Rev

Yes. She's little more than a Fagin nose on legs these days and let's face it, her brake pads likely reek of bin juice and yeast, but I'm not an ungenerous man. If push comes to shove, I could turn her over and thrash her soundly up her giblets.

In no particular order, it'd be McGuinness, Henry, Ball and the Baker cunt...who I've never heard of, although I'd like Henry to suffer rather more slowly than just a simple bullet wound. Would a trenching shovel be part of the deal? I'd fuck the sugar-free McCall cunt, out of sympathy more than anything else...before dismembering her and torching her still warm corpse, obviously.

It's that David Tennant in glasses looking absolute cunt Peston I'd like to nail-gun to a fucking table, before relieving the smug prick of his extremities with a pair of secateurs, powdering the bastard's shins courtesy of a tyre lever and setting fire to his screaming remains...naturally. I want him dead.

Who'd have thought that the least funny of the Goodies would have aged into the insufferable old Green-voting nature-felching arsehole that is Bill Fucking Oddie? I'd quite contentedly turn the fat bearded, terminally dull, piss-soaked cunt into blancmange with a paving slab.

Have you forgotten Toberglory-hole, the gender-fluid, non-binary and furry-breasted Asian Trans womble? An absurd, pastel-haired snowflake with a predilection for internet-bought Chinese oestrogen, chastity cock cages and zoo porn.

Indeed, Mr B. I suspect her sweaty drapes are much like an old laundry bag stuffed with curdled and rather gamy honeycomb tripe. The fucking sea-hag probably lactates pure beef dripping after her breakfast pint of lasagne. Let's arrange her sudden death.

I'd have fucked the paraurethral fluid out of that bint Jane, but apparently that pair of bearded, yellow-dungareed wank-puffins that danced with her were making her air-tight before I'd reached double figures.

This too fat to fucking breathe, mis-shapen, fuck-ugly, cunt like a ripped-out fireplace, talent-resistant Blubberella sow needs to retire from public life. She's stuffed that many calories down her fucking neck, her anal prolapse must look like a burst boxing glove. I'd set this fucking land-whale on fire it weren't for all the Greenpeace lesbians and beardy cock-snorkeling lefties whining about the catastrophic damage the fumes would cause on several continents. I want her dead.

We can endlessly pontificate over political and societal chicanery and the machinations of government, but what we really need is Einsatzgruppen on the streets to clear up the track-suited walking waste and a nuclear strike on the land of the white flag across the channel to create a toxic barrier. Once we've relieved ourselves of the burden of the 40 a day, shit-smelling benefits-lepers swanning around pound shops in their electric dole-chariots accompanied by their IQ of a Toblerone offspring and the French, I couldn't give a flying dogshit about Maxwell House or Cadbury's Dairy Milk. I have a plethora of neighbours I can quite happy bludgeon to fucking death for their stash if needs be.

I could arrange an initial response meeting for that swarthy cum-flecked bucket-fanny'd sow with the Oskar Dirlewanger Appreciation Society just to break the ice if necessary. Having a uterus like a damaged shipping container isn't commensurate with the vanguard of haute couture, so I suspect Beckham is now reduced to just back-scuttling her. Her sphincter must look like a pustular stoma bag filled to the brim with chopped liver these days. Richard E Grant is a cunt.

To be perfectly honest, I couldn't give a flying cunt if they wear a mask or not, I'm just going to run over as many of these Corona-defying faeces-smeared fucking shitgibbons as I'm able. The Primark-anoraked herd needs thinned out. I want them dead.

I'm not entirely convinced that half a kilo of Baxters Crinkle Cut falling out of your arse presages such an acute condition. Have you tried drinking a good quality drain cleaner? Keep us all updated.

Laura Fucking Kuenssberg? She attended one of the elite Private Schools for Young Sluts in the west end of my home town. From what I gather from my less than salubrious sources, she has a cunt like a flattened ghillie's wader. It'd be akin to fucking an abandoned chest freezer full of defrosted economy brand pizzas...minus the bacterial vaginosis, obviously. Nick Robinson's a cunt.

I'm rather ambivalent regarding this cunt, but I'd probably donate my Tubby Custard up her tubes. However, she looks the type who has a clitoris like an ALDI chorizo, so it'd probably be prudent to just duct tape her to a workbench and give her a damn good throat-fucking instead. Patrick J Adams is a cunt.

I'd probably flip this tiresome cunt over and batter her dung-hatch to be honest. I strongly suspect she's that accommodating at the front that an all-in wrestler could quite easily bungee down to her cervix without bruising his fucking knees. Sarah Cawood's a cunt.

This Bingo from The Banana Splits-toothed cunt needs doused in forecourt 98 RON and fucking torched. Surprisingly, she's fucked that many blokes, her cunt must be like a thawed out packet of Farmfoods bacon that's been tenderised with a 5 Iron. Tony James is a cunt.

He's a fat Thrush-smelling bastard, but he'll hang that pot-bellied fucking lesbian sow Sturgeon. Scottish nationalism is the syphilis of the uneducated puddle-drinking Lego-eaters. They all need drowned in a bucket of cancerous dog faeces. Absolute fucking arseholes.

There's a veritable cornucopia of these fucking tedious shitshows on while we're being forced to socially interact with close family. I couldn't give a flying shit if some second-rate dentally-challenged and virtually titless ex-Emmerdale star opens up a haberdashery oop North with Mr Fitzwalter's primogeniture, heralded in with the blandest of muzak and shuttle-woven brocade-wearing extras cunts in the background. What the fuck happened to good old Dystopian suffering, amputation, spree killing and blood-letting? Have we finally capitulated to the pink-haired leftie fairy bastards, where everything has to be rainbow-flavoured and tainted with the faint smell of hipster semen? Catherine Cookson was a cunt.

I'd quite happily knee-cap the bastard with a wheel brace. He's a total fucking embarrassment.

Her politics stink, but I'd probably fuck Caroline Lucas. That cunt Ian Blackford just needs stabbed in the fucking teeth.

I caught a bit of this last night. This morbidly obese sow exemplifies everything bad about fat ugly lesbians...stupid, delusional, probably has dreadlocks in her underarms, likely tie-dyes her clothes with her own piss and smells of supermarket Brie. One of the other fat bastards should have done the group of chunkers a favour and drowned this cunt in a bucket of cold dog-sick. I want her dead.

She's like Les Dawson's aborted parasitical twin, except she lives on a diet of Lego, plasticine and has the IQ of a fucking Toblerone. I want her dead.

Oh fuck, you've cut me to the bone with your rapier-like wit. However, you are correct, I know nothing about golf. It's a game for chinless and gender-fluid poofs. A bit like football.

I'm with Gypo here. These blubbernought bastards are a drain on our taxes. When I become emperor, these fucking calorie-laden slab-crackers will be publicly bludgeoned through a bark-stripper, their screaming remains set on fire and the flames put out with a golf shoe. Cunts.

It certainly seems to have lost its verve and intensity Ratters. Skorzeny would have bull-whipped some life into it.