Cuntybaws

Fuck me, if that's the alternative it's no wonder so many coloured people choose to cross the channel packed into a leaky tin bath instead.

Hong Kong fucking Phooey was a more convincing Eastern pugilist than that fat cunt. I wonder if he ever fucked Rosemary, the telephone operator? (Penry, that is, not Kendo.)

I don't normally get involved in grammatical matters, as you know, but I feel duty bound to point out that there is absolutely nothing wrong with @Dick Fiddler's punctuation there. There's obviously something VERY fucking wrong with @Dick Fiddler himself, but that's another story for another time.

I gave Mrs Baws a great orgasm last night. Ungrateful cunt just spat it out.

'Sexist' Amazon Alexa can't answer Lionesses question - "When asked on Wednesday "for the result of the England-Australia football match today" it said there was no match." Even the most rudimentary AI on the planet knows that women's football isn't proper football, which seems to have upset some lesbians.

Thought you might have highlighted the Emu episode 😉

If the angel Moroni won't guide you to the golden tablets of revelation you've just got to take what you can get.

It'll be even worse for a Scotsman, Neil, on every count. If they do win it I suppose they will inarguably be the world's best women's football team, for what little that's worth. And, unlike their lesbian tennis playing sisters, they will at least have played to the same rules and for the same number of minutes as their useless male equivalents.

Bill?

Violet Beauretard.

Just a pity Lenny Henry wasn't inside at the time.

Swedes 2-1 Turnips

By the licking of your bums, something sticky this way comes.

Good luck taking that monstrosity along the pathetic windy single-track lanes that the yokels down there have the temerity to call "roads". Are you going to do the North Coast 500 next? I'd pay good money to watch you take Frank up the Drumbeg Loop.

I'd rather read the book, personally. The film would have been so much better if it was an hour or two shorter, and about 25 times less pretentious. In fact, they could just have played "Also sprach Zarathustra" on loop for twenty minutes and then given us ten minutes of HAL before calling it a day.

The great black whale. Why didn't Americans just pick their own fucking cotton?

As I've said before, after "2001: A Space Odyssey" Clarke and Kubrick discussed the nature of the alien race which had ascended from biological beings to immortal machine entities and then into beings of pure energy and spirit who "lived" between dimensions in the interstitial fabric of space time itself. That's my plan.

Of course, an exception will be made if Putin dies of AIDS-related arse cancer.

There have been 85 Best Actor Oscars since the inception of he Academy Awards. British actors have won 43 of them.

Life's too short to be a punctuation Nazi, and commas are the least of anyone's worries given some of the remedial school sunshine bus English on here. That said, I was surprised at the omission of a possessive apostrophe in "Robertsons".

When I was young, I was poor. Now, after many years of hard, honest, painstaking work, I am no longer young.

Like this one?

She had one hit, 33 years ago, and that was a cover version. There's no denying her legacy as one of the stupidest fucking cunts ever to slither out of Ireland, though, up against some fairly stiff opposition. My only disappointment is that it wasn't a suicide pact with Bono.