Goober

I'm surprised he didn't opt for a Weimaraner.

Billy, we might despise each other, but there's one thing I'm sure we can agree on, we both despise Panzy more. Have a fuck off.

"I got that beat. That's a Moray eel. Bit right through my wet suit."

Anyone here remember smallpox? Thought not. Move on.

To quote your good self: 😂😂😂

No idea how old you are PC, but if you're over 35 there's a fair chance you had "that fucking vaccine". Sugar cube anyone? It's a tad ironic that 'that fucking vaccine' may have contributed to eradicating it from the UK, but it's now potentially reintroducing it. It's most likely a non-story. If it's not, at least the BBC will have a wider pool of potential contestants for Strictly in 25 years time.

Educate me? Bilbo, anything you have to teach isn't worth learning. That you're as thick as two short planks is a matter of record. You never have and never will receive an apology from me whilst there is a hole between your arse cheeks. Don't forget you've delegated your authority to issue apologies to me. Bilbo is very sorry for Bobby Sand's suffering and hopes for a unified Ireland very soon. Whilst I know it would be stupid to be stealing Christmas trees to sell in August, just in case, may I recommend at least factor 50 for your neck whilst you're out and about with your saw.

Did I claim to be well informed? It's not necessary when responding to the bilge you post, Bilbo. Despite protestations, you've tried to rebut anyway. Not to great effect, but C- for effort. I can recommend some good sunblock for your neck, if you have one, Bilbo.

@Stubby Pecker?

It could run into the road whilst its owner is eyeing up an unconscious tramp lying in the hedge.

You're upselling it, PC. Are you his pimp?

I'd never be so mean to wish it a slow death, Frank. That's heartless beyond belief. I hope it has a quick, relatively painless death very soon to spare it 14 years living with you. Do you know what I mean?

I've tried this with the missus, but she always scoops it up, does the claw to the en suite, and chucks it down the sink. Ungrateful cow. So what you're saying is that despite your best efforts you've not even managed to get one shoot further than 5 mm? Fucking hell, Stubbs. I hope you're not expecting a pay rise in line with inflation this year.

Shit happens. How's newt wanking season gone this year? Have you broken your record and got one to shoot its load further than 8 cm?

Who is 'they', Bill? The courts? If anything, I can see why the Democrats wouldn't want this as it only galvanises Trump's poorly educated, redneck base. Search warrants are issued by the courts based on reasonable grounds. The application to the court must have been approved by Trump's appointment as director of the FBI, Christopher Wray, a Republican. He won't run again, he's got better things to do in the few years he's got left. It's time consuming, hard work to try and rip off everyone one comes into contact with.

From Punkape? When's the deviant due for release, PK?

...does he have an M4? No, it's imaginary.

I've never understood the obsession with blue Smarties. Only the orange ones are tasty.

250? What's my prize? If it's a nosh on your cock, fuck off.

Oh! Is this akin to guess the number of smarties in the jar at the village fête? Is too many a valid answer?

I'm certain there must be some missing words or punctuation here. This could be one of the rare cases where correct grammar really is critically important, because it sounds like you're planning to give Kate and the one whose name I can't remember (although I do remember she had a nice arse) a double barrelled volley from your and Neil's custard cannons. Which hand will you have Neil's in, and will you be wearing a rubber glove?

I'm afraid to say the mother in this case has used up any sympathy deserving of such a situation. These legal wranglings do nothing to help her Darwin Award winning child. They do, however, get much publicity that will inevitably lead to her being paid a large sum to recount her woes to a Sunday rag. I suppose her futile efforts also help to assuage the guilt she must feel for allowing her child to get into that position in the first place, most likely through lack of parental oversight. Never mind that it's costing us a small fortune. The latest wheeze to delay the inevitable is to move the child to a hospice, as the relationship with the hospital has broken down (because the hospital want to do the best for her child, whilst she's a stupid cunt that's prolonging the agony). Never mind that there's a good chance he'd snuff it on route or that it would be massively expensive. The parents have argued that he should be allowed to die at the time God chooses. In which case, turn off the power supply and see how long it takes for God to make up his mind.

They seem to understand well enough how to turn the fucking thing up, but turning it down seems to be beyond them.

This bloke had the same idea as you: