Pens.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Why the fuck do some cunts have loads of pens?  "Oh" they squeal "DON'T USE THAT ONE to clean yer ears out!" they add with a certain quip, "That's my note-pad pen..."   These cunts have a pen for each and every function: A cheque book pen; A fountain pen; A Biro pen and a fucking writing pen, not to mention The Punkers Pen, the daffy cunts. 

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, 'eavensabove said:

Why the fuck do some cunts have loads of pens?  "Oh" they squeal "DON'T USE THAT ONE to clean yer ears out!" they add with a certain quip, "That's my note-pad pen..."   These cunts have a pen for each and every function: A cheque book pen; A fountain pen; A Biro pen and a fucking writing pen, not to mention The Punkers Pen, the daffy cunts. 

I have one, a Fisher Space pen. It writes upside down, underwater over grease, at minus or plus 100 degrees, and a refill lasts for about 5 years with normal weekly use. It's the bollocks, a bit like Zippo lighters.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I have one, a Fisher Space pen. It writes upside down, underwater over grease, at minus or plus 100 degrees, and a refill lasts for about 5 years with normal weekly use. It's the bollocks, a bit like Zippo lighters.

You silly sausage. Zippo's cannot write.

[Eric Cuntman]

5 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

You silly sausage. Zippo's cannot write.

But space pens can. Upside down and under water, just like in the Poseidon adventure. Uncanny!

[Guest 'eavensabove]

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

But space pens can. Upside down and under water, just like in the Poseidon adventure. Uncanny!

So let me get this straight. You have a pen, that you can use when you're under water and upside-down in grease...

Fucking handy, eh?

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, 'eavensabove said:

So let me get this straight. You have a pen, that you can use when you're under water and upside-down in grease...

Fucking handy, eh?

It's always been a blessing whenever I've been trapped, upside down in an oil refinery that's been flooded by a Tsunami. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

It's always been a blessing whenever I've been trapped, upside down in an oil refinery that's been flooded by a Tsunami. 

Can it fit in a Christmas stocking? 

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, 'eavensabove said:

Can it fit in a Christmas stocking? 

Of course it can. It's a fucking Pen. Loony!

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Ah, but what if the aforementioned stocking, isn't upside down eh! See, I gotcha. 

[Eric Cuntman]

5 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Ah, but what if the aforementioned stocking, isn't upside down eh! See, I gotcha. 

Hurrumphh!

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said:

Why the fuck do some cunts have loads of pens?  "Oh" they squeal "DON'T USE THAT ONE to clean yer ears out!" they add with a certain quip, "That's my note-pad pen..."   These cunts have a pen for each and every function: A cheque book pen; A fountain pen; A Biro pen and a fucking writing pen, not to mention The Punkers Pen, the daffy cunts. 

A blankety blank cheque book and pen. 

[Guest judgetwi]

2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

Why the fuck do some cunts have loads of pens?  "Oh" they squeal "DON'T USE THAT ONE to clean yer ears out!" they add with a certain quip, "That's my note-pad pen..."   These cunts have a pen for each and every function: A cheque book pen; A fountain pen; A Biro pen and a fucking writing pen, not to mention The Punkers Pen, the daffy cunts. 

So you found this “funny picture “ and decided to make a nomination out of it by pretending that it’s still the 1980’s and nerds are still walking around with their shirt pockets full of rows of pens. 

Fucking brilliant! Yeah, and all darts players are fat alcoholics and why are those fitness women on the telly wearing those leg warmers? What about all those cunts playing space invaders the wankers? 

Try and get up to date you pathetic wanker.

[Guest White van man]

13 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I have one, a Fisher Space pen. It writes upside down, underwater over grease, at minus or plus 100 degrees, and a refill lasts for about 5 years with normal weekly use. It's the bollocks, a bit like Zippo lighters.

Just use a pencil.

[southerncunt]

Fuck me, it’s the writing implement version of the the testing of Eric Olthwaight. Come on lads, give me a real thrill and start discussing shovels.

Brass handle, mind. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

12 hours ago, judgetwi said:

So you found this “funny picture “ and decided to make a nomination out of it by pretending that it’s still the 1980’s and nerds are still walking around with their shirt pockets full of rows of pens. 

Fucking brilliant! Yeah, and all darts players are fat alcoholics and why are those fitness women on the telly wearing those leg warmers? What about all those cunts playing space invaders the wankers? 

Try and get up to date you pathetic wanker.

Actually Jewd, it was kind of like the other way around in as much that whilst happening upon the pen-hoarders theme, that the so-called 'funny picture' was amongst those on google, and so was aptly applied in this instance.

I kindly suggest that you yourself aptly apply a sledgehammer to your 'not so funny' head. 

[Bubba C]

Fuck

[Guest luke swarm]

1 hour ago, southerncunt said:

Fuck me, it’s the writing implement version of the the testing of Eric Olthwaight. Come on lads, give me a real thrill and start discussing shovels.

Brass handle, mind. 

I had one of those Stanley no 8....beautiful little shovel with a solid brass ring round the handle, lost it during a house move, I still miss that beauty.

[camberwell gypsy]

49 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

I had one of those Stanley no 8....beautiful little shovel with a solid brass ring round the handle, lost it during a house move, I still miss that beauty.

As used by John Christie, Hawley Harvey Crippen and Fred West. 

[Eric Cuntman]

4 hours ago, White van man said:

Just use a pencil.

That's what the Russians said.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

22 hours ago, luke swarm said:

I had one of those Stanley no 8....beautiful little shovel with a solid brass ring round the handle, lost it during a house move, I still miss that beauty.

Does it write? That's the question.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

21 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

As used by John Christie, Hawley Harvey Crippen and Fred West. 

Freddie West used a pick. 

[Wolfie]

On 5/6/2018 at 10:41 PM, 'eavensabove said:

Why the fuck do some cunts have loads of pens?  "Oh" they squeal "DON'T USE THAT ONE to clean yer ears out!" they add with a certain quip, "That's my note-pad pen..."   These cunts have a pen for each and every function: A cheque book pen; A fountain pen; A Biro pen and a fucking writing pen, not to mention The Punkers Pen, the daffy cunts. 

I see you've lost none of your penchant for eating suppositories.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 minute ago, Wolfie said:

I see you've lost none of your penchant for eating suppositories.

Where the fuck have You been? I quite liked your more recent approach, now let's see your departure again. 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

I submit this is the worst nomination of all time, and Eric’s follow up comment the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever read.

[Guest judgetwi]

1 hour ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

I submit this is the worst nomination of all time, and Eric’s follow up comment the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever read.

Well you could be right but I  reckon  Mr Bores could find 50 or 60 by Lady P that could piss all over this one. Something along the lines of “The Level Crossing at Stoke Poges.”

Perhaps the Jizzer was being ironic in his choice of title for this one? Maybe he’s smarter than we thought?

ie an IQ of 85 rather than 70