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Cunts Who Ride Unicycles


Ape™️

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6 hours ago, Ape said:

These wankers revel in their own quaint eccentricity. Round them up, along with cunts who ride penny farthings, jugglers, fire eaters and mimes, and take them straight to the Bessemer converters of Scunthorpe rod mill.

I have 2 unicycles connected by an ingenious frame. I call it a bicycle. It gives me a stable transportation machine on which to operate my £45 Vodafone own brand portable communicator.

Ape, as a successor to the Wright Brothers toy plane programme, you should appreciate innovation. Or, weren't you aware I had a bike and £45 Vodafone own brand phone.

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41 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

You remind me of a uni - cycle in some ways Ape. Well one really, they're a bit fucking pointless aren't they?

Ape is the cunt in Scunthorpe. 

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2 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

You remind me of a uni - cycle in some ways Ape. Well one really, they're a bit fucking pointless aren't they?

Good one. I particularly like the way you've decided that unicycle isn't a proper word, and have come up with your own way to "spell" it. It's almost as if you're very, very thick.

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Guest Lady Penelope
7 minutes ago, Ape said:

Good one. I particularly like the way you've decided that unicycle isn't a proper word, and have come up with your own way to "spell" it. It's almost as if you're very, very thick.

Drew is the kind of oik who many years ago would have boasted of owning a P-Sion series  5 rather than a Psion series 5.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps
12 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said:

Drew is the kind of oik who many years ago would have boasted of owning a P-Sion series  5 rather than a Psion series 5.

You remind me of a 'unicycle' too Pen. One without a seat so totally fucking useless. I see you're also using your boyfriends references now he's getting some downtime.

Unimaginative old rattle snake.

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22 minutes ago, scotty said:

Cooper Clarke-esque, manky. "You put the shat in shatter, put the pain in spain...."

Like many of the self-styled big guns on here, 'stuck in fucking chickentown' Seen JCC a few times and his mate, Chris Lee, leader of The Salford Sheiks, the worlds first ukelele punk band.

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Guest Snatch
1 hour ago, Alfie Noakes said:

This is why they are shit.

 

 

Like skateboarders, bmxers and general step jumping, rail gliding cunts, they deserve everything they get.

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19 minutes ago, Snatch said:

Like skateboarders, bmxers and general step jumping, rail gliding cunts, they deserve everything they get.

I agree with Snatch; women breast feeding on public transport should by law, have to offer a drink to any passing commuter.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
2 hours ago, ratcum said:

I agree with Snatch; women breast feeding on public transport should by law, have to offer a drink to any passing commuter.

At the very least, lessons in hand expressing....it's never too late to learn something new.  

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Guest Wizardsleeve
9 minutes ago, ratcum said:

I'm also quite happy to check the cervical dilation of any fat women who want my seat on the bus/train.

For the sake of decency, discretion, and people who recently consumed food, use a privacy screen, won't you?

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1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The ones whose feet have spread sideways and resemble blocks of Spam? I thought that as a rule you attacked them with radishes, overcome by the 'orn.

The Spam© feet are indeed worthy of root vegetable attack Authoritah.  It's also reassuring to know you're monitoring the situation.

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