Eric Cuntman

Would you mind washing yours out with Harpic? No need to spit.

The last time an Englishman held an ash shafted axe, it was Edward lll swinging it at Philip Vl at Crecy in 1346, we won that bastard.

Axe handles are made from hickory. Or beech if they're cheap.

If you place Su Pollard in the same attractiveness bracket as Carol Vorderman... ..it really is true that masturbation affects your eyesight.

I nominated the last Vagisan cunt ointment advert because it featured Jenny Eclair. They've found an equally stringy, obnoxious and unattractive blonde hag to replace her. There's definitely a theme, they could be sisters.

Will Dame Widow Fwanky be treading the boards in panto this December? I hear his performance of 'Thinderella' is breathtaking.

An amusing footnote to the Hungerford massacre, After Ryan had already slaughtered god knows how many, a hero emerged from the chaos, an elderly man on a pushbike rode past him, jingling the bike's bell and shouting; "don't be so bloody stupid!" Doesn't sound like much, but still demonstrates more bravery than exhibited by the average police commissioner.

I just read that you can catch rabies in Mexico. Which means Jew hunting must still be legal there!

Tautologies are like buses, you wait for ages, and then 2 come along together at the same time.

Front row, far right.. ..murderer.

She looks the type of girl to add novelty value to the experience, by using a set of Scania tyre levers to show you her kidneys.

He'd be more likely to join a gaggle.

I now have 6 ratlikes. fuck off.

You've only posted on this thread because there's a picture that looks like a huge cock. You filthy fucking poof. Lol.

This one can string a sentence together, just, but there's just no pizazz. And judging by the font and disproportionate gaps, this person seems to communicate using a fisher price plastic typewriter. Or they're like Stephen Hawking and type with a stick glued to their head.

It would be prudent to keep her alive though. One day we may need her to respond to the signal of an ancient alien probe. She could be stored in a huge aquarium, made from 'transparent aloominerm'.

We should nuke the entire post from orbit... ..it's the only way to be sure.

That Michelle O'Neill's worth ploughing though.

Learn to drive a motor car. Cry-baby cunt.

Captain Pugwash named his ship after her..

Well, that and dragging the fat cunt to Ethiopia, to parade her in front of those poor starving fuckers, who must have really appreciated seeing what it looks like to gorge yourself on 12 thousand calories a day. Poor wretches could probably see her through the Winnebago's curtains, deepthroating Ginsters sausage rolls.

I paid mine with MasturCard®

It probably gets waxed.

"You so funny wiv your bawdy head an' bweedy eye, pway dwum for me Fwang.. pway dwum.."

At least I'm not getting to you.