they should get pissed, have sex, smoke a big fat bong, listen to some serious dub reggae and get a fucking suntan.

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19 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

I know it's a tautology but what the hell?

Generating the appropriate level of faux-enthusiasm at my daughter's school Talent Show last night, I was struck by the sheer volume of 'Skinny Love-alike' dirges were being served up.

Exploring that narrow band between Adele 'My man done me wrong' ballads to full blown soundtracks to self-harming, you just longed for them to cheer the fuck up, take some cheap speed and listen to 'Teenage Kicks' on loop until they get it right.

All of these dreary teenage flakes should be made to listen to Motley Crüe albums while drinking beer and find out that the world used to be fun before you had to be black, gay or perpetually offended on behalf of blacks and gays to fit in. The world was a nicer place when it was ok to find Bernard Manning funny.

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1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said:

I know it's a tautology but what the hell?

Generating the appropriate level of faux-enthusiasm at my daughter's school Talent Show last night, I was struck by the sheer volume of 'Skinny Love-alike' dirges were being served up.

Exploring that narrow band between Adele 'My man done me wrong' ballads to full blown soundtracks to self-harming, you just longed for them to cheer the fuck up, take some cheap speed and listen to 'Teenage Kicks' on loop until they get it right.

I suspect the kids who covered songs from Anal Cunt's back catalogue failed the first audition.

My Chemical Romance are cunts.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
2 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

I know it's a tautology but what the hell?

Generating the appropriate level of faux-enthusiasm at my daughter's school Talent Show last night, I was struck by the sheer volume of 'Skinny Love-alike' dirges were being served up.

Exploring that narrow band between Adele 'My man done me wrong' ballads to full blown soundtracks to self-harming, you just longed for them to cheer the fuck up, take some cheap speed and listen to 'Teenage Kicks' on loop until they get it right.

Just tell the little emo cunts to fuck off and sort themselves out or direct them to the nearest janitors closet with a box of fresh razor blades and a diagram of the human wrist. 

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Guest Bill Stickers
2 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Just tell the little emo cunts to fuck off and sort themselves out or direct them to the nearest janitors closet with a box of fresh razor blades and a diagram of the human wrist. 

Reported. Encouraging family of member to kill themselves. 

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Guest Wizardsleeve
Just now, Bill Stickers said:

Reported. Encouraging family of member to kill themselves. 

It's alright Bill. I still think you're ace. 

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Guest Bill Stickers
7 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

It's alright Bill. I still think you're ace. 

I like you too sleeve, but arbitrary rules are still rules.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
Just now, Bill Stickers said:

I like you too sleeve, but arbitrary rules are still rules.

I shall await my incarceration. Do I need to make a shiv from one of the spoons in the dining hall?  

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1 hour ago, Bill Stickers said:

Reported. Encouraging family of member to kill themselves. 

Oh it's okay Stickers I've tutored my little one in the ways of righteousness.

She played a note-perfect version of 'If The Kids are United' before moonwalking off the stage to thunderous applause, straight into a mountain of cocaine.

She'll probably come up smiling next Tuesday

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  • 3 weeks later...
9 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said:

Yang Qingpei murdered his parents and then killed 17 neighbours so that he would not be found out.

He's the same age as me, Pen. About a decade past being considered a teenager, although I understand that the years tend to get mixed up later on in life...

You have to wonder how he was caught after covering up a single murder so thoroughly though...

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Guest Lady Penelope
Just now, Roadkill said:

He's the same age as me, Pen. About a decade past being considered a teenager, although I understand that the years tend to get mixed up later on in life...

You have to wonder how he was caught after covering up a single murder so thoroughly though...

I did wonder whether he was a friend of Fender's.

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7 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

He's the same age as me, Pen. About a decade past being considered a teenager, although I understand that the years tend to get mixed up later on in life...

You have to wonder how he was caught after covering up a single murder so thoroughly though...

You're quite lucky really RK, you only have one neighbour to dispose of in a tragic 'slippery clutch pedal on a Proton' incident.

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On ‎29‎/‎07‎/‎2017 at 8:36 PM, Roadkill said:

He's the same age as me, Pen. About a decade past being considered a teenager, although I understand that the years tend to get mixed up later on in life...

You have to wonder how he was caught after covering up a single murder so thoroughly though...

It's difficult to cram eighteen bodies in a chest freezer, he should've sold the entrails to McDonalds, nobody would've noticed a few bits of gristle in a Big Mac.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Welcome back spotto and don't be such a cunt to punkers!

ded1ef7f96964f81e036fe8f4e40f892.jpg

Actually, I'd encourage him to be more of a cunt to Punky!  

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