Wasteful People

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

There is a special breed of cunt out there, they have more money than sense and no clue as to the enormity of tit-ness they make themselves to be.  They'll sit in the car park, motor running waiting for another oblivious cunt to waste money on shite beer and wine; they'll go to some over priced boozer and send excess money down the u bend...two days ago, my wife and I visited a lovely artisan bake shop, we had our eyes on a brilliant ciabatta loaf and a jewish seeded rye and a sour dough....the cunt at the head of the queue was braying on about the bread going off too fast, and that they had to bin so much of their last purchase, and without taking a breath, bought the lot on the fucking wall...including our ciabatta, rye and sourdough!  The rest of us were left to wait for the baker to produce more bread, which would be even more fresh and wonderful, but the cunt is just going to end up putting it all in the bin again.  

No matter the situation, there is always going to be some incredibly wasteful stupid fucking cunt, and I want them dead.  

[Guest Gronda Gronda]

1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said:

There is a special breed of cunt out there, they have more money than sense and no clue as to the enormity of tit-ness they make themselves to be.  They'll sit in the car park, motor running waiting for another oblivious cunt to waste money on shite beer and wine; they'll go to some over priced boozer and send excess money down the u bend...two days ago, my wife and I visited a lovely artisan bake shop, we had our eyes on a brilliant ciabatta loaf and a jewish seeded rye and a sour dough....the cunt at the head of the queue was braying on about the bread going off too fast, and that they had to bin so much of their last purchase, and without taking a breath, bought the lot on the fucking wall...including our ciabatta, rye and sourdough!  The rest of us were left to wait for the baker to produce more bread, which would be even more fresh and wonderful, but the cunt is just going to end up putting it all in the bin again.  

No matter the situation, there is always going to be some incredibly wasteful stupid fucking cunt, and I want them dead.  

I know someone who was once a baker.  He told me that at the end of each day, he'd have to throw out enough food to fill a shopping trolley.

One day he thought he'd mark the goods down to a fraction of the asking price ten minutes before closing.  He purchased some himself when his shift finished.

Rather than being thanked by the boss, he was almost sacked on the grounds of theft.

[Bubba C]

Good nom Wiz. Add to these simpletons; the other side of the coin 'penny pinching' mongs who drive 30 miles to fill up their car because the petrol is 0.5p cheaper. 

I'd have to spend a while doing the calculations, but I'm pretty sure the 10p you've saved on filling up the minuscule tank of your 1L Yaris could have been better utilised by getting it stuck in your dumb fucking throat. 

 

[Guest Trumpton Bacon]

On the other hand, I've turned my central heating on, it's a bit nippy.

[Eric Cuntman]

31 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Good nom Wiz. Add to these simpletons; the other side of the coin 'penny pinching' mongs who drive 30 miles to fill up their car because the petrol is 0.5p cheaper. 

I'd have to spend a while doing the calculations, but I'm pretty sure the 10p you've saved on filling up the minuscule tank of your 1L Yaris could have been better utilised by getting it stuck in your dumb fucking throat. 

 

I have to add to this, the Cunts in their twenties and thirties, driving everywhere at 25 mph because they've got a thought control spy box in their car to save 45 quid a year on insurance. Fucking hell, when I was 21 and driving a MK V Cortina 2.0, if I was on my own and road was empty, it was bounce the valves and try and tear the tyres off the rims, it's part of growing up and how you learn to drive properly after passing the test. Now they immediately start driving like 80 year olds. They'll be wearing all beige and responding to TV ads that get them a free Parker pen by the time they're 26

[PANZER MURPHY]

40 minutes ago, BuggerLugs said:

On the other hand, I've turned my central heating on, it's a bit nippy.

I've turned my electric blanket up a notch because it's too early to be getting up ..good move though buggerlugs baby. .ya get no medals for fighting the elements 

Panzerknacker 

[Guest Trumpton Bacon]

14 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said:

. .ya get no medals for fighting the elements 

Panzerknacker 

Exactly.

[Guest Trumpton Bacon]

21 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Fucking hell, when I was 21 and driving a MK V Cortina 2.0, if I was on my own and road was empty, it was bounce the valves and try and tear the tyres off the rims

Morning Eric, can I assume you drive an Audi these days?

Talking of nostalgia, remember driving at night and you could leave your high beam on for ages cos no cunt was ever coming the other way? You could also drive the entire length of the M1 without stopping or dropping below 90.

[Wolfie]

6 hours ago, Gronda Gronda said:

I know someone who was once a baker.  He told me that at the end of each day, he'd have to throw out enough food to fill a shopping trolley.

One day he thought he'd mark the goods down to a fraction of the asking price ten minutes before closing.  He purchased some himself when his shift finished.

Rather than being thanked by the boss, he was almost sacked on the grounds of theft.

It's a shame you weren't there, to cheer the boss up with your legendary, rib-tickling humour.

[Wolfie]

43 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I have to add to this, the Cunts in their twenties and thirties, driving everywhere at 25 mph because they've got a thought control spy box in their car to save 45 quid a year on insurance. Fucking hell, when I was 21 and driving a MK V Cortina 2.0, if I was on my own and road was empty, it was bounce the valves and try and tear the tyres off the rims, it's part of growing up and how you learn to drive properly after passing the test. Now they immediately start driving like 80 year olds. They'll be wearing all beige and responding to TV ads that get them a free Parker pen by the time they're 26

Some, despite wishing otherwise, drive cars which cannot travel beyond 25mph. I've often wondered what this must be like, with every other cunt sitting on your rear bumper. Pansy?

[Eric Cuntman]

12 minutes ago, BuggerLugs said:

Morning Eric, can I assume you drive an Audi these days?

Talking of nostalgia, remember driving at night and you could leave your high beam on for ages cos no cunt was ever coming the other way? You could also drive the entire length of the M1 without stopping or dropping below 90.

I remember the revelation that, contrary to all available road safety info, you can actually see much better in heavy fog if you switch all your lights off, because you don't have the light reflecting back off the fog and dazzling you. And no, don't have an Audi. Borrowed one for a couple of weeks in the 90s and it was terrific, but I wouldn't have one now as the brand has been adopted by complete cunts with £500 sunglasses and smartphone holders on the windscreen. 

[Wolfie]

7 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said:

There is a special breed of cunt out there, they have more money than sense and no clue as to the enormity of tit-ness they make themselves to be.  They'll sit in the car park, motor running waiting for another oblivious cunt to waste money on shite beer and wine; they'll go to some over priced boozer and send excess money down the u bend...two days ago, my wife and I visited a lovely artisan bake shop, we had our eyes on a brilliant ciabatta loaf and a jewish seeded rye and a sour dough....the cunt at the head of the queue was braying on about the bread going off too fast, and that they had to bin so much of their last purchase, and without taking a breath, bought the lot on the fucking wall...including our ciabatta, rye and sourdough!  The rest of us were left to wait for the baker to produce more bread, which would be even more fresh and wonderful, but the cunt is just going to end up putting it all in the bin again.  

No matter the situation, there is always going to be some incredibly wasteful stupid fucking cunt, and I want them dead.  

Wasteful cunt. It sounds to me as though he was a member of the upper crust.

*coat/taxi*

[PANZER MURPHY]

8 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Some, despite wishing otherwise, drive cars which cannot travel beyond 25mph. I've often wondered what this must be like, with every other cunt sitting on your rear bumper. Pansy?

What happens behind my miracle of steel and plastic is of no concern to me 

Panzerknacker 

[Wolfie]

Just now, Panzerknacker said:

What happens behind my miracle of steel and plastic is of no concern to me 

Panzerknacker 

This suggests you don't use your rear-view mirrors as intended. Is this correct?

[Guest Trumpton Bacon]

29 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

And no, don't have an Audi. Borrowed one for a couple of weeks in the 90s and it was terrific, but I wouldn't have one now as the brand has been adopted by complete cunts with £500 sunglasses and smartphone holders on the windscreen. 

Correct answer.

I love winding the cunts up, they're so easy. I've managed to get a couple to spaz out completely by blocking them from passing, it's funny as fuck, you can see em in the mirror swarming all over the road while Mrs. Audi cunt is blocking little Audi cunts ears as Mr. Audi cunt enters meltdown mode spitting all over the windscreen whilst trying to snap off the steering wheel. 

[colonelkurtz]

" ..... visited a lovely artisan bake shop ..."  come on Wiz , just say Greggs ffs.

[Guest Gronda Gronda]

37 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

It's a shame you weren't there, to cheer the boss up with your legendary, rib-tickling humour.

It's always nice to meet another member of my fan club.

If I was wanting to cheer the boss up, I would have told him some Ethiopian joke.

[PANZER MURPHY]

34 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

This suggests you don't use your rear-view mirrors as intended. Is this correct?

Ya don't look back in life man...water under the bridge. .spilled milk baby ..forward all the time. .it's all happening in front of ya

Panzerknacker 

[Eric Cuntman]

14 minutes ago, BuggerLugs said:

Correct answer.

I love winding the cunts up, they're so easy. I've managed to get a couple to spaz out completely by blocking them from passing, it's funny as fuck, you can see em in the mirror swarming all over the road while Mrs. Audi cunt is blocking little Audi cunts ears as Mr. Audi cunt enters meltdown mode spitting all over the windscreen whilst trying to snap off the steering wheel. 

It's one of the reasons I used to love my tatty old Volvo 240. It was the perfect car to crash into these cunts with, and then look at their facial expression when it dawns on them that their beloved shiny car had been written off by a vehicle worth less than their phone, and to add insult to injury, was perfectly roadworthy following the collision.

[Wolfie]

13 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said:

Ya don't look back in life man. ..forward all the time. .it's all happening in front of ya

Panzerknacker 

Let me get this straight. You poodle along at lower speeds than other road users, never checking your rear-view mirrors to see who you're undoubtedly pissing off. You must be as popular on the roads as you are here.

[Mrs Roops]

 

58 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I remember the revelation that, contrary to all available road safety info, you can actually see much better in heavy fog if you switch all your lights off, because you don't have the light reflecting back off the fog and dazzling you. And no, don't have an Audi. Borrowed one for a couple of weeks in the 90s and it was terrific, but I wouldn't have one now as the brand has been adopted by complete cunts with £500 sunglasses and smartphone holders on the windscreen. 

Hmmm...I drive an Audi

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, Mrs Roops said:

 

Hmmm...I drive an Audi

I thought it was a Mercedes? Pity that you've come to this, after having admirable automotive tastes in the past, being a fan of the sadly defunct Saab.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I have to add to this, the Cunts in their twenties and thirties, driving everywhere at 25 mph because they've got a thought control spy box in their car to save 45 quid a year on insurance. Fucking hell, when I was 21 and driving a MK V Cortina 2.0, if I was on my own and road was empty, it was bounce the valves and try and tear the tyres off the rims, it's part of growing up and how you learn to drive properly after passing the test. Now they immediately start driving like 80 year olds. They'll be wearing all beige and responding to TV ads that get them a free Parker pen by the time they're 26

Those things are fucking bollocks to the point where I'd strongly advise getting one.

I had one from 18 until I was 24 and drove my shit car like a total cunt and regularly got an excellent score in excess of 90%. 

[Mrs Roops]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I thought it was a Mercedes? Pity that you've come to this, after having admirable automotive tastes in the past, being a fan of the sadly defunct Saab.

Ever since Saab went down hill due to GM's meddling I moved over to Audi. Last year I had a Merc E class - lovely car with the smoothest 9 speed auto I've experienced, also I was seduced by the 3 pointed badge but it's an old man's car and it wasn't really me. After some badgering with my firms CFO I very recently took delivery of a S5 Sportback Quattro and I love it!

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

18 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Ever since Saab went down hill due to GM's meddling I moved over to Audi. Last year I had a Merc E class - lovely car with the smoothest 9 speed auto I've experienced, also I was seduced by the 3 pointed badge but it's an old man's car and it wasn't really me. After some badgering with my firms CFO I very recently took delivery of a S5 Sportback Quattro and I love it!

Does badgering mean a boardroom blowjob?