Hammer of Cunts Posted December 31, 2023 Report Share Posted December 31, 2023 An actor of whom you haven't heard has suddenly died. You know the bloke, he was in that thing with Whatsisname. Did a screen-test for Heartbeat, I think, or was that the other one? Despite his years of treading the boards, this chap never quite achieved National Treasure status, one of life's spear-carriers to the end. His family are shocked and saddened; Thingummy was a much loved uncle/brother/father etc and because it's New Year and no one more important has choked on the sprouts over Xmas, we'll put it in the papers and pretend we give a fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted December 31, 2023 Report Share Posted December 31, 2023 1 hour ago, Hammer of Cunts said: An actor of whom you haven't heard has suddenly died. You know the bloke, he was in that thing with Whatsisname. Did a screen-test for Heartbeat, I think, or was that the other one? Despite his years of treading the boards, this chap never quite achieved National Treasure status, one of life's spear-carriers to the end. His family are shocked and saddened; Thingummy was a much loved uncle/brother/father etc and because it's New Year and no one more important has choked on the sprouts over Xmas, we'll put it in the papers and pretend we give a fuck. It was totally expected, she was a healthy 97 year old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted December 31, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2023 5 minutes ago, Penny Farthing said: It was totally expected, she was a healthy 97 year old. If they was a woman (or an ethnic), there'd be a think-piece about succeeding in a male dominated world (or slavery). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted December 31, 2023 Report Share Posted December 31, 2023 14 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: If they was a woman (or an ethnic), there'd be a think-piece about succeeding in a male dominated world (or slavery). She was a Londoner and a devout Muslim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted December 31, 2023 Report Share Posted December 31, 2023 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted December 31, 2023 Report Share Posted December 31, 2023 Old Uncle Eric was alert and inquisitive ringht to the very end even in the hospital .. Where am I? Who are you? What do you want? Has @Old Chap Raasclaat made his usual fuckwit response to this thread? .. Those were his final questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 31, 2023 Report Share Posted December 31, 2023 Tom Wilkinson was an ok actor that never really made it. Probably because he looked like a turnip farmer. He was pretty much consigned to doing ‘Gentle Comedies’ about groups of mischievous senior citizens going on an adventure to scatter the ashes of one of their friends. Usually accompanied by Julie Walters, Ian McKellen, Sheila Hancock or Honor Blackman. Fucking shite. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted December 31, 2023 Report Share Posted December 31, 2023 2 hours ago, Penny Farthing said: Old Uncle Eric was alert and inquisitive ringht to the very end even in the hospital .. Where am I? Who are you? What do you want? Has @Old Chap Raasclaat made his usual fuckwit response to this thread? .. Those were his final questions. It's New Year's Eve, cheer up you cunt. Changing the subject, I think Big Ben is far too old fashioned and sexist in these bender fluid times... Being such a large building and resembling a massive erect boner in the London skyline, I thought 'Big Pen' would be more fitting, considering your legendary schlong and all that, and I was wondering what you thought about it? Happy New Year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted December 31, 2023 Report Share Posted December 31, 2023 6 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: It's New Year's Eve, cheer up you cunt. Changing the subject, I think Big Ben is far too old fashioned and sexist in these bender fluid times... Being such a large building and resembling a massive erect boner in the London skyline, I thought 'Big Pen' would be more fitting, considering your legendary schlong and all that, and I was wondering what you thought about it? Happy New Year. Fuck Off you miserable old cunt Happy New Year. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted December 31, 2023 Report Share Posted December 31, 2023 8 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said: An actor of whom you haven't heard has suddenly died. You know the bloke, he was in that thing with Whatsisname. Did a screen-test for Heartbeat, I think, or was that the other one? Despite his years of treading the boards, this chap never quite achieved National Treasure status, one of life's spear-carriers to the end. His family are shocked and saddened; Thingummy was a much loved uncle/brother/father etc and because it's New Year and no one more important has choked on the sprouts over Xmas, we'll put it in the papers and pretend we give a fuck. I'm sorry to hear you passed away. Mind you it was expected. Do you want any flowers or just the bag of horse manure I was gonna use on the roses.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted January 1 Author Report Share Posted January 1 22 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: I'm sorry to hear you passed away. Mind you it was expected. Do you want any flowers or just the bag of horse manure I was gonna use on the roses.? Wow! I can't keep up with this level of cunting sophistication. Are you the ghost of Oscar Wilde? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entitled little cunt Posted January 1 Report Share Posted January 1 Is Gary Linekar dead ?.I heard he was crushed under the huge weight of his own pieties, the poor cunt . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted January 1 Report Share Posted January 1 14 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: Wow! I can't keep up with this level of cunting sophistication. Are you the ghost of Oscar Wilde? Oscar's dead, when did that happen? 🏳️🌈 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted January 1 Report Share Posted January 1 On 31/12/2023 at 12:33, Penny Farthing said: It was totally expected, she was a healthy 97 year old. That was unexpected, I only saw her in M&S last weekend, stocking-up for a New Year blow-out (she doesn't do Christmas, all her old friends are dead now, terrible shame) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted January 1 Report Share Posted January 1 9 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said: Is Gary Linekar dead ?.I heard he was crushed under the huge weight of his own pieties, the poor cunt . I'd heard he was stabbed to death by some dusky Windrush-type cunt who he'd taken on as a man-servant, for minimum wage, and was living in the shed in his back garden. Oh, the fuckin' irony! 🙂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 1 Report Share Posted January 1 1 hour ago, entitled little cunt said: Is Gary Linekar dead ?.I heard he was crushed under the huge weight of his own pieties, the poor cunt . Were those chicken and mushroom pieties or steak and kidney pieties? Sprinkled with salt 'n' vinegar of course! 😅 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 2 Report Share Posted January 2 On 31/12/2023 at 11:15, Hammer of Cunts said: An actor of whom you haven't heard has suddenly died. You know the bloke, he was in that thing with Whatsisname. Did a screen-test for Heartbeat, I think, or was that the other one? Despite his years of treading the boards, this chap never quite achieved National Treasure status, one of life's spear-carriers to the end. His family are shocked and saddened; Thingummy was a much loved uncle/brother/father etc and because it's New Year and no one more important has choked on the sprouts over Xmas, we'll put it in the papers and pretend we give a fuck. I've collected £1.50 now in a whip round of the Corner since you specifically said "Charity not flowers please" so which charity would you like? You've devoted a disproportionate amount of your deceased life to immigrants so I naturally thought £1.50 for the annual Somalia reunion in Reading, on the site of the first stabbing, would be warmly welcomed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 2 Report Share Posted January 2 22 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: Were those chicken and mushroom pieties or steak and kidney pieties? Sprinkled with salt 'n' vinegar of course! 😅 I do like a mince beef and onion pietie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 2 Report Share Posted January 2 38 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I do like a mince beef and onion pietie. Hard to get hold of, short crust of course! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted January 3 Report Share Posted January 3 22 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: I do like a mince beef and onion pietie. 🧅onion is overrated, who wants to smell like a bloody Frenchman (or woman, for that matter)? 🐌 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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