Hokey Gingers

Unhinged irish woman and attention seeker Sinead O` Connor has converted to the religion of peace, islam. At first glance looks like a good fit for the bi polar, self harming singer whose career has dipped somewhat but with 2 billion muslims in the world she should be able to shift a few downloads. Bad news for her tattooist however ( Year one, Gad`s Hill Independent Nursery School ) who now have to rely on Ed Sheeran and Conor McGregor for some custom. Have a listen to this toe tapper chaps.. https://youtu.be/VJ0RdoiSZgk

Poor old Carol`s bingo wings were flapping about the other morning on a cool westerly, perhaps it`s time for a change saggy tits.

Fill me.

A couple were sitting at the bar in their local. As they both were sporting a deep healthy tan the barman enquired if they had just returned from their holidays. The bloke said they indeed had just returned but he couldn`t be sure of the location although he thought it was an island. " Rhodes....Crete??" asked the barman ""No...no...." replied the punter. "Cyprus...Majorca ??" " No....i don`t think so." The barman served some customers and returned minutes later. " Gran Canaria ..Tenerife ??" " No, not them. Tell me, what do you call that green plant that grows on the sides of trees and buildings?" " Ivy" replied the barman. The punter turns to his wife and says " Ivy, where did we go on our fucking holidays ? "

Obviously ignore this advice if your name is Bill, instead kick the backpack till the Ed Sheeran tickets fall out.

I was reading an article about "Ken" just the other day. He reckoned with exercise, proper diet and a positive outlook he may live to well over a hundred years old, in fact reaching 109 was his target. Admirable, but i`m hoping the wooden cunt succumbs to Ash dieback or failing that gets whittled into a d.i.y taffy fleshlight by Bubba.

What brought Leo to Eire anyway?

" He says his names Punkape, reckons he has a big cock.."

Indeed.A life long depressive the final straw came on hearing he had won a comeback part in a local production of "Paint Your Wagon" at the Tatsfield Working Men`s Club. His initial joy was short lived though on hearing they only wanted his arsehole to play the back of the wagon.

This cunt sings jazz with a hat on indoors all year round. That strikes me as strange and rather creepy. I can only assume he has BLM tatts or a stash of weed under there. Not on son !!

Cowboys Ted, ..cowboys.

You bastards. Ken was generous to the last insisted he should be "harvested" after death...

Ken will never be dead while the C4`s Fliddy Men make us piss with laughter.

Fuck off Steph.

Dalton sucked ass. Keys and White`s attempt at a theme tune was unlistenable. Stick a blond wig on Craig and it`s Debbie Ash looking at you, "Q" i assume stands for queen. Fleming would be turning in his grave at this lot.

Lets do this....

Punkys laptop will look like it`s been covered in wallpaper paste.

Harsh words Stubbs. Thickness is relative as i`m pretty sure there are no asian rape gangs active in S.Armagh and if there were S.Armagh "social services" would be handing out free duct tape and late night mystery tours to the offenders.

Although made before my time i remember being scared of this when i was very young. I think it was the floppy ears.

Punky will be out today with his chums chasing foxy all over Cheshire. Foxy drives a 4x4 and loves cock.