BBC sports personality of the year

[Frank]

3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Somewhere in London, a man just choked on a cheese & onion crisp.

Idiot. 

[Frank]

14 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

Actually, Judith, I didn't totally make it up. I can't prove it, but I reckon I could probably convince you that my comment about you liking crisps was based on something you once posted. I could even give you the date of your post (eat your fucking heart out Baws). How do you fancy a silly pound bet, dropped into the next charity box the loser of the bet passes, that I can convince you of all the above? No tricks.

Cringeworthy wet sap. 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

4 minutes ago, Frank said:

Idiot. 

 

2 minutes ago, Frank said:

Cringeworthy wet sap. 

Back again FranK?  

Your AIDS support group must have expelled you.  

[Eric Cuntman]

3 minutes ago, Frank said:

Idiot. 

 

1 minute ago, Frank said:

Cringeworthy wet sap. 

Rattled to fuck.

lol.

[Guest Ollyboro]

3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

 

Rattled to fuck.

lol.

It's the second time in the last week old Plank's tried to muscle in on a conversation between myself and Judy. He's clearly jealous and ridiculously possessive towards one of us. I just hope it's not my skin the weird cunt fancies wearing.

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, Ollyboro said:

It's the second time in the last week old Plank's tried to muscle in on a conversation between myself and Judy. He's clearly jealous and ridiculously possessive towards one of us. I just hope it's not my skin the weird cunt fancies wearing.

He fancies himself as Grayson, the school bully from ripping yarns. But nobody's intimidated anymore, so he's all grumpy.

A bit like when poofs start losing their looks and get all bitter and bitchy.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

He fancies himself as Grayson, the school bully from ripping yarns. But nobody's intimidated anymore, so he's all grumpy.

A bit like when poofs start losing their looks and get all bitter and bitchy.

Larry

He's finished on here, but is too much of prick to have noticed. 

[Wolfie]

6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

He fancies himself as Grayson, the school bully from ripping yarns. But nobody's intimidated anymore, so he's all grumpy.

A bit like when poofs start losing their looks and get all bitter and bitchy.

Expensive clothes can remedy this, Eric.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

10 minutes ago, Ollyboro said:

It's the second time in the last week old Plank's tried to muscle in on a conversation between myself and Judy. He's clearly jealous and ridiculously possessive towards one of us. I just hope it's not my skin the weird cunt fancies wearing.

Trust me Olly. You're completely safe. The only thing Fwanky wears is a frock. Mind you, he may be after your bollocks, as he's without any. 

[Guest N/A]

On 12/10/2018 at 4:41 PM, Eric Cuntman said:

This has doubtless been done before, but it's still worth another kicking.

I'ts a week away and the speculation mounts. I heard yesterday that there are rumours that Ronnie O'Sullivan may be in the running, or that the now retired Phil Taylor could be recognised retrospectively for winning 16 world titles. However, a far more likely scenario is that it will be won by a black, lesbian wimmin's footballer, who will take the opportunity during her acceptance speech to point out that 'it's about time the LGBT community and people of colour are more recognised and represented, blah blah...

Or perhaps a swimmer with no arms and legs who managed to float the length of a pool faster than all the other Billy the Fish raspberries. 

But my money's on them going traditional, and rewarding the athletic prowess of the 'British Muslim' who has successfully raped the most kids this year.

I’d definately vote for the black lezbian wheel chair bound trangender mutant footballer........or Raheem Sterling as it’s know.

and I’m a citeh season ticket holder.

hes a precious little cunt who needs knocking down a peg or two.  

 

Just so long as that egotistical fake accented diamond earring wearing black cunt who drives like he’s in a stolen car doesn’t win.  I can’t stand that F1 cunt with his mong brother.

[Guest N/A]

15 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

He fancies himself as Grayson, the school bully from ripping yarns. But nobody's intimidated anymore, so he's all grumpy.

A bit like when poofs start losing their looks and get all bitter and bitchy.

Ultimately they go all George Michael and hopefully kill themselves as well.   Last Christmas.  Hope so.

 

[Roadkill]

20 minutes ago, Frank said:

Cringeworthy wet sap. 

The hounds are coming, Frank. You're running as fast as you can, but you can hear their scrabbling paws as they plough through the undergrowth behind you. You can smell their fetid breath, stronger and stronger as the distance is closing. You can feel their eyes staring rabidly at your back, darting left and right, up and down to locate the perfect point at which to leap and send you sprawling into the damp leaves and forest mud where they will devour you completely.

Your heart is pounding in your ears and your breath is wheezing in your throat. Your legs are burning with the effort, becoming heavier and heavier with each step and your arms are numb lumps of dead weight. You want to scream out for help desperately, but at this point you know it would just slow you down even more - even if it didn't it would only attract even more of the horrible beasts pursuing you.

The forest if full of hounds, you see. Hounds that were once accepting of your presence among them - some you might have even considered loyal - but the pack has grown weary of you now that winter descends and food is running short. Now you're just another easy meal for them.

The dark edges of your vision are starting to grow with each strained pulse of your oxygen deprived blood as it courses through your burning veins. The tear-streaked sight of the endless labyrinth of moss covered trees before you is becoming narrower and darker. Your stomach cramps into an even tighter ball of tissue, as if trying to tear itself free from your shared doom, causing you to retch and choke painfully. Moments later your mouth fills with what little contents remained within the walls of your treacherous stomach, most of it splashes down the front of your shirt harmlessly, but the rest you inhale. It blocks your windpipe, not enough to suffocate you, but enough to cause a painful coughing fit.

You make it a few more paces before your legs lock up completely, throwing you into the soft, almost comforting, embrace of the forest floor. You lie there, gasping and spluttering for what seems like an eternity, desperately trying to will your broken body into getting up before the savage beasts surround you, but its too late. They're here!

You don't even notice that you piss yourself in absolute fear as your reluctant lungs finally fill with enough air to unleash a terrified, woman-like scream.

Just as they're about to pounce you are enveloped by a bright, heavenly light.

"What the fuck are you doing in my back garden, you coked up fucking spacker?," I ask at the sight of you curled up and quivering on my back doorstep, "Stop annoying my fucking dogs!"

I kick you very hard in your manhood.

 

THE END    

[Eric Cuntman]

3 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

The hounds are coming, Frank. You're running as fast as you can, but you can hear their scrabbling paws as they plough through the undergrowth behind you. You can smell their fetid breath, stronger and stronger as the distance is closing. You can feel their eyes staring rabidly at your back, darting left and right, up and down to locate the perfect point at which to leap and send you sprawling into the damp leaves and forest mud where they will devour you completely.

Your heart is pounding in your ears and your breath is wheezing in your throat. Your legs are burning with the effort, becoming heavier and heavier with each step and your arms are numb lumps of dead weight. You want to scream out for help desperately, but at this point you know it would just slow you down even more - even if it didn't it would only attract even more of the horrible beasts pursuing you.

The forest if full of hounds, you see. Hounds that were once accepting of your presence among them - some you might have even considered loyal - but the pack has grown weary of you now that winter descends and food is running short. Now you're just another easy meal for them.

The dark edges of your vision are starting to grow with each strained pulse of your oxygen deprived blood as it courses through your burning veins. The tear-streaked sight of the endless labyrinth of moss covered trees before you is becoming narrower and darker. Your stomach cramps into an even tighter ball of tissue, as if trying to tear itself free from your shared doom, causing you to retch and choke painfully. Moments later your mouth fills with what little contents remained within the walls of your treacherous stomach, most of it splashes down the front of your shirt harmlessly, but the rest you inhale. It blocks your windpipe, not enough to suffocate you, but enough to cause a painful coughing fit.

You make it a few more paces before your legs lock up completely, throwing you into the soft, almost comforting, embrace of the forest floor. You lie there, gasping and spluttering for what seems like an eternity, desperately trying to will your broken body into getting up before the savage beasts surround you, but its too late. They're here!

You don't even notice that you piss yourself in absolute fear as your reluctant lungs finally fill with enough air to unleash a terrified, woman-like scream.

Just as they're about to pounce you are enveloped by a bright, heavenly light.

"What the fuck are you doing in my back garden, you coked up fucking spacker?," I ask at the sight of you curled up and quivering on my back doorstep, "Stop annoying my fucking dogs!"

I kick you very hard in your manhood.

 

THE END    

Have you been eating creativity pills today?

[Roadkill]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Have you been eating creativity pills today?

No, actually I've been trying to stay hydrated because I have the shits. Don't eat Tesco sushi

 

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, Roadkill said:

No, actually I've been trying to stay hydrated because I have the shits. Don't eat Tesco sushi

 

I wouldn't eat any sushi. Filthy shit. Some of it's still alive.

[Roadkill]

4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I wouldn't eat any sushi. Filthy shit. Some of it's still alive.

I'm a sucker for those little yellow "reduced" stickers.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

I'm a sucker for those little yellow "reduced" stickers.

Peel em off and stick them on Jack Daniels bottles.

on second thoughts don't, Mr Patel doesn't want to be scraping you off his cash machine at 2 am.

[Roadkill]

3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Peel em off and stick them on Jack Daniels bottles.

on second thoughts don't, Mr Patel doesn't want to be scraping you off his cash machine at 2 am.

I prefer rum these days. I admit I was heavily influenced by the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie - wonderful production values:

 

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

He fancies himself as Grayson, the school bully from ripping yarns. But nobody's intimidated anymore, so he's all grumpy.

A bit like when poofs start losing their looks and get all bitter and bitchy.

Grayson Perry more like. 

[Eric Cuntman]

Just now, camberwell gypsy said:

Grayson Perry more like. 

Not as masculine though.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Not as masculine though.

The ugly sisters? 

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

On 12/10/2018 at 4:41 PM, Eric Cuntman said:

This has doubtless been done before, but it's still worth another kicking.

I'ts a week away and the speculation mounts. I heard yesterday that there are rumours that Ronnie O'Sullivan may be in the running, or that the now retired Phil Taylor could be recognised retrospectively for winning 16 world titles. However, a far more likely scenario is that it will be won by a black, lesbian wimmin's footballer, who will take the opportunity during her acceptance speech to point out that 'it's about time the LGBT community and people of colour are more recognised and represented, blah blah...

Or perhaps a swimmer with no arms and legs who managed to float the length of a pool faster than all the other Billy the Fish raspberries. 

But my money's on them going traditional, and rewarding the athletic prowess of the 'British Muslim' who has successfully raped the most kids this year.

Well, it certainly won't be you.

Will you be watching it through the window of the nearest house to your home, sorry I mean bus shelter.

[camberwell gypsy]

On 12/14/2018 at 12:26 AM, Roadkill said:

I'm a sucker for those little yellow "reduced" stickers.

Teena Marie was a sucker for your love. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

On ‎12‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 12:26 AM, Roadkill said:

I'm a sucker for those little yellow "reduced" stickers.

He preferred to be called Bill.

[Earl of Punkape]

Not long now before remoaner Lineker, butch Balding a co launch the LGBT British Buggery Corporation’s  SPOTY awards from the Kyber Pass in Birmingham.....